17.5 months - how much do I cut the nap?

[mmom]

Liz, I wouldn't even know how to advise because I am clueless myself.  However, the only thing I do know is that you don't know if something works until you try it.  So you could try the longer nap, with the longer A before bed and see if that works for you.  If the shorter nights are ok, then it would be worth a shot.  But if you want a longer night, maybe you could push the morning A more and have a really short A before bed if J isn't handling it well.

As for me, what I am worried about is that my LO's needs are less than 12.5.   A month ago, that is what they were and now that he is almost 18 months and their needs supposedly drop more, I am worried that I am expecting too much with the 12.5.  I don't quite know what is the right combo for him.

[babybarr]

As for me, what I am worried about is that my LO's needs are less than 12.5.

Ditto, I think we may have 12hrs here  
We got an hr nap 11.45-12.45, he was shattered for bed so asleep by 6.20ish - normal time is 6.30pm for us....

Liz, yes from our point of view if you want the 2hr nap then shorter night or that is what we get anyway!

[mmom]

We got a 1 hour 20 minute nap, which I know normally means OT.  I guess we are aiming for a 6:30 bedtime, which is a 5 hour A.  But I am getting nervous, that will mean a 5:30 wake.  DH wants to push until 7, but that is risky too because we could get an even earlier waking.  I really wish I could figure this out!

[babybarr]

We got a 1 hour 20 minute nap, which I know normally means OT

I know with DS "normal" nap time rules don't apply - if that's any help!  I know that the 45mins nap we had previously were UT, and anyway surely you don't want much more than that any way?

Hope you're night works out.  I think I would try the 7pm bedtime anyway and see what happens...

[Mashi]

We got a 1 hour 20 minute nap, which I know normally means OT.  I guess we are aiming for a 6:30 bedtime, which is a 5 hour A.  But I am getting nervous, that will mean a 5:30 wake.  DH wants to push until 7, but that is risky too because we could get an even earlier waking.  I really wish I could figure this out!

Kara if his A times are stretching, he may be able to handle more than 5h on a 1hr20 nap even if it is an OT nap.  DS here is now on 6h after a 1.5h nap and if we get an OT nap he still does 5.5 until bed.  And I don't think my LO is low sleep needs, so if yours is, then he can prob handle it....just a thought. 

[mmom]

Thanks Mashi.  I guess I was thinking a shorter  A, since the A before the nap is so long?  Is that what is getting my into trouble right now?  Short  A's before bed? 
Yesterday:
wake - 5:40
nap - 12 - 1:20
bed - 6:40
wake this morning 5:20 

For weeks we had 6/6:30 wake ups and now we are getting earlier and earlier.  I don't know where to go at this point.  I really need suggestions please!

[Mashi]

What are you doing when he wakes early....remember a few months ago when this all started, you started working on not getting him up when he woke, but doing what you could to keep him in his room until 6am?  Are you still doing that, or are you getting him up?

[babybarr]

I think yesterday it wasn't a long enough A time till bed.  We get EWs with that.  How did he wake this morning was he grumpy or raring to go?

Kara is the plan 1.5hrs at 12 then 7pm bed?  Just so I'm clear.

[mmom]

Mashi, yes we are still leaving him.  For example, I didn't get him until 6:30 ish this morning.  It was a little after.

Laura, I didn't have a plan.   I guess I was just seeing how the nap went.  I made an assumption (apparently the wrong one, which isn't new!) that since it was an OT nap, that I should go with an earlier bedtime.  But both mornings that we have had shorter A's the night before, he was woken early and chatting.  That is what I hear him doing - chatting away.

[babybarr]

Hun you're doing a great job with an unpredictable LO!  Believe me I know how you can tangle your mind in knots trying to do the right thing and then it backfires! Well at least now you know and every "wrong" move helps in the long run

I think with my DS that his nap needs to be at least an hr but no more than around 1.25hrs.  Then I'm doing 5.25hrs with a shorter nap and 5.5hrs with the longer nap.  This is at least the idea anyway!!  I wonder if you can make some sort of guidelines for yourself rather than having to think on your feet and worrying each day.  I know that having some fixed plan / structure helps me not to get quite so frustrated - well most of the time!!!!

[*Liz*]

At this point what I tend to do is a pretty fixed bedtime in the sense that 6.30pm is the earliest I am prepared to go regardless of how bad the nap. But usually it is 5-5.5hrs I suppose. I did 4.75hrs after a long nap 2 days ago and it gave me a horrid EW  .

I do wonder if 5 hrs is too short now as well.

Do you have a certain time you need your lo to wake-up by for daycare in the week? I try and work backwards with J so essentially he needs a 7.30pm - 6.30am night period.

I think I am going to try and keep a 1.5-2hr nap and have a shorter night though if J won't do both anymore as for now he seems happier after a restful sleep during the day.

[mmom]

Thanks ladies.  I don't have day care issues. I just can't take a wake up earlier than 6.  On the weekends, it is torture.  I think that would mean a 7 pm bedtime for me.  But with a 5:20 waking, I don't know how to get there.  I was able to get good naps with a 6 hour A and that meant a nap around noon, only because my LO was waking around 6.  Now that I think about it, he was doing 6 hours on either side of the nap before the last couple of days when I gave him early bedtimes.  He was also sleeping more at night when he had longer A's.  Then again, he was also sleeping 6:30 - 6 when we had bad days.  He would just sleep more at nights.  So I really have no idea.

I guess I will aim for a nap around 11:30, since that is a 6 hour A.  Then no matter what, I will stretch the last A to at least get a 6:30 bedtime?  Grrrr.....this is frustrating.

[*Liz*]

I guess I will aim for a nap around 11:30, since that is a 6 hour A.  Then no matter what, I will stretch the last A to at least get a 6:30 bedtime?  Grrrr.....this is frustrating.

TBH that is what I do - not perfect BW - but a compromise that I can live with. Also when I do work the earliest bedtme I can manage is 7pm so there seems little point going much earlier than that as come monday morning he ends up with a mega A and OT bedtime.

((hugs)) I can't bear earlier than 6am either. Makes me irrationally angry.

[mmom]

Here was today:
wake - 5:20
nap - 11:30 - 1
sleep - 6:45 or so.  I think he stopped wiggling by then.  It was a party when I first put him in his crib.  I didn't think it was OT related.  I am not sure if he wasn't ready to go to bed or I am just wrong and it was OT.  But he seemed fine all afternoon and didn't even look ready when I put him down.  But he was down by 6:15.

[babybarr]

If he was having a party then I would say UT.  But he did a 1.5hr nap and then only had a 5.25 A time.  I'm guessing you'll have another EW but hoping you'll prove me wrong!