Author Topic: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!  (Read 2915 times)

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Offline tashavazak

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OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« on: February 07, 2010, 17:19:26 pm »
Hey there

I have posted before but we are now at ours absolute wits end.  We are all exhausted including my poor 6 year old daughter who is being woken every night by the screaming!!!

My 8.3 month old DS was exclusively BF until a month ago.  I needed him to take a bottle for when i return to work in two weeks.  He refused the bottle for ages but then slowly took it.  In the beginning, i was BF at bedtime and morning time.  Then after a few days, my flow wasn't quick enough for him and we offered the bottle.....he took it and that was that!  So, i was giving a morning feed anywhere between 530 and 7am.  Then the same thing happened a few days later......he wanted lots of milk and wanted it NOW lol.  So......we gave him formula and that was that.  I am quite sad that i was really successful at BF all the way through and within a period of 7 days.....all BFing stopped.  Anyway, whilst i was BF i used to DF then feed at about 2am.  Then around 6 months i stopped all night feeds and he seemed ok.....still waking3 times a night......i'd give him his dummy and he'd fall back to sleep.  He was quite a contented little thing.....happy, smiley.....an angel type baby except for the sleeping through.  Always goes to sleep for naps and bedtime without so much as a peep......

Now......since the formula took over i'd say..........he wakes around 1130pm every night ish......and then i'd say at LEAST every 20-30 mins thereafter until morning.  I have now gone back to nightfeeding because he can hold the bottle.....i give him a 5oz bottle around 3 am when i am utterly exhausted and need a two hour sleep.  He then wakes at about 5am and i give him a 7oz bottle which he only drinks half of!  That gives me till about 645/715 of more sleep!  He puts his dummy back in himself now.....i dont wish to wean him of this yet.

His daily routine is almost the same everyday......it varies only by about 10/15 mins

0645 wakes (varies alot)
0700 Bottle
0800 solids
0900 back from school run - 0915 nap
1030 wake
1100 sometimes bottle 5oz
1200 lunch of solids and fruit
1315 afternoon nap - stirs but always settles down
1450 i wake for school run at 1500
1600 dinner Solids and yoghurt
1700 Becomes miserable and whiney until
1800 i can take no more and take him up for a bath where he cheers up massively
1830 dress for bed....screaming
1845 give bottle
1855 go to room for quiet time and book
1900 settle in cot awake

sometimes wakes around 9pm but i go and settle him back if he starts proper screaming!

I really really need help here.......i go back to fulltime shift work two weeks tomorrow.....i cannot be a good parent or employee if i continue to feel as tired as i am.

Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2010, 17:22:57 pm »
I forgot to say, he now shouts and screams alot in the daytime......and has become very clingy.  Only really likes me holding him......no one else gets a look in.  He IS teething but i would say most babies are teething at this age.  Two teeth have come through but this was before the weaing of the breast.

Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2010, 21:52:46 pm »
so....perhaps i shouldn't have put such a desperate title....26 views and no replies....thanks anyway guys.

Offline Tweakster

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2010, 22:07:52 pm »
Hi there, actually a couple of things I was thinking.
1) His dinner is at 4 and then nothing until his bottle...could you maybe give him a snack at 4 and then his dinner at around 6?
2) Is he only on 3 bottles??  Finn is 10.5 mths and still gets 4 bottles.  Perhaps you need another bottle in the day?
3) His A time is a bit skewed with his naps...most 8 mth olds are doing around 3 hours A time - he's got a short morning A time 2 hr 30 mins, then a short nap 1 hr 15 mins...then a short middle A and his longest A time is at the end of the day.  Long A to bedtime usually cause OT.
4) Could you do a split feed around his bath and bed?  So offer him some of his milk after dinner, then do the bath etc. and then top up at bedtime...he might be cranky for his bath because he's hungry.

Do you feel he's hungry at those NW and not getting enough to sustain him or do you think he's cranky because he's not getting enough sleep in the daytime?
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Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2010, 22:24:56 pm »
hi wendy...thanks for the reply...to be honest i don't know what is up with him through the night...he does seem hungry but i didn't want to feed to sleep and start a whole new pattern of problems. I usually give him his dinner at 4 because any later and he wont take his whole bottle. For example, tonight he took 4 ozs...so 2 hours after going to bed i slipped the bottle in his mouth and he finished the lot. Should i be dreamfeeding at this age to tank him up? He always gets so unsettled at night and then it just carries on through the night. So, you think i should extend both the morning and midday A times making two nap times but when should those be, based on a 7am wake time?

Offline mellyD

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2010, 11:45:10 am »
Hi there going through more or less the same as you with our DD2 6.5 months - we look to have a similar routine to you but with poor naps - anyway just to let you know you are not on your own and I too am trying not to feed in the night but give in somewhere around 4am - I will tag along with this if thats ok and if I find any solutions I will let you know. Our eldest in 3 years and has just started nursery in the afternoon which throws the whole routine out and also she is sooo tired when she gets there as she has been woken all night my the LO so I'm feeling your pain. We too have two teeth through and looks like more on the way - are you giving him pain relief? :-\

Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2010, 12:08:31 pm »
Hi mellyd....you are more than welcome to tag along here....fingers crossed for a solution :)

So...since posting last night, here's what has happened:

1900 Bed
2100 put bottle in mouth....finished the last 4 ozs of his 7oz bedtime bottle
2200 stirred....gave dummy...back to sleep
0127 woke....escalated to a scream....gave 5 oz bottle.....drank in 4 mins (in cot)
0517 woke....wide awake.....
0530 gave 7 oz bottle...drank in 8 mins (in cot)
0600 back to sleep
0730 woke him up
0800 solids of cereal and half piece toast
0900 went to nursery
1010 slept for 15 mins
1030 gave bottle.....drank 1/2 oz
1100 collected from nursery
1110 gave bottle drank 1 oz.....offered again at 1140 and drank 2 more ozs

Its now 1200 and i am about to give solids......would this be right or should i be putting him to bed first???  i just dont know when everything is supposed to fit in!!!!



Offline mellyD

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2010, 13:43:28 pm »
I know it's a bit late now cos we have past the time you were asking but I would give the solids, then put him down for his nap and try get a decent nap so you don't get too OT for the evening.

Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #8 on: February 08, 2010, 13:52:34 pm »
Ok an update.....

Gave solids at 1200.  To see how much we need to be feeding him (he is a big boy and i think i haven't been feeding him enough) i used a jar and he had a slice of bread too.  By 1215 he was starting to 'look' tired so we went upstairs, changed his bum then put in his sleepsack, closed the curtains and put him to bed awake.  He took about 10 mins to settle off.....he was just chatting to himself......no screaming or tears.  Just fell asleep.  Its now 1350 and he is still asleep.....so my question is, how much should he have after a 4 hour A time?  and how much will he need for the whole daytime???  I am going to give him the rest of his bottle when he wakes.....about 4ozs....then dinner at about 1615 the half of his bedtime bottle at 1715 to see if he stops getting so moany and miserable after that time.  The penny dropped last night when i realised that he KNOWS he is getting his bottle after his bath which is probably why he moans for his bath from dinner time!!!!

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2010, 14:16:06 pm »
hi wendy...thanks for the reply...to be honest i don't know what is up with him through the night...he does seem hungry but i didn't want to feed to sleep and start a whole new pattern of problems. I usually give him his dinner at 4 because any later and he wont take his whole bottle. For example, tonight he took 4 ozs...so 2 hours after going to bed i slipped the bottle in his mouth and he finished the lot. Should i be dreamfeeding at this age to tank him up? He always gets so unsettled at night and then it just carries on through the night. So, you think i should extend both the morning and midday A times making two nap times but when should those be, based on a 7am wake time?
Hi there, yes I think he should be on two good solid naps still with reasonably balanced A times.  It's not usually until 9 or 10 mths that they start cutting back their day sleep and even then you do it carefully and slowly. 

I would not introduce a DF at this point, but if he's waking hungry then by all means feed him.  There is a growth spurt at 9 mths too and he's had an adjustment moving to formula.

How many ounces are you offering him at each feed?

So you might get something like this:
Awake 7
Eat 8 oz bottle & solids (yogurt, toast, porridge, fruit etc.)
A time = 3 hrs
Nap 1.5 hrs @ 10 - 11:30
Eat 8 oz bottle & solids (protein + grain + veg and/or fruit)
A time = 3 hrs
Nap 1.5 hrs @ 2:30 - 4
Eat 8 oz bottle
A time = 1.5 hrs then
Eat solids (protein + grain + veg and/or fruit)
A time = 1 hr = bedtime routine & bedtime bottle (top up)
Asleep by 7 

You can also throw some snacks in there too, puffs, rice cakes, biscuits if he's getting peckish between meals.

4 hours is a long A time for his age so just watch for OT and short naps.

We had the same issue with the bottle and bath time so we give him his solids right before bath and then he's ok to last until his bottle.

MellyD, thanks for posting, I just want to say though that if you are having routine issues it might be best to post your own post because there is a big difference in A time between these two ages so the routine suggestions might look different for you.  Is your LO still having a CN?
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Offline mellyD

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2010, 14:41:18 pm »
Hi wendy, yes I have posted seperate and a lovely lady called anna is giving me some advice but please feel free to have a luck cos the more suggestions the better. My LO was going 3 hrs A so I have reduced this to 2.5-2.75 and it has made no difference ::) so far but I will keep trying. When we had 3 hrs A sometimes I would get a good 1.75 hrs nap othertimes 30min OT nap - now I'm not sure if I'm getting 40 mins UT naps. When she naps bad we have a CN but if by any luck we get 2x 1.5 hrs she refuses the CN and bed for 6.30pm.

Your advice on my thread would be greatly appreciated cos I too have just about had enough!!! It's been a long hard 6.5 months!!!

Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2010, 18:52:23 pm »
Hi all.....another update

so.....slept from 1225 till 1440 without so much as a peep.  Tried to give him bottle at 1545 but he only took 5 Oz's which is fine really.  Then he seemed tired at 1700 but i was giving his solids then.  Took him up to bath at 1800.....then fed him 6 0zs at 1835.  I just feel like i have fed him to within an inch of his life today.  Surely his tummy can't take that much food???!!!!!

He is in bed now.....just drifting off i think.  We'll see what tonight brings!

I am hoping that tomorrow i can follow your nap advice Wendy and get him to take a later AM nap and a later PM nap (school run is at 1500) so when should i put him down and wake him for the PM one???? 1505 - 1700?????  This would then undo the afternoon bottle though so i am confused!  I know this sounds like a nap issue BUT i have night problems not nap probs.....i never have a real problem in the daytime!

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2010, 09:28:45 am »
Morning all

another update

Well last night was truly awful but im not sure if he was in some sort of pain....maybe teething pain. He woke at 2230 and didn't settle until about 0130 ish.  I gave pain meds at about 2330 then eventually at 0115 i patted his back lightly and he settled off.  Then at 0330 he woke screaming again.  I gave him 5 ozs and some meds and he eventually went off till 0630.  He has been fine since then, quite happy.  I have just put him down for his first nap of the day......i placed him awake in his cot at 0918 and he has just drifted off i think.

So today i look like death warmed up and i have a stonking headache.  I'm just so tired that i don't know where to begin :(  So if I feel like this......how on eath must my poor boy be feeling never getting more than 3 hours sleep!!!

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2010, 11:27:20 am »
HI there, it does sound like discomfort and also hunger - 5 oz is actually a good feed in the night.  If you gave pain meds at 2330 they would take some time to kick in so it sounds like that's what happened.  What meds are you giving?

I know you mentioned only your nights are bad but really the days and nights are so connected that normally when you sort out the day routine and it's running pretty smoothly the nights get better.  If nights go wonky it's typically time to revisit the day again. 

That said, sometimes the nights can just be bad for other reasons i.e. hunger or discomfort. 

Sorry you are feeling so poorly - hugs!  Could you nap at his morning nap?  That's what I would do after Finn's worst nights or EW.
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Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2010, 16:13:46 pm »
Hey Wendy

So last night he want to bed as normal at 7pm and like clockwork at 11pm woke moaning.....it escalated slightly so DH went and gave him his dummy back and moved him from his uncomfortable position (our DS sat up unaided by 5 month but only learned to rollover at 8 months!!!) He seems to shimmy down to the end of the cot and he doesn't like it......wakes up, moans, screams...we sort him out but he is usually awake by then!  So its a merry go round of activity!!!!  He woke again at 2350......gave him 5oz bottle as i had eliminated all other causes.  Then he woke again at 0317.  I went in after about 7 mins of moaning then crying......gave dummy, patted back, waited for him to relax.  He was still moaning/crying on and off till 0400.  I went in to him most times (about every ten mins). Then he went back to sleep until 0630 when we gave him his 7oz bottle which he drank 4ozs of.

My DD is going to my parents for the half term week next week.....i am THAT tired that i am even considering focusing on the CIO method.  I had all of these problems with my DD and she didnt sleep through until she was THREE!!!!!  I cannot go on like this......we are all way to exhausted now.

I give him calpol......perhaps i should give it often.....that way it will actually help the pain!!!!