He never cried before I started EASY...feeling a bit bad

[Chicane]

Started EASY to get him off boob as sleep prop. He was never a crier before, so chilled and rolled with it, I could literally count on one hand the times he had cried all out. He has cried more in the last 3 days then in the total 3 1/2 months of his life. He starts to cry when I get to the sitting of the 4s wind down, then cries through shh/pat...mostly I get him calm and asleep eventually...this is the right way isn't it?

[sherrydl]

Just wanted to send some support. I could have written the exact same post about 4 weeks ago. I started sleep training (sh/pt) with my now 14 week old as he was addicted to sleeping with the boob. He cried a lot at first but now he now can go to sleep on his own in his crib and STTN twice (more often one or two wakings per night but using the sh/pt to get him back to sleep. also still working on extending naps during the day).

My LO never seemed to cry before EASY too. I felt terrible when I first started. Just know that it gets better and you're doing him a huge favour by teaching him to sleep independently. I had to keep telling myself that it would work and it will. It's just really hard at the beginning. You're not hurting him, he's just frustrated because he's not getting what he's used to. It really is a gift to allow him to sleep on his own, it's just hard work at the beginning.

Also, as a word of advice, I ended up in some more AP by keeping him on my shoulder for too long (he got used to falling asleep there). Try moving to sh/pt in the crib as much as possible or as soon as possible.

Good luck! Stick with it. You're doing the right thing!

[Chicane]

Thank you! I needed this message right now. Its slowly getting better. Tonight he didn't cry! Am starting on shoulder and moving him into crib. A few times he's had fallen asleep before he hits the crib but the last few times I'm sure he is still awake because most times when I roll him over onto his back he opens his eyes pulls a face and I roll him back on his side to shh/pat again...then roll him back over...mostly he tosses a bit and i stroke between his eyes. Then hand on chest I keep shhhing until he is off. ...Is that okay? I don't want to create another prop...

[sherrydl]

Hi.
I'm new at this too so a moderator will probably be better suited to answer your questions more specifically. But the general principle is to do less and allow your LO to do more on his own (this I didn't really get at first). As an example I used to sh/pt on my shoulder and then started doing more of it in the crib, then patting until he fell asleep, then I would only pat when he was actually upset (not mantra crying) and just put my hand on him during mantra crying, then I started removing my hand before he fell asleep, then I would try just standing at the crib not touching him. It's a bit hit and miss to figure out what my LO is ready for but the idea is to just help out enough and to continually pull back as the LO can do more on his own. That's the way to prevent creating a prop (I think).

Another thing that got me through the crying was to remember that in addition to teaching sleep, you're also teaching your LO how to handle frustration. This is an important life skill as he makes he way through life! A helpful saying I heard is "parenting is not about preventing your kids from falling down. It's teaching them how to get back up when they do". I think that one of the best principles of BW is teaching independence.

So just hang in there. It will get better!

[Chicane]

O my gosh - thank you - that is such a great thing to hear about helping them to get back up...I think it will become my mantra cry!

[*Jo*]

Hi ladies! well i think dlsherry has hit it right on the head! I totally agree with everything she said.

The reason for the crying is that you are doing things differently and your little one is basically saying "I dont understand what you are doing, this isnt how we normally do things, whats going on?" so its a protest because lets face it, wouldnt you wanna fall asleep snug as a bug in your mamas arms??? and hes had that and now things are changing. but as dlsherry said, its for the better! I have a fantastic amazing sleeper because of the efforts i put in when Caleb was little. I remember it was so hard at first and I kept thinking "one day this will be easy" well guess what, it is! thats not to say we dont ahve some bad days but 95% of them are fantastic, he sleeps independantly, he sleeps 11-12 hours straight at night without waking up once unless in pain. what you are doing now will definatley be worth it when all other parents are crying out for help that their 1 year olds are still being rocked/fed/whatever to sleep and yours goes down without a fight and its then that you will know every single tear that was shed was worth it to have this happy, healthy, content little baby

Keep up the good work!

[TamV]

Hi there! Just wanted to tell you I know how you feel!! I have just started EASY with my 4 month old and I've never heard him cry so much! He would fall asleep in a heartbeat with a paci or back to sleep after eating in the middle of the night. Since I decided it was time to start Easy and take away props he is not a happy boy at bed/naptime.
What is helping me this time is that I've been through this before! My first baby never fell asleep off the breast until I started her on EASy and did PU/PD at 5months. At 4 years-old she's still the best sleeper!! It took about two weeks for her to really get with the program and sleep well, but since then I've never had a problem with her sleep through vacations, time changes, even an overseas move!!

Keep up the good work!