Author Topic: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!  (Read 2914 times)

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Offline ~Sara~

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2010, 16:54:52 pm »
Hi there :)

Just to offer my two cents' worth in addition to Wendy...if you could nap when he does and go to bed as soon as you can at night after both kids are down, I think that would help even just a *tiny* bit...to help you feel more refreshed.

Re: you wanting to try CIO...I understand that you feel like you're at your wit's end and that nothing is working, so why not just do it, right?  Been there, too.  It's rough, especially when LOs aren't sleeping at night.  Can I suggest that you not go down that path?  CIO doesn't teach him anything except that no one is coming when he cries.  We're here to help you use techniques that will help him learn to sleep better.  Plus, if it's discomfort from teething or him getting stuck at the bottom on his crib, he's crying because he needs some help/comfort.  I know you probably don't really want to do CIO (or maybe, you really do), but I think we can figure this out--or at least help you cope with it all--in a much gentler way *hugs*  I really do sympathize with how you're feeling, though; I really do.

So, I was wondering, hon, if you could post what his entire day looked like.  A full EASY (24h time frame), in the EAS format.  I'm thinking he might need a bit of tweaking overall.

Also, at night...you said that he can replug his own pacifier, yet you and DH often go back in and replug it for him?  Do you think it might help to view these NWs in terms of a prop issue?

Related to that, his formula intake during the whole day/night.  Could you put that in the EAS routine?  I'm wondering if not only the feeding at night is a prop issue, but might also need to be shifted so that he's consuming more during the day.

I often feel like the A time after DS's second nap is a food fest.  He gets a bottle (6-7 oz), then solids 30 minutes later, and then he gets a bedtime bottle (~6 oz).  That's 12-13 oz plus solids in under 3h!  I feel just like you...must be a TON of food; but if you treat the first bottle as the meal and the bedtime bottle as the top-off, it kind of puts things into perspective.

Lastly, teething can wreak havoc with even the most textbook of routines.  If you notice that pain meds/teething gel help him settle and sleep better, then it's probably a good idea to offer them as long as he needs them (and in a way that you feel comfortable doing).  Before naps, give it 30 minutes prior; then 30 minutes before bed.  Might need a top off at night.

HTH a bit.

P.S. Not all LOs are alike, but I thought you might want to see how our days look; if for nothing other than how we fit in the Es :)

Awake 7
E: 7--bottle (usually 7-8 oz); solids at 8
A: 3h15
S: 10:15 (1.5h)
Awake 11:45
E: 12 (7 oz); solids at 1
A: 3h25
S: 3:10 (between 1h15-1h30)
Awake ~4:30
E: bottle (~6 oz); solids at 5ish
A:
E: bottle 30 minutes before bed (~6 oz)
S: asleep by 7:45
« Last Edit: February 10, 2010, 17:05:20 pm by ~Sara~ (aka tersaseda) »
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Offline clazzat

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #16 on: February 10, 2010, 19:00:37 pm »
(((hugs)))  It is so hard when you are that tired - trust me, I know: I was up for 5 hours straight last night - but PLEASE don't CIO.  It doesn't help in the long run, and it really does break the trust between you and your lo.

You say that the problems started when you started giving him formula - have you tried different formulas to check that he is not reacting to the formula he is being given?  It's possible that it doesn't agree with him and he is uncomfortable.  We had a lot of problems with dd2 when we started giving her cow's milk (which she drank really happily) and when we stopped giving it to her (we went for a lactose-free version) her nights got better (mostly! ;D).  Even if there aren't obvious signs, it could be upsetting his tummy.

One other thing is that you mention you put the dummy in when he stirred - was he actually awake at this time?  The reason that I ask is that sometimes they stir and resettle if left to themselves, and when we intervene quickly (to prevent them waking up fully) we sometimes make things worse.

More (((hugs))).  We're here to work through this with you.

Offline tashavazak

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #17 on: February 10, 2010, 21:41:45 pm »
Sara/Classat

Thanks so much for your posts.....i really dont want to CIO but just feel like i have no other way of coping other than for him to learn to settle himself.....my health visitor advised controlled crying.....i just dont know anymore :(

Sara....what i'll do is post a full EAS day for us over the next two days.....perhaps we can see then what needs sorting first.  I went on to the props page today and read about the paci......i've decided that i really dont want to wean at this stage HOWEVER, i did take some good advice.  I've removed every soft toy and unnecessary item out of his cot......i've sewn two dummies onto his little lovie thing.....and when he woke just now (after leaving him, he woke up fully and was crying) i gave him the lovie in his hand so that he could find his mouth.  Hopefully with only that in his cot, it wont take long to learn!!!!

The only other thing i have failed to mention is that ever since he started on formula.....30 mins after feeds (even solids) he is sick......brings up like a sickly smelling cottage cheese textured sick.  Would this be something to do with the milk???  I could always try a formula that is easier going on tummys???!!!!  He usually has (aften doesn't finish) 0700-7ozs 1100-5ozs 1600-7ozs (never takes this much) then 1845 takes about 4ozs of a 7oz bottle.  Then around 3am takes 5 ozs......when i was BFing i had stopped the middle of the night feed from 6 months till 7 1/2 months.  We went to my parents for christmas and when he woke in the night (he slept in with me) i just gave him the breast....maily to prevent him waking fully and waking the others in the house up.  He has been truly awful at night since then i'd say.

Offline clazzat

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2010, 21:46:02 pm »
I really think it's worth trying a different formula - from what you have said it does sound like it might not agree with him.  Nothing to lose, right?

Offline Tweakster

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2010, 23:40:38 pm »
Hi there, oh my goodness didn't realize he was spitting up - yes absolutely I would try a different formula to see if it helps.
The tweaking never stops!

Offline *Jo*

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #20 on: February 10, 2010, 23:52:03 pm »
Hi there, just popping along to offer some more support, definately look at a different formula if he is spitting it up especially with that cottage cheese type of vomit, what formula are you on now?

In the meantime, definatley use pain releif and if you ahve something that will ease his upset tummy in the meantime then i would try that as well, some sort of stomach releif (we use Brauers, its all natural) I think that the nightwakings are an indication of pain to be honest and if you were to do CIO then that wouldnt be fair on him at all, hes only trying to tell you "Mum, my tummy hurts!" also the long A time at the end of the day would just top it all off for him, i know when i dont feel well i just wanna go to bed so if hes ending up doing a really long A time he would just be miserable.

Huge Hugs hun, we are here to help you!





Offline ~Sara~

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Re: OMG Please help me......i'm exhausted!!!
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2010, 03:49:30 am »
Oh, yes, if he's not tolerating the formula well, definitely look at trying out a different kind...maybe even a lactose-free one.

Take your time with the EASY as I think he's probably got a sensitive tummy right now that's the underlying factor in all of this.

*hugs*
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