Author Topic: Help! New to BW & new mommy  (Read 1761 times)

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Offline mom2myMMS

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Help! New to BW & new mommy
« on: January 13, 2010, 23:26:21 pm »
Hello Everyone-

I'd like to start by saying thank you to many of you who don't even realize how much you've helped me already!  I am new to the BW method and have been lurking on this site reading FAQs for a couple months now and have learned so much.  I've been trying to do this on my own, but am now waving the white flag...PLEASE HELP!

I have a spirited-angel baby who is 5.5 month who has yet to sleep through the night...he did it once, on Christmas...it was a WONDERFUL Christmas present, but never again.  The basic problem is he wakes frequently after going to bed, several times throughout the night and now just started with EW.  It seems that if he takes good naps, he sleeps even worse and vice versa.  I have been logging everything and will be happy to provide more information if someone is willing to help.

Thank you in advance-

Offline Shiv52

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2010, 23:42:25 pm »
Hello and welcome!!!


Do you want to post what your day normally looks like?  If you can do it in EAS format, that'd be great!

Few other qus:

Does your LO go to sleep independently?  Use a dummy?
How have you been getting him back to sleep when he has NWs?


{{{hugs}}}

I found 4-6 months a very frustrating time in terms of sleep but it does get better xx





Offline mom2myMMS

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2010, 12:52:18 pm »
Once he turned 3 months we started with the BW method.  Prior to that he slept with us and during that time he would only wake for feedings.  Since we've transferred him to his crib he wakes all the time.  I have been using the shh pat and PU/PD methods described in the books.  Generally we don't have to use PU/PD as he calms down with the shh pat.  He does use a nuki, but if it falls out he generally doesn't wake up or care.

Typical day:

Wake Up:  6...used to be 7-7:30, earlier time started in the last week
E:  6:15-6:20
A:  Total time...2-2.25 hours
S:  8:30...total time 2.5 hours for a good nap otherwise he wakes after 1 hour
Y

E:  11
A:  Total time...2.25 hours
S:  1:15...total time 1.25 hours
Y

E:  2:30
A:  Total time...2 hours
S:  4:30...total time 30 minutes
A:  5
Y

E:  5:30
A:  Total time...1.25 hours
Bedtime:  7:15...this was recently moved up from 7:30 with no change in sleep habits
Y

*From this point on he generally wakes up every 20-30 minutes after going to bed.  This continues for 1-1.5 hours.
**I can't say his night wakings are habitual because he doesn't wake at the exact same time each night.  The first waking is around 1:30ish.  He then wakes up around 2:30/3:30 and 4/5.  I did try the wake to sleep method and it didn't work.  I think partly because he doesn't wake up at the same time.  I've also tried feeding him and while he will take a full feed, he still wakes up within an hour or so.

We will be starting him on solids at the end of the month, which makes me nervous because everything I've read says he'll sleep even worse, which I don't know how it can get any worse! 

I hope I answered all your questions.  I'm willing to try any and all suggestions!

TIA!

Offline Shiv52

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2010, 00:52:11 am »
Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. 

Had a good look.  Do you think your LO is ready for a tad more A time?  He seems to be getting a decent amount of day sleep.  His naps look great!

Here's a link I always rely on when trying to spot problems:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.msg476652#msg476652

At 5.5-6 months A time can be 2.25-2.5.  Am wondering if your LO is needing a slight increase.   If he wasn't getting good daytime sleep I generally think at this age NWs are due to being OT but I'm thinking your LO needs more A time in the day.  NWs can also be due to not enough A time so they start to make up for it during the night.  By stretching your A time slightly I think he be tireder going to bed and hopefully you'll get your 7am start back!

Does that make sense? 

So maybe try 2.25 for your first A time and if he has a lovely long nap, try 2.5 for the next A time and see how he goes?  I would be reluctant to push the first A time just yet until the NWs decrease a bit.

Any chance he's teething? 

HTH

Siobhan x





Offline mom2myMMS

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2010, 05:07:13 am »
It's funny you mention the A time as I was wondering that myself and recently increased it to 2 hours, which did help with his naps, but I will start working on gradually increasing it a little bit more.

He has also started missing his evening nap.  It's only happened three times in the last week or two, but I know this may be another change that could be starting, which will affect his sleeping.  It seems like there are so many things that could be causing it, it's so overwhelming!  I don't think he's teething as he doesn't have any "bumps" on his gums, but who knows.

I have to say last night was probably by far the worst night ever.  He woke up 7 times from 11:30-5:45 at which point he started all out crying.  I know frequent wakings could also be related to hunger, so I did feed him at 2:30, and while he did take a full feed it didn't affect how long he stayed asleep.  I ended up feeding him at 6 and then he was up.

I really appreciate your suggestions and support!  I'll let you know how it goes with increasing his A time tomorrow and in the days to come.

Thanks!

Offline Shiv52

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2010, 22:14:54 pm »
Sorry you'd such a rough night hun. 

I do think the push in A time should help iron things out for you both.  I found my LO refused the catnap before I realised she needed more A time and once I pushed it out a bit she started to take it again. 

Can I ask do you breast feed?  Its not unusual for a bf baby to still take a night feed at 5-6 months.  I know my LO did.  The other thing I found was my LO hit a pretty big growth spurt just before she turned 6 months (she grew 3cm and put on a load of weight in a week).  Just keep an eye out if he seems particularly hungry he may have hit the 6 month growth spurt.

Hope the increase in A time helps.  Keep me posted and I'll see do I come up with anything else if things don't even out xx






Offline mom2myMMS

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2010, 15:55:41 pm »
Okay...things are now a disaster.  I need some major help.  Everything started out great...I was making the gradual change to increase A time and DS came down with a cold, which I eventually caught and now everything is a mess.  Something has to change.  My DH wants to try CIO or CC methods, which I adamantly disagree with, but we are getting NO sleep, which is why I think I've been so sick (2 ear infections, RSV, sinus infection, and strep)...luckily DS didn't get anything but a little cold...I'm plain exhausted.  I haven't had more than 2 hour stretches of sleep in 6 months.

I think while DS and I were sick (and probably before that too) I did some accidental parenting.  I think he is now addicted to the nuki (only uses it at naps / bedtime), I also think I might be rushing in too quickly when he fusses for fear of accidentally doing the CIO or CC methods, and I don't think I've taught him how to self soothe.     

To top it off he had his 6 month check up and had inadequate weight gain...he's not considered FTT because he's still reaching his milestones and appears generally healthy, but it's something we have to watch.

Right now, DS is waking several times at night and now having long night wakes (45+ minutes), which I know are related to too short of A time.  So yesterday, I tried increasing his A time and he couldn't handle it...was whining, ended up only taking a 30 minute nap, skipped his catnap, had frequent waking after putting him down and had two 45+ night wakings last night.

HELP...where do I start?  I really want to stick with BW method, but I think I'm at a crossroad and need to see some improvement quick.  I have been tracking his EASY, but still see no improvement.

Offline Tweakster

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2010, 20:28:57 pm »
HI there, big hugs it sounds pretty dreadful to be honest.  All those illnesses and no sleep.  So big big hugs!

Not all NW are related to a too short A time, they can mean OT as well.  They can also be due to teething and other discomforts.  Discomforts often manifest more for LO's at night, they are not as distracted by 'the world' and have time to think 'hey my gums hurt'.

So I will try to help you out, your last routine post was quite a while ago so let's have a look at what he's doing now.

APOP when you are sick is ok, we just have to find out how best to wean it and get you all some sleep!
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Offline mom2myMMS

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2010, 22:21:18 pm »
Hi Wendy...thanks for taking the time to help me.  Sorry for the long post.

A few things have changed since my last post.  I was finally able to nip the long NWs in the bud...he's no longer doing that although he does continue to wake frequently.  But now his naps are a mess.  He only sleeps for about 30 minutes after which he is wide awake.  I let him lay in there until he's crying (still not sure I'm waiting long enough before going in) and try to put my hand on his chest and I end up trying to get him to sleep for the next hour and he rarely goes back to sleep.  He's generally happy even with the short naps but he has started whining lately...I'm assuming it is because he's OT.

Here's yesterday's schedule:

E  7:00 BF
E  8:00 Solids
A  Total time:  2:45
S  9:45 Total time:  30 minutes...he woke at 10:15 so I considered him awake at 10:15 when looking at his next A time even though I was trying to get him back to sleep until 11.  I'm not sure if this is correct to do or not.

E  11:00 BF
E  12:00 Solids
A  Total time:  2:45 
S  1:00 Total time:  30 minutes  Again I tried to get him to sleep until 2:30 at which time I just let him get up.

E  3:00 BF
E  4:00 Solids
A  Total time:  3:00  I know this is probably a little long for him, but...I don't know what to do.
S  4:30 Total time:  30 minutes...he hasn't been taking the evening nap, but yesterday I think he did just because he is obviously so OT!

E  6:00 Solids
A  Total time:  2:15
E  6:45/7:00 BF
S  7:00/7:15

After this point he was waking every 30-45 minutes.  He's now waking every 60-90 minutes and sometimes not at all until about 1:00.  He then wakes again at 3:00 and 5:30...not always exactly at those time (except the 3:00 time) but generally within 30 minutes of those times.  So last night I thought since he had been waking at 3:00 on the dot for several nights that I'd do the wake to sleep method...well he woke up at 2:00 instead.  So far today he took a relatively decent morning nap...1:15...but his afternoon nap was terrible...30 minutes.  He did recently start solids and we're working on getting his BMs a little softer (by adding fibrous fruits/veggies) so I don't know if that's causing the problems.  He's never been a good sleeper at night.  He **used to** be a good napper, but I'm not really sure what happened.  I did the ** because I know used to is a key phrase which can indicate accidental parenting. ;)

TIA!

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2010, 18:15:46 pm »
HI there, I am tempted to say pull right back on A time while he's adjusting and getting out of OT loop.  He's been ill and had some adjustments to A time so I would drop the AM A time back until you have a decent nap.  A good AM nap really sets up your day.  If the AM nap goes bad the entire day seems to go belly up.  What was the last good A time that produced a decent 1.5 hour nap?

Do you suspect he's teething at all?  It sounds like some kind of discomfort.  I know you mentioned before no bumps on gums but really there doesn't have to be.  Have you offered pain meds just in case?  Those teeth shifting in there can really cause problems. 

Also has he hit the 6 mth growth spurt yet?  That sends things into a wonky spiral.

We'll try to get to the bottom of this :-)
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Offline mom2myMMS

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2010, 23:13:19 pm »
I will try decreasing his AM A time tomorrow.  He was taking decent naps when his A time was around 2:15.  Hopefully that will bring back better naps.  

This afternoon I had to run some errands and he finally fell asleep in his car seat (total A time ended up being 3:15), but he's still sleeping and it's been 1:45 so far.

I don't think he's teething, but who knows.  When you say pain meds, are you referring to Tylenol or something like oragel?  I haven't given anything just because I didn't think he was teething, but I don't think it would hurt to try it.

Also, I know I said lately he hasn't been waking up after going down at bedtime, but last night he was up 10+ times in 2 hours.  Then last night he was up at least once an hour.  I know it's not recommended to bring DS into bed with me, but I was so tired I actually woke up with him in the bed...I don't even remember bringing him in there, which scares me because if I'm that tired I could easily roll over on him and not know it.  I really need to get his sleeping under control...it's beginning to take over my life as I'm having a hard time functioning during the day.

Any pointers on what to do with the night wakings?  

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2010, 23:33:01 pm »
HI there, oh dear sorry to hear about the NW.  I would hope that by cutting back his A time and getting better naps it will help clean up the night a bit. 

I am hoping we get some more eyes on this because we are moving this weekend and our internet will be shut off some point tomorrow so don't want to leave you hanging :-)

Yes for pain meds I mean infant Tylenol or Motrin  - if he's not teething really there isn't a harm doing it but it might rule it out to be on the safe side.  But if you are uncomfortable with it or really don't think he's teething then you could really just try settling with shush/pat or some form or APOP - is there anyone else who can go in to settle him when you are that tired?  Or can you get some help in to get caught up on some sleep?  Hugs!
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Offline mom2myMMS

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2010, 23:48:22 pm »
Over the weekends I'm able to get some help with the nighttime duty.  My DH takes him Friday and Saturday nights, which really helps.

Also, I forgot to mention that last night he had a long NW (1.5 hours) which again he was doing, but it had stopped for a little bit.  We'll see if he does that again tonight.

I'm willing to try giving him some infant Tylenol to see if it helps.  If he's really teething, but hasn't sprouted the bump just yet, it should help.

Thanks for your help and good luck with your move!

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Re: Help! New to BW & new mommy
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2010, 08:42:16 am »
When your LO wakes in the night what do you have to do to get him back to sleep?

NWings this frequently seem like either a prop issue or discomfort to me - a pure routine issue wouldn't usually be the only cause although it could be contributing (OT at the moment for example)

Are you having feeding problems or just a patch of poor weight gain?