at a loss about naps

[kayra]

well after the naps stopped being equal length it all got messy, but I think I'd stick to letting him do as long as he wants in the am since if I cut it there's no guarantee he's going to do a pm one.
Thanks so much, I hope things get sorted out with Daisy's naps too, anyone else would think 'so if they dont sleep they're not tired, what's the big deal' but in reality its such a different story!
xxx

[kayra]

so sunday am he did 1.20min nap, then after church we were able to give him 1hr nap. But the following morning he woke up almost an hour earlier then normal so monday we did 2 naps again, 1.15 each, then this morning he woke a bit earlier than usual but not as bas as yesterday. we had playgroup so we only did 1 nap but thank God he did a 2.15nap!! Truly I am so thankful for that! So tomorrow should I attempt just 1 nap again or should I stick to 2 naps? Today's 1 nap was at 1 o'clock but I think the length of the nap was due to so much stimulation at playgroup, meaning normally he'd probably be OT by that time and today he was but he was also so OS that he did the long nap. any other day i think i'd just get an OT 1.15 nap. So, should I aim for 1 nap? If I do should I aim for 12ish (considering a 6.30-7 wake up)? I'm just afraid he's going to do 1.15min which would make a 6hr afternoon A unless I try a catnap. Sorry I'm just thinking as i write, any insights appreciated

[clazzat]

It is so difficult at this point - don't need 2 naps but can't cope on 1!  We're in the same boat and it's driving me nuts.

I tend to aim for having the one nap at 12ish - we normally get 2+ hours, so we have a 4h afternoon.  The morning is 5-6h depending on wake-up.  I'm inclined to think that at this point 2 long A's is a bit much and will catch up sooner or later - if you are going for one nap, you might have to do early bed (6.30 ish) for a while to make sure that he doesn't get OT.

If you want to let him sleep as long as you like in the morning and then hope for a catnap, that's fine, but I think that more people find the very short am nap and longer lunchtime nap tends to work better as if they refuse the catnap then it is a really long A to bed (which has always led to OT NWs in this house).

[MummyToBen]

Hi Kayra,
Sorry if you've already said this - but have you tried the 20 min am and then longer pm yet?  It has worked really well for us for quite a while - yes the occasional weird day (like today!!) but generally consistant and has helped Ben to not get OT. 

We do something like

6.30 wake
10 - 10.20 nap
1.15-3.15 nap
7 pm bed.

I also did a 15 min am nap for a while which was ok, but have lengthened it again as he is teething and that extra 5 minutes seems to help 

I think that most people do find the short am, long pm works better, I think I've only seen Sabs recently do it the other way round. 

xx

[*Becky*]

I second the short am (20 min) and longer pm. We never get the 2 hours like Claire's Ben but it means that although short naps the A times are never too long so it prevents OT.

[kayra]

Thanks for all the replies I havent tried 20min am, I tried 30min but even then getting him down for the pm was a pain so I never quite had the courage to try 20min incase he flat out refused to do a pm nap. But I suppose at this stage its worth trying. Trying to decide whether to do 1 nap or 2 or alternate days etc is just so stressful for me, its impossible to plan anything. I'm scared of a 6.30 bedtime, I dont trust him to wake up at a decent time I think tomorrow I'll just bite the bullet and try 20min, and I suppose I try the next nap after 2.5-3hr A time.
Thanks again, don't know what I'd do without you
 

[clazzat]

I do 3h after a 20 min nap in the morning - and the 20 min nap is normally after 3ish hours' A.  We still have the odd 2-nap day even though we have had mostly 1-nap days for a few weeks now.  It's okay to go back and forwards - very few los can just drop to 1 without any issues and without going backwards from time to time.

[MummyToBen]

How'd it go?

xx

[kayra]

:)Thanks for asking. Pretty good actually
so we did 20-25 i think-in the morning after about 3.5 A time. He seemed surprised when I woke him, but wasnt cranky thankfully. then I put him down at just under 3 hrs and he went to sleep pretty quickly, slept for 1.45min! So i am a happy bunny! He went to bed ok too, but we had visitors and unfortunately he woke a couple of times (his bedroom is right by the main door ), but just mumbled a bit and went back to sleep. So I think we'll try the same tomorrow and hope that it goes just as well!
How was your day?

[*Becky*]

Really pleased it went well For us the 20 min am nap has been great x

[MummyToBen]

That's great  !  It takes a few days to get used to it (for us and them!!) - I used to find it so hard waking Ben at 20 minutes!!  I've found that if at 19 mins I go in, open his door, put his little lamp on, and then start making noise outside his room it wakes him more gently and he generally seems happier for it.  I know I'm happier when I come out of sleep gradually than being woken with a start!

Hopefully once he settles into this new pattern it might work for a decent time - we've been doing this routine for a few months now and I like it because it also means he can sleep in the car for that 20 minute naps if we go out.

xx

[kayra]

yes we'll get used to it, it just seems so short, it was as if he looked at me saying, mummy what on earth are you doing?
ı have a question, unfortunately he woke up earlier than usual again, i think the hard time settling last night didnt help, so in such a situation do you let them have a bit extra for that first nap or just do the usual routine?

I'm wondering how long we'll be doing this till he's ready for just 1 nap, since we've started doing it quite a bit later than you guys, we shall see. And of course this is me optimistically hoping that this is 'it' after just 1 day!!

[MummyToBen]

What time did he wake? 

I tend to weigh it up on whether it was a decent night's sleep (11hrs+ here), and if so then I wouldn't give any more than 5 minutes more as I've found this leads to a shorter pm nap.  But if Ben wakes up significantly early, then I try and get him down for his nap quite a lot earlier too, and I might give him a 30 minute nap (or more), but then stretch the middle A time by at least 30mins.  If he has an EW I always tend to give an earlier bedtime too as this is where he seems to make up for lost sleep. 

Hope that helps (I even feel confused reading that back  )- but I think it's probably just working out what tweaks work best for you as they are all so different. 
x

[clazzat]

I never tried to give a longer morning nap, no matter how early the wake - for us it just meant a short pm nap and therefore more lost sleep.  I would let mine sleep longer for the pm nap to catch up if they were really tired, and then do a normal bedtime.  As Claire said, it is just a question of finding what combination works for you.

[kayra]

he woke up around 6.30 this morning, so I think that was less than an 11hr night since he didnt fully settle till well gone 8 last night, he kept briefly waking up.
PM nap wasnt too successful unfortunately A friend came over just before I was going to put him down (she was supposed to come earlier), I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it since essentially he was in bed at about the right time, we just had to keep the winddown rather short. anyway he didnt settle for half an hour, and then only slept an hour. OT by the time he fell asleep of course so I'm going to need to give him a slightly earlier bedtime tonight and hope for a better day tomorrow-a birthday present for his mummy I think I may have gone a bit over 20min this morning-not sure if that played a part in it too. I probably need to be more vigilant about those 20min.