26 mo resists going to bed, takes too long to sleep, & needs someone in the room

[MaeDoLucas]

Hi there. We've been having so many difficulties with our two year old son lately, and I don't know where to start to get back on track. He was doing well until about 6 months ago, when we moved to a new house and transitioned him to a big boy bed because he was climbing out of his Pack n' Play. When we moved, he regressed, and we just comforted him because we thought he was adjusting to the new house and new bed. But things have gotten worse. He hates going to bed, either for a nap or at night. Right now, DH is struggling to get him to take a nap (I can hear DS crying), and they've been at it for 1.5 hours. We can't ever leave him alone. He either gets hysterical that we have left him or gets up and starts playing and/or running around the house. DH usually handles bedtime and naptime when he isn't working, since we have a 3 month old in the house. I've talked to DH about helping DS1 to become a better sleeper, but we aren't sure where to begin. Our W/D routine before naps is reading several stories then songs. At bedtime, DH and DS take a shower together then read books and sing. Usually, after the singing stops, he starts working himself up and then is in no mood for sleep. I know he needs the nap. If he skips it, we're in for a very grumpy boy and he's usually OT by night.

Does anyone have any advice?

BTW, here is what our day usually looks like:
7:30 - 8 wake up and eat breakfast
8-12 watch TV and play time (outside if at all possible)
12 lunch
1-4 nap (most of this time is spent actually getting him to sleep)
5:30-6 eat dinner
7 shower
8-9 take him to bed

[anna*]

(((hugs))) My little one is the same age, and we went through the same thing, I'm going to link you to my thread. In the end we put up a gate at his bedroom door. It worked really well within a few days - now I can settle him in bed and leave him in there with no crying, and he gets himself off to sleep just like when he was younger.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=160723.0

[~*Nicole*~]

Also...If he's not actually napping during that nap time....and is getting a short amount of sleep in comparison to what he normally gets...I'd start getting him up to bed earlier until the going to sleep on his own in a reasonable amount of time gets sorted out. I bet he's running on empty...pretty OT...and needs to catch up which is probably making this even more tough.



Good luck!

[MaeDoLucas]

Thanks, Anna. I have been reading your thread and will have to reread it tomorrow, as I am exhausted now. I am a little hesitant to use a baby gate because DS is a climber. We stopped using them when we moved because he was already climbing over them. Did you ever have a problem with that? I am also wondering if we should move his bed around. Right now he's sleeping with the head of the bed towards the door, so he can't see the door at all. I am wondering if we should turn it around, at least until he is settled, so he can see the door and thereby see us if we are sitting there.

The last couple weeks, DS has been very clingy, so I am nervous about making large steps. Right now, we have to be in bed with him. I am wondering if we should move to a chair and gradually move it closer to the door until we are just outside the door. I've tried this plan before, but it really didn't take off. I think it's because I caved the nights DH worked late and DS2 was nursing. I can't remember clearly, though.

At any rate, I need to get a good plan in place because DH will be doing a lot of the work, and he'll be resistant. If we could get this straightened out, I would be able to handle bed times more, and he could spend more time working, but he doesn't seem to see that. 

[anna*]

Totally agree with Nicole re early bedtime. We never have had a problem with climbing stairgates so I guess that won't work for you. Moving his bed around is worth a try, with a gradual withdrawal approach. It didn't work for us because Stan would fight sleep when we were there, because he knew that once he fell asleep I would leave.

[~*Nicole*~]

If gradual doesn't work, you'll probably have to go for more of a wi/wo plan. But you can cross that bridge when/if you get there.

Sending your LO falling asleep on his own vibes.