Need help getting my 11 week old on EASY

[meggy50]

Hi,

I have an 11 week old baby who currently has no formal routine in place and I want to change that.  I have post natal depression which started the day I came home from the hospital (day 3) and the last couple of weeks have been spent getting me better and back on track and not focusing on her routine.  I am on anti depressants which are finally working and I feel much better and able to cope with things and so now I feel ready to tackle the routine issue. 

I have read 2 of Tracy's books and understand the whole idea of the EASY routine but I am stuck on how I get it started because my baby doesn't go down for naps very easily.  In fact at the moment in the day I can only get her to nap by putting the hoover on or taking her out in the car or pram. 

I keep looking for the first signs of her tiredness e.g. yawn, and take her upstairs and close the curtains but as soon as I do she starts crying and won't stop.  I have tried swaddling her, sitting her in the vertical position, the Ssh pat etc but nothing will calm her down, in the end I give up and take her back down stairs - which I know is wrong.  I should also mention that to help me over come my depression I have been getting out of the house most days and meeting up with other mothers etc so my little girl isn't used to the idea of a nap time in the house.

Currently her typical day is:

7am wake then feed (usually 5oz) this is her quickest feed of the day and lasts only about 15 mins
8am sometimes falls asleep for 30mins to 1 hour or if not will lay in her moses basket for similar time while I get up and dressed, do bottles etc.
9.30am or sometimes 10am feed (usually 4oz) usually a slower feed taking about 30 mins
10am-10.30am activity usually top and tail (or bath) and dressed
10.30am nap but only by using prop e.g. hoover or walk in pram
11.30am wakes grumpy and crying so I feed her but this can take up to an hour and she may only take 3 or 4 oz. I think that she is tired not hungry and uses the bottle to get back to sleep.  I tried using a dummy but she just pushes it out with her tongue and wont suck it.

After this time it really depends on what I do i.e if I go out or stay in.  If I go out she sleeps in the pram which can be up to 2 or 3 hours and if I stay in she is awake until around 3m when she may have a nap but again only if I use a prop.  She would probably feed at 1.30pm (5oz) and then at 4/4.30pm.

She has had colic so the past 8 weeks she would not settle at all in the evenings.  So from 6pm until 10pm she is with us downstairs being comforted to ease her pain / crying.  In the last week or so her colic seems to be easing and is becoming more relaxed in the evening but still fights being put down for a nap.   She usually feeds about 4oz at 6.30pm and then maybe 3 or 4 oz at 8.30pm.  I know she should be able to go 3 hours between feeds but if I try that she cries and screams.

The only fixed part of her day is her last feed which is at 10.30pm and she is then swaddled and goes down without a fight first time and sleeps until 6 or 7am.

My health visitor tells me not to worry about routine and to just go with the flow but I want to have more structure in our day.

So how do I start to tackle the nap issue?  She just cries and cries in the wind down time so what should I do because I know I give up too easily.  Do I just keep using the ssh pat for 40 mins or so even if she is crying the whole time?  I find it hard to stay calm and relaxed when she is crying, I feel like I am doing everything wrong.

Please does anyone have any advise or success stories they can share??

Sorry about the length of the post!!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, I really hear where you are coming from.  I have PPD as well, and it started about 2 weeks in.  Finn also has acid reflux so we had a terrible time with his eating and sleeping in the beginning.

I too didn't tackle any sleep training until after 3 mths because it was really just survival until then.  So your health visitor may have a point.  Sleep training can be really taxing and you need to be well-rested and on top of your game.  It's best to start it at a time when you can be as consistent as possible so if you are going out and about going with the flow for now might work best for now.  It is also best to start when you have help and support?  Are you getting some help and support from the people around you?

Here are some good links that helped me get started:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164034.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65944.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63056.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65443.0

It's a lot of reading but it will really help supplement the information in the books.

As far as success goes, we now have a nearly 12 mth old on 1 nap and sleeping through the night and I do attribute most of that to Tracy's methods.  We used shush/pat and I stayed in his room for most naps from when he was 12 weeks until nearly 20 weeks...and then worked hard on his routine from then on in.  And when all else fails these days, we go back to shush/pat or our own variation thereof to get him back on track.  So it was really really hard work but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

If she likes the Hoover then she would probably do well with white noise, do you have a portable CD player or something you can put in her room...you can get recordings of Hoover sounds actually, or heartbeat sounds or other white noise sounds.  Finn still has his heartbeat sound at naps, I am sure we can do without it now, but it's become part of his routine and it feels strange without it.

[meggy50]

Thanks for the reply.  I guess I just need to stop stressing about it right now and wait for her colic to go.  Thanks for the links I will read them so that I know what I should be doing when I can start her on a rountine in a couple of weeks.

[Tweakster]

Big hugs - it's hard on them in the beginning because they are just so new.  Things do get better as they start to adjust to the world and you start to adjust to each other.