What have I done wrong???

[Courts21]

Who thought getting ds1 (2.5) to sleep in his own bed would be so damn hard. I have quite simply had enough and I truly don't know what to do anymore. Everytime we try he just gets so hysterical he is hyperventilating so bad. All you have to do is mention sleeping in his own bed and he starts to get anxious and starts whimpering and biting his hand. If I just put his pillow on his own bed when I make the beds he starts crying and crying.

Last night I thought, right because he's so anxious, instead of letting him cry it out or anything I'll try to get him sleeping in there with me right by his side because at this stage just having him wake up in his own bed would be a major step forward. So last night we both went to bed in his bed. 1am comes and he is still not asleep, he's tossing and turning and whimpering, even with me right there with my arm round him. 1:30am he starts to scream hysterically, and is very soon hyperventilating. I am still right there with my arm round him, I haven't left him at all. Try for half an hour to settle him and he just keeps hyperventilating. 2:00am I give up, take us both back into my bed. He takes a further hour before he is calm enough to settle to go to sleep. I had to be up half an hour later to feed ds2.

So in the end I didn't get to go to sleep till 4am was up at 6:30am with ds2 and ds1 still didn't sleep in his own bed. I just don't know what to do??? I am so out of ideas?? I am so over having him in my bed and him refusing to go to sleep until I do. I need at least an hour a night kid free, I am going crazy!!! He's 2.5 years old it's not supposed to be this difficult anymore!

[*Becky*]

Hi,
Hugs - that sounds tough.
Can I just ask - how long has this been going on for?
Will be back with some ideas but if you could let me know if this is recent or not it would help. There are lots of great ladies on here so hang in there.
bx

[clazzat]

Have you tried having him sleep in your room but not in your bed?  Perhaps there is something about his room that bothers him - strange shadows or something - and that's why he's not sleeping.  If you could get him used to sleeping in his own bed in your room (you can get inflatable travel beds which might do in the short term - they are in different designs so he could chose one he likes), then maybe you could make the transition to him sleeping in his room with you there and then do GW from there.

Also, does he still nap?  If so, is that in his room or somewhere else?

(((hugs))) - sounds really hard though.

[anna*]

I was wondering about his routine too, if he's overtired at bedtime it's going to be way more difficult for him to accept any change and settle in a different place.

[Courts21]

He's been sleeping with us since he was 14 months up until then he slept fine in his own bed and then one night he flipped a switch and he's never gone back.

His bed is in our room already because currently we are living with df's parents and so we are all in the same room, it doesn't make a difference.

His routine isn't that great because he doesn't go to bed until we do, so generally its bed at 9:30 - up between 7:30am-8am and nap from 1-3, I think he naps to long for his age but I need him to sleep that long to make up for lack of night time sleep.  That being said I have tried putting him down at 7:30pm to try and make his routine better but it's the same nightmare and then we just fight with him to go to sleep until we go to bed anyway so it's just been easier the other way.

He does nap, in our bed, occasionally he's slept in his bed for naptime but not often.  It's only recently that I have been able to get him to nap on his own (before I did that I had to lay down with him for nap time) but his brother's routine soon made it impossible for the 3 of us to nap together.  He still fights napping by himself, he still cries everyday but it's only for about 5 minutes and then he settles.  I don't know why it's so much a bigger deal at night but it is.