17.5 months - how much do I cut the nap?

[mmom]

My LO only slept 1 hour from 12-1.  No doubt a little OS/OT due to his cousins also being watched by my FIL. So aiming for a 6 pm bedtime and hopefully a good night.   Back to square 1 tomorrow!

[mmom]

So DH isn't going to get any father of the year awards from me after yesterday.  We had an awful start and then an awful end to our day.  I work on Thursday nights and DH has to do bedtime.  He picked our LO up from his parents and when he got in, our LO was a wreck.  I said we should just start dinner and get the bedtime routine going.  So I got dinner ready and started getting ready to leave the house myself.  At 5:45, I was getting ready to walk out the door and our LO was melting down on the floor while DH was making himself dinner.   I was ready to kill him, as our LO should have been in bed by that point.  I picked up our LO, handed him to DH, turned off the burner on the stove, and instructed him to get him into bed.  So our LO wasn't sleeping until 6:20/6:30.  DH wasn't sure.

We had a NW'ing around 1.  We didn't need to go in, since our LO settled himself.  But he was obviously OT.  He was stirring around 5:45, but didn't get up until 6.

We are going to be out this morning, so I still can't do a nap until 12.  It would be great if he would take a 2 hour nap though.  I know I am writing a thread about cutting, but he doesn't seem caught up.

[Mashi]

Sorry the evening went so crappy Kara.  But, to be honest, it doesn't sound like the fall back form it was so bad. Yes, an NW but he settled himself which is perfect.  Maybe wasn't even from OT as it seems like a strange time for an OT nightwaking, could have just been one of those random ones that "happens" and he didn't even realise he was awake, kwim?  And up at 6....that's an 11.5 hour night. 

So after a 1hr nap, an 11.5 hour night is 12.5 h -- which is what you were thinking may be his optimal amount (at one time at least that is what you were thinking...I think?!)

I don't think I would let him do 2h today -- 1.5 should be enough...otherwise you're setting yourself up for a 10.5-11 hour night tonight.   At least I would suspect....

[babybarr]

Oh Hun, I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday.  If you think he needs the sleep - give it to him.  Only you can be the judge, but a word of caution - he did do an 11.5hr night so you don't want a long nap and then another crappy / short night cos he's had too much sleep kwim?  I think I would be tempted to do something in the middle - maybe a 1.5hr nap with the option of a 6.30pm bed if he's struggling but aiming for a 7pm bed.

We actually had a good night last night.  This is after 2 days of an hr and 15min naps at 11.45 (bearing in mind we do 6.30pm bedtime anyway)  2 Days ago I woke him after 1.25hrs, yesterday he woke himself at that time (which TBH is what I'd rather!)  My mu has instructions to do the same again today - so we'll see!

Let me know what you decide.  BTW you're doing an amazing job.  It is SO hard with a low sleep needs toddler.  People who have LOs that do good naps don't know the half of it!

i was typing the same time as Mashi - looks like great minds eh??

[MLK]

Kara and Laura if you want a long night then I'd go with a 1hr nap, 1hr 15 tops. I've had a friend whose toddler stopped napping altogether at 18 months and had a 11.5 to 12 hour night. She was always very low sleep needs, even as a baby my poor friend was always trying to get her to go to sleep but she accepted the short sleep after a while.

[mmom]

Ladies, this is why I love you girls.  I need others' perspectives. You are all right in that it was a good night, despite how the day went.  I think you are all right in that I need to limit that nap.  Thanks.  

Mashi, the NW could be teeth I guess.  His canines are coming down, as well as a few other ones. I just assumed it was OT because of how bad the day was yesterday.

Laura, I am SO glad that your LO is doing well!  You deserve a break.

[Mashi]

It could have been teeth, or it could have just been one of those things.  Humans naturally wake at many points in the night, roll over and go back to sleep without realising it.  With LOs who are noisy sleepers, it could have just been one of those types of moments...woke for no reason other than that he did.  I had to accept these a long time ago - DS wakes, I hear him moan, or yawn, occassionally giggle (which stresses me out as I fear he's starting a party!) and then 20 seconds later, nothing.  I don't count these as NWs!

[*Becky*]

Mashi - that happened to us last night! Normally if DS wakes it is a cry or a shout and then back to sleep but this am I heard him talk and laugh for about 5 seconds and it freaked me out!!!! I could not get back to sleep after it as had all these thoughts racing through my mind. He has never done that before. I am convinced it was because we put a new toy in his bed last night and he was chatting to it (sigh!)
Sorry - just had to post x

[babybarr]

Laura, I am SO glad that your LO is doing well!  You deserve a break.

Well a 45min nap today!!!  I'm guessing it's because he had such a good night and maybe I should've told my mum to push the nap back a bit more.  So what do you think - earlyish bed and then fingers crossed he sleeps well 2 nights in a row and I can go back to the plan???

[mmom]

Your plan sounds good.  Hopefully, bedtime goes smoothly!

[babybarr]

Hi Kara, what happened with the nap and how was your night?

We had NW - what I call his insomnia epsiodes, where he's just awake - from 12.30am for at least an hour.  I guess it could be nap related but TBH he can do this any day good or bad!  I'm hoping for an hr and 15min nap agin but who knows with DS.  What are settling on today?

[mmom]

Laura, I am sorry about your NW'ing.  I hope you get good nap today!!

Yesterday looked like this:
wake- 6
nap - 12:15-1:45
bed 7
wake this morning 5:40

So, what do I make of this wake up time?  Is the A too short before bed?  Do I cut the nap a little more?  Or do I give it another day or 2 to see if we get the same kind of pattern?

[babybarr]

Is the A too short before bed?  Do I cut the nap a little more?

I reckon it could be either of the above!!  Sorry not much help!  I think on that basis I would decide that I wanted the earlier bed and therefore would cut the nap.  BUT you also made a good point as to whether to give it a few days. The worry there though is that you're then back into the EWs and potential OT.  What would happen if the nap was slightly earlier but still 1.5hrs?  Or do you think he'd short nap - I know we get that a lot!

[mmom]

I have no idea what he would do with an earlier nap.  I think I decided, whether it makes sense or not, to keep that nap around the same time every day.  At least we have consistency in some area.  So even though he woke at 5:40, I am aiming for a nap at 12:15.  That may backfire, but I am going for it.  He has been napping at that exact time for over a week now.  Granted, his wake ups have been slightly later.  I just don't know how much you can tell from one night.

[*Liz*]

This post is really interesting ladies - only noticed it after I had posted about my own sorry state of affairs  .

I know J is quite a bit younger than your lo's but he is doing something odd. He is only sleeping 12-12.5hrs in a day, whereas 2 mths ago it was 13.5 hrs. He seems to have had a real drop in total sleep needs which I know is early at 15ish mths when it first started happening.

Now (Before Lucy reminds me  ) J is not a bad napper at all. If the A is right he really will sleep absolutely fine, but he does need a very long A to be properly tired to do this. Yesterday I got my first nap over 1.25hrs in a while - and that was after 6.25hrs A. But then he only did 10.25hrs at nigght after it so I got an even worse EW than when he was short napping  .

But 1.25hr naps really don't seem to be cutting it here - he is very volatile with bad behaviour for a lot of the afternoon. I think he needs a more restorative nap - so I guess what you guys would say is that if I want the 2hr nap I need to keep the long A to bed as well and accept a 10.5hr night?