New mum, new to EASY, exhausted and confused!!

[turtles]

Hello,

Dont know where to start... I am so sorry this is going to be an epic post but I am so confused and exhauseted but dont want to give up trying EASY. My main problem seems to be how feeding affects following easy...

Basically, bub is 10 weeks old. She was three weeks early but healthy and well. She is putting on weight well and apart from feeding time and settling for sleep, she is a happy baby

My first confusion/upset is about feeding:
 
First we thought she had colic as very unsettled at sleep times and during feeding and other random times, yet alot of time she was fine. We rang parent helpline, tried their advice including swaddle & dummy, burping,  infacol drops (cant remember what else as have been given so much different advice since then)..
The I went to the GP at around 6 weeks as it was upsetting still because bub seemed to be in pain during feeds and randomly when awake too and very bad at night settling time. She was regurgitating a fair bit of her feeds too at that stage and would only feed for 5 mins on avarage before she would seem in so much pain and would not feed any more, arching her back gulping, sdpluttering, wailing etc. During feeds she coughs, chokes and seems gagged. She straightens her body so I can not get her to latch on. She wails and seems in alot of pain and discomfort or falls asleep. After feeds she seems very distressed, She huiccups alot, drools alot, has wet burps and farts very loudly often. He thought it was reflux but unless she was loosing weight, didnt want to give mediaction. We tried his advice of elevating cot, keeping upright after feeds etc...
Then had 8 week obsrtretician appt and again raised concerns about her pain/discomfort during feeding. She on avarage will only have 5 mins of feeding on one side only and wont take any more. The longest is 11-13 mins on one side only and I must say it is random as some feeds she is fine...- however she is gaining weight really well- people comment on how 'wholesome' she looks- as in she looks more on the chubby side!
The obst thought it was not reflux but a fast let down and suggested expressing first a bit to slow the flow and to feed her upright straddled on my leg or leaning back. This diagnosis seemed to sound right as my boobs leak alot of milk and i soak up towels as im feeding and milk shoots out strongly especially on one side.
But..... Bub wont feed straddled, I do the lying down which works the best but she still will only feed usually 5 mins, Im worried as snacking as sometimes goes 3 hrs, other times wants another feed after 1 hr etc. She also still pulls away crying and in pain and in worst after the feed when Im trying to burp- I dont even pat now, just rub her back gently.. then a big wet burp comes up and is generally ok during activity time until I tr and settle her (but Im thinking her distress at this time is just her learning to sleep etc..) My problem is also I feel soo embarassed to feed her in public as it sounds like Im hurting her- she is so lod at feeding, often makes a gulping clicking sound, wails/cries and thrashes about (however randomly it can actually be fine, just still short in length though)
My husband dream feeds her at night so she is practically asleep then and she doesnt seem to be in pain, but is alot more relaxed. Also feeds at night seem practically pain free to her, she just gets distressed being settled back to sleep sometimes.

Now my next confusion is about EASY....

To set the scene, only found out about BW two weeks ago.
Up until then I was just going with bubs flow and using the sling (as she would fall asleep in it straight away, any time) when I needed her to sleep. I was getting good sleep as she was in bassinette next to our bed but from 5am on I would co-sleep and feed her lying down and we both seemed really happy with this, drifting in and out of sleep till late morning so I was able to catch up on sleep well.
I wanted a more predictable routine and was worried i was setting up bad habits so I loved the sound of BW advice and EASY.

However, I have been tring EASY for over a week, bought both books, used this forum and cant work it out. Im getting exhausted but dont want to give up...

First I tried changing our usual routine, waking her up at 7am but it has started getting later and later as I have to feed around 4 or 5 am and am just so exhausted to wake her up at 7 the last few days. Here are FRI, SAT and today EASY (as they have developed)..

FRI

E 7:40 (approx 5 mins total feeding on one side) but kept trying waking her up and trying as worried she is snacking
A -very sleepy, kept falling asleep
S 8:40

E 10:30 (app 11 mins)
A squirmy, pained, crying/panting, coughing
S 11:45 , woke again 12:45, settled her back to sleep

E 2:00 (8 mins)
A went for walk in pram, got overtired..
   no sleep as overtired, would not settle..

E 5:24 (14 mins)
A
S 6:30-7, woke up, re settled her, slept 7:30-9:55

E 9:55 160 ml expressed
A
S 10:15

E 2 am 10 mins

E 6 am 12 mins

SATURDAY

E 9:00 5 mins
A got over tired
  would not sleep

E 12:00 13 mins
A
S 1:30

E 3:00 160 ml expressed
A
S 4:15- 5
A 5-6:30

E 6:30 120 ml expressed
A
E 7:30 7 mins
S7 :50, woke up 8:30, again 8:45

E 11:00 50 mls expressed
S

E 3:00 (5-8 mins)

E 6:00 (5-8 mins)

TODAY

E 7:30 (5 mins)
S 7:35
A 10:30

E 11:00 8 mins
A seemed tired
S 11:30-12,
A 12:30-1
S 1:00

E 2:30 5 mins
A
S 3:30, woke 4.. wouldnt slleep

E 4:45 20 mls expressed
A unsettled, wont sleep

E 5:25 7 mins


Now, Ive given up!!! Hubby is being amazing and constantly trying to resettle her as I am EXHAUSTED, sooo confused and my head seems scattered. I am upset as feeds cause her pain, I feel her sleeping is totally random!! I really hope some one can help!!!!!!!!!!!

Ps I am so sorry if this is one big ramble and makes np sence, I am soooo tired...

Thanks in advance xxoox





A

[*Liz*]

The feeding does sound like the main issue really  and it is hard to be sure what with the sleep until reflux is excluded properly - which usually means a trial of medications.

But certainly sounds refluxy, although fast let down is a known mimic.

To get a routine in place we really do need a set 'wake-up' time though as if bedtime is 7pm ish she will not nap well if she has had a big lie in until 10am. I do totally understand the exhaustion that comes with a difficult feeder.

Feeding every 3-4hrs round the clock can also be perfectly normal at this age as well really  .

How are you settling her for sleep now?

There are also some refluxers who feed very frequently to soothe their throats - and that gives good weight gain. Some lose (if they refuse to feed like my LO), but weight loss certainly doesn't tell the whole picture.

Where in the world are you? Healthcare systems differ you see  .

((hugs)) to you we will do our best to try and help you out 

[turtles]

LizJ thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it! To answer your questions:
I went to the pedeatrician today and he thinks it is reflux and prescribed Losec. I will start her on that today and see if it helps..
I live in Australia. To settle her I usually shhh and pat her in my arms and try to put her in her cot as she starts to close her eyes but often I need to do this again for 20 or 30 mins with varing success. Sometimes she just wont settle at all. Thanks for explaining the importance of the wake up time, that makes sense.
Thanks again 

[*Liz*]

Lets see how the losec helps - I really hope it will as it is a good drug for reflux  . My DS took it from about 6-13 mths.

I'm REALLY pleased someone has given you some meds to try as that is what I was thinking was needed. In pain during feeds is just not right really  .

If it IS reflux and the pain settles the sleep will improve. I would use AP as you need to until we sort her feeding to get her the sleep she needs for now.

We usually see an effect of the medication within 1-2 weeks.

Really hoping it helps you both