Author Topic: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old  (Read 1256 times)

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Offline kaynay

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HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« on: February 03, 2010, 04:20:01 am »
our 4.5 mo is great by day---takes 2 x 1.5 and 1 x 45 min cat nap in the day, is awake about 2 hrs 15 min, eats every 3 hrs 45 mins 6 -7 oz has a 12-13 hour day tops,goes down independently on all naps and bedtime, put himself back to sleep on all nap transitions...sounds like a dream? WRONG come midnight he gets out of his swaddle, keeps himself up on and off until about 2 am he is all over the crib upside down and all around wedged in corners finally at 3 am I intervene as that is when crying starts for the first time very unhappy, rewrap him he goes right back to sleep just to awake at 430 am not necessarily hungry to eat a full feed but he doesnt DF so I feed him then he wakes at 7 so basically I am up all night as he sleep in his crib in our room and go back to work next week what to do?

I have tried to leave him unwrapped as long as I can in the night until he cries out, prior to that I was reswaddling him 3 times a night he is just breaking out of it now...for naps we have tried to experiment with an arm out and it is a disaster...WHEN WILL THIS end? When will he be ok unswaddled I cannot live the night awake from midnight on and off til 2-3 am then 430 then up at 7?

His days are golden his easy is perfect he is a total independent sleeper in day--swaddled of course?

HELP!

Offline kaynay

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2010, 04:10:15 am »
help please going on 2 weeks NO SLEEP nights!

Offline kaynay

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2010, 18:57:34 pm »
awake 7ish
eat 730 bf (doesnt take a whole lot but does eat since he ate around 5 am)
sleep 930-1115
eat 1115 7-7.5 oz expressed bm
sleep 130-330
eat 330 7-7.5 oz expressed bm
sleep--lately has been resisting or is totally wide awake and wont take end of day cat nap if he has a cat nap it is 6-630
eat 7 8 oz expressed bm
sleep 730
starts stirring around 1 am getting out of swaddle huffs and puffs and sucks his hands and moves all over crib his head hitting crib rails til about 3 when I intervene and reswaddle then he goes back to sleep til about
430ish is light sleep fussing then
I feed him at 5 he sleeps til 7/730 if the night is worse meanign harder for him to resettle after reswaddle he will wake earlier
he has always been able to handle longer A times he is a month ahead of that for instance at the beginning of his 4th month he was an even 2 hours now we are apporaching mid 4th month he is 2.5 hours---his naps are good, he eats great, is on 4 hr easy wont eat any earlier if he does only takes 4-5 oz in bottle I cant believe his A times are short if I put him down at 2 hr 15 he will religiously take a funky nap like 1 hr 15 min as opposed to 2 hour and with 4 hour and sometimes 4.5 hour easy that does not work he takes big feeds at his bottle I estimate he gets about 21-23 oz via bottles expressed bm and then he has 2 bfs early am and am that probably average 5-7 so he is close to 28-30oz bm a day
last night we wrapped him tight and with 2 blankets over his swaddle he slept better went down 730 stirred at 330 moaning and drifted off to sleep here and there til 445 then I just fed him as he would have gone all night but his arms were not out...he went back to sleep and I had to wake him at 745! the swaddle he is def dependent on when do I wean he is obviously not ready but is very mobile in it and keeps hitting his head on the crib rails am I supposed to move him? am i supposed to reswaddle him? am i supposed t wait an hour to do so or let him moan and drift in and out of sleep for an hour plus?

Offline kaynay

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2010, 19:00:36 pm »
correction second nap is closer to 145-345 or sometimes 4 not 130-330

Offline ~Sara~

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2010, 05:53:39 am »
Hi there :)

I think it's time to try weaning the swaddle.  It sounds like it's disrupting his sleep more than it's helping...at least during the night.  Days sound okay still.  You can have the perfect routine (A times and S times), but if a LO is outgrowing the swaddle, then it can mess with anything.

I know the gradual weaning works well for many moms/LOs.  For us, it didn't.  We had to go cold turkey, and it took a good 3 days of being strict with the no swaddling.  We had the reverse of your situation: bad naps with it, but good night sleep even with breaking out of the swaddle (except towards the end of the time we used it, and we were resettling a few times a night).

If you're constantly going in and you know he's only awake because he's out of the swaddle, then I think it's time to wean.  It will be a rough few days, but you'll be happier when you have a fully 100% independent sleeper on your hands.  LO will learn to self-soothe, and he'll sleep better and be happier, too :)
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Offline kaynay

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2010, 04:24:24 am »
the wean is scary to me now we have him back with 2 blankets over his swaddle and he sleeps thru the night...he is less mobile when he is tightly wrapped before we didnt wrap him as tight thus thinking we were weaning him but he busted out but being tightly wrapped he just loves it...yikes I guess I took some steps backward than forward he is 4.5 months old I guess I have a little bit more time to wean him some folks here are 7.5 mos and still swaddled I never thought that would be me then again I never thought I would still be swaddled as my first didnt need it and sttn the night early on without it...the second I swaddle him he just calms down and smiles and just loves to go to sleep for naps and at bedtime I actually think he could fall asleep without it but I know he will wake and be very confused...so you went COLD TURKEY man how did you LO settle? ours just screams and cries and flails and wonders why he isnt asleep yet even with one arm out sometime he will fall asleep with one arm out and only sleep 20 mins! I mean if he now breaks out of the 2 blankets I am in real trouble but I go back to work next week and HAVE TO SLEEP maybe I do the weaning over a weekend? someone else advised they weaned over a few weeks...I think we will try once a week a half day and see how he does starting now...I thought I had this great independent sleeper but BW never mentions that swaddling is a PROP?? Why all the independent sleep teaching on BW just to say we should swaddle swaddle swaddle no one ever says that could be a PROP?!

Offline ~Sara~

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2010, 04:55:50 am »
Well, there's a fine line with the swaddle.  Technically, yes, you're right...it IS a prop.  But let's consider how it's used and LO's response to it.  Babies go through a series of jolts as they drift off to sleep (in those first 15-20 minutes of light sleep), and during those first couple of months, they don't know that they can sleep through those.  All they know is that their arms and legs are flailing--they don't know it's themselves, and it disturbs them.  They have no control over that.  This is when swaddling is more considered a tool to help them sleep.  It helps keep their bodies more snug so that they can continue to drift off into dreamland :) 

Eventually, though, they DO get control over their arms and legs. They start bringing their hands to their faces, kicking around...I'm sure you've seen your LO exploring this when he's playing.  Then, they can get strong enough to break out of the swaddle and can start to wake-up and fuss if they're not swaddled.  When they're not waking up for any other reason but to be reswaddled, then that's when it's become a prop.

That's how I make the distinction in my mind.

You're right.  There are moms whose LOs truly need to be swaddled longer.  I was one of those; but only because I needed to wait until DS got through the 45 minute naps that I had to extend every time.  He needed the swaddle to sleep because he would jolt and squirm.  Nothing else we did worked to extend his naps save using httj and the swaddle.  Once again, during this time, it was a tool...like shh/pat (which can also become a prop if allowed to be used past its need, can it not?).

But, I think you've probably done everything else to make sure the wakings weren't a routine issue, a developmental issue/milestone, or a health issue (like teething).  I think you've got the feeling that it's just time now :)  We got that feeling, too.

Yes, we went cold turkey.  I had a feeling that a gradual weaning wouldn't work bc DS was already getting out of the swaddle, so it ended up being the same thing, iyswim.  We went through 2-3 days of short naps and an earlier bedtime.  We used a sleep sack so that he was still warm enough and we put that into the wind down routine where swaddling had been.  We also used PU/PD because shh/pat only made him angry (if your LO can get by with shh/pat, that's great).

You just have to be in the right mindset.  You have to know that it will--could--be hard.  That way, when it is hard, you're prepared.  And if he surprises you and he adjusts well, then even more wonderful!

If your LO is not used to the sensation of his arm being out of the swaddle (and you not putting it back in for him), then, yes, he will probably wake up during his nap time.  It takes a bit for them to learn the new way of doing things.  He will learn how he likes to settle.  Maybe introduce a lovey?  Maybe he will suck his fingers?  Our LO pulled up the extra fabric on his sleep sack and sucked on that.

I would say that if you're going to do this, to start it as soon as you can before going back to work.  It might take longer than a weekend...it might not.  There's no way I can tell how your LO will respond.  But when/if you make the decision to wean the swaddle, we'll be here to help and offer our support :)

Have you had a chance to look through the Props board and the FAQs to get some ideas?

P.S. If you have "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems," on pages 182-183 Tracy talks about using the swaddle.  She herself recognizes that it is a need-based technique.  She recommends starting to wean ~3-4 months...IF your baby needs it to be weaned then.  On the flip side, she also realizes that some LOs need to be swaddled as long as 7-8 months.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2010, 05:03:39 am by ~Sara~ (aka tersaseda) »
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Offline SThompson

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2010, 21:05:10 pm »
Well said Sara.  Great advice.

Good Luck Kaynay and keep us posted on how you make out.

Offline kaynay

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Re: HELP with NW 4.5 mo old
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2010, 18:57:43 pm »
hi guys---thanks a LOT...so far still swaddled he gets wedged in side of crib a few times a night and I move him...he loves it so and I know I need to wean he is 4.5 mos but he loves it so...he can fall asleep without it he just cant go back to sleep and will only nap 30 mins...I am worried that he will get used to taking short naps is that true? Also at night he will wake every 30 mins if unswaddled and am worried about the EW with it...seriously I dont know how I can work 40 hours a week, have a toddler and be up if he isnt swaddled is there any way in the world he will just get used to his hands and arms himself and what age does that usually happen? he is happy with his hands and fingers in the day why not at night and during nap transitions?