11 Month old never slept for more than 4 hours...HELP!!! See ideas...

[seasprite]

Hi, this is my first post, so thanks for reading. I discovered Tracy with my first son who is now 6. We also have a 4 yr old. Anyway, I haven't slept for more than 4 hours (in a block) in 2 years. Due to a chronic cough,(now thankfully gone), being pregnant and having a baby! Yes, I know this is my own doing but it is time to stop as I keep getting ill !

 Basically James (who is 11months old), wakes through the night. I accepted this as a young baby and even until about 6 months but somehow it has dragged on without us tackling the problem properly.You can probably guess why...I breast feed him every time he wakes! Eeeek. The extreme tiredness made it easiest option, fool that I am! We have tried controllled crying and it is too awful, so am keen to do pick up/ put down. However, I haven't done this with an older baby so could you look at my ideas and comment please as I really want to get this right. At present the routine is;

E- 7am breast milk on waking
A- 7.15
E- 8am breakfast (not hungry, wonder why!)
A-8.30-10
S-10-11.30
E-11.30 breast milk
A-11.45-12.30
E-12.30 lunch (sometimes later, and then it drags on)
A-1-1.15
S-1.15-2.30 (usually have to wake for school run so have tried going down later at 3.30 but he only sometimes sleeps as overtired/ noisy boys in house?)
(E- None! usually has to wait until after school run at about 3.30 OR if put to bed at 3.30 I feed him first....not good!)
A-2.30-3.15 school run
E- 3.30/4 'ish breast milk
A-4-5.30
E-5.30 Dinner; quite hungry by now and usually ready a bit earlier.
A-6.15 Bath etc.
S-7.15/7.30 Sleep, breastmilk and put in awake.

So I can see some areas for improvement but with two other children, and school runs it is not possible. (I think).

Action/Solution; Get baby to sleep through night, stop breastfeeding in night.
So from what I can gather I need to; Reassurance by patting when lying or just saying "sleep time now" when he wakes and cries. (he cries at night but doesn't stand). Do I pick him up? He sometimes cries in the day too, do I do the same? He did have the ability to get himself to sleep from a very early age, but I have mucked it up. Could someone please tell me what to do??
 Do I stay in the room and pat him or stand there. Do I get a blow up bed in there and stay in the night for a few nights (scary prospect as may be the new prop!) HELP.... just to reiterate he has never ever ever slept through the night. In fact the best nights sleep was his first night.
 I probably should put more detail but I have run out of steam now and sure you must have too. Thanks for listening . x 

 

[Tweakster]

Hi there, welcome to BW!  I am happy to hear that BW has worked for you in the past    Let's see what we can do to help James.

You can probably guess why...I breast feed him every time he wakes! Eeeek. The extreme tiredness made it easiest option, fool that I am! We have tried controllled crying and it is too awful, so am keen to do pick up/ put down.

Well you already know that BF is a prop.  He is not using it for sustenance at this point, he's using it to get himself back to sleep.  So yes, it needs to go if you want a true independent sleeper    CC is not something in line with BW or Tracy's methods, it is felt that it breaks the trust with your LO.  We do not leave LO to 'cry' on his own.  That said, at 11 mths you need to be able to distinguish between his various cries...there are 'I need you' cries vs. a mantra or self-settling cry. 

The first thing that stands out in your routine is that he is possibly getting too much day sleep and at the wrong times.
He is entering something known as the 2-1, it typically begins around 10 mths and continues until LO is on one nap, that can be 12 - 18 mths.  They drop some sleep needs but are not able to cope being on one nap just yet.  So we have to put a limit on how much sleep they have and when to keep nights intact.
Have a look at this link:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=163278.0

Given your restrictions with school run, it might work better for you to do long AM/short PM.  You will have to have a look at the link and let me know which you think would work best for you.

I think one of the reasons he's waking at night is because he isn't getting enough activity time.  LO's of this age group are doing between 3 - 4 hours A time, most doing the longest stretch before bedtime if they are doing a long PM nap.  He has a very short A time between naps...he's sleeping decent naps, is he an Angel or Textbook baby?  I think he's just used to being put down at that time so he goes but ideally after a long AM nap he should be able to go longer A time.

Action/Solution; Get baby to sleep through night, stop breastfeeding in night.
So from what I can gather I need to; Reassurance by patting when lying or just saying "sleep time now" when he wakes and cries. (he cries at night but doesn't stand). Do I pick him up? He sometimes cries in the day too, do I do the same? He did have the ability to get himself to sleep from a very early age, but I have mucked it up. Could someone please tell me what to do??
 Do I stay in the room and pat him or stand there. Do I get a blow up bed in there and stay in the night for a few nights (scary prospect as may be the new prop!) HELP

Yes there are two ways to go at this.  You can do PD with WI/WO or GW - given that your son is a comfort feeder and used to that personal attention from you, I think you might have better luck with GW.  It's a gentler approach if he has never slept independently.
Have a look:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

At this age most of your settling is going to be in the crib, with very little interaction and pretty much no picking up if you can get away with it.