HELP! desperately losing naps!!!

[nursemeg01]

think I might be at my breaking point. I posted this on Props and they directed me here. I have been implementing BW since day one and finally taught her how to sleep independently at 10 weeks. things were great until about 2 weeks ago. She is now almost 5 months. We went from 1.5-2 hr naps to 45 minutes. Despite my trying I can't get her to resettle after the 45 min nap. When I try shush pat she screams until I pick her up. Once I pick her up, I still can't get her to resettle in the crib and I've kind of been doing a PU/PD to no avail. Now the OT cycle has started and it's all getting worse. Yesterday she only took one nap!!!

For all naps I put her in her crib awake but drowsy, (brief WD (White noise, sing in her ear, no paci, no lovey, no swaddle) and shush as I go out the door. She'll usually let out a little cry once I open the door but settles by the time I am down the stairs. She'll sleep for about 45 minutes and then will start crying. I go upstairs and open the door and she immediately quits crying. If I shut the door (and leave) she'll start up again. If I go in the room, she'll smile and me and for a while I thought she just wasn't tired (but that's not true). If I try to calm her in the crib shush/pat only makes her more agitated (she never liked pat, I only shush her). AS you can imagine we fall apart by the end of the day.

I'll post my EASY for the past few days but our 'perfect' EASY consisted of us waking at 7. Sleep 8:30-10:30, E: 11, S: 12:30-2, E: 2:30, S: 4:30-5:15, E: 5:15, WD and Sleep by 7:15. I have since moved her bedtime to 6:30 to accommodate the OT monster. Here's where we are now.

MONDAY: Sleep 6:30 pm with night waking at 4:30 or 5 for food. She is BF.
Wake/E: 7:30
S: 9:15-10
A: 10-11
E: 11
S: 12:00
A: 12:45 whiny, tried shush/pat couldn't get back to sleep
E: 2:30
in crib at 2:30 trying to get to sleep. gave up at 4:30.
walked around until 5.
E: rice cereal, then BF until 5:30
changed diaper, put in crib at 5:45
cried for 10 minutes. Asleep at 6.

TUESDAY:
one NW at 4. Feed back to bed.
E/A: 7:30-9:30 (tried extending A time as she slept a long time and didn't seem tired)
put her in the crib at 9:30 didn't fall asleep until 10. Just hung out in the crib and then gave a little cry for about 2 minutes before falling asleep.
S: 10-10:45. played with her feet in crib until 11:15. Didn't cry.
E/A: 11:15
Dropped her off at nanny at 12:30 (she does BW too!). Couldn't get her to sleep the whole time I was gone. She was fed at 3
Picked up from nanny at 5!!!
E: 5-5:30 wide awake. walked around the house. smiling didn't seem fussy at all.
started night routine at 5:30.
Asleep by 6:15.

One NW last night at 2
Awake at 6:15 A---and here we are. She is not fussy (which is a blessing but I know she HAS to be tired). I also think she may be teething but I'm not sure.

HELP!

Meg

[deb]

I'm guessing teeth as my first guess. Growth Spurt is my second; has she started solids yet? Not all babies have the decency to wait till 6 months for their 6-month GS!

When she wakes at the 45-minute mark, are you able to get in there BEFORE she even stirs, say at the 40-minute mark, and settle her back down before she has a chance to come out of it? That's how we got past the 45-minute mark: Josie would stir and spit out her paci/dummy and then wake for it, so we went in at 40 minutes, waited for her to stir and stretch and spit out the paci, and popped it right back in before she could even open her eyes. After a few days of that she became accustomed to sleeping thru and didn't wake even when she did spit it out, and started taking 90-minute naps again.

Also, does your LO have reflux? Makes being horizontal no-fun, and if she's on meds and has grown, meds may need to be adjusted upward.

[nursemeg01]

She did have reflux but we have since weaned the medicine successfully. She has been off meds for over a month and a half. It really doesn't seem to be an issue because she'll be in her crib playing for 30 minutes or so before she starts crying out. Just now I put her down at 8:30 and she just now started crying out (mantra) 9:15. I'm typing this up before I go get her to see if she'll settle. When I go in she wakes the minute I open the door--we have a large window so I try not to open the door unless I have to, so I gave up on W2S.

She started solids this week but the sleep issue was going on before that. I also use the solids as A time and don't count it as a meal. She seriously doesn't seem sleepy. She'll play in her crib trying to roll over, hugging her feet etc until she gets sick of that and then starts to cry. The thing is I KNOW she has to be tired. right now she's been up for 3 hours already. So it's going to be another bad day...It's like I can't get her to sleep at all anymore.

[deb]

I would seriously try to get in there and resettle her before she wakes fully. Can you cover the window so it's not so bright? If you go in at, say 30-35 minutes odds are she'll still be pretty soundly asleep. But if you could get her used to sleeping thru again, that might get you over this hump.

[nursemeg01]

Ok I'm going to try it for the second nap. I finally got her down around 10 for about 45 minutes. She's awake and happy again. I'm going to give her an hour and then try to put her down.

[nursemeg01]

snuck in there at the 35 min mark. She woke right up and smiled. Didn't cry so I shushed her and left. Started screaming and settled after 4 minutes. She is now upstairs playing with her feet so I'm getting ready to go get her....sigh.

[deb]

Hmmm.....

OK, then so much for that theory.

How about DEcreasing her total Awake time to 90 minutes. If she's OT by naptime her sleep would be unsettled.

Oh, one thing: has she started any new skills? Keep your eyes open; just before Josie [rolled over/rolled back/pulled up/crawled/cruised/spoke/put two words together/other], her sleep would go wonky for a few days to a week, and then it'd take a little more time for her to get over the novelty of having new abilities, and THEN we were permitted to go about our day once more....   ....till the next developmental leap, anyway...

One more crazy thought: Can you nap in there with her for the first nap so you can be right there when the noise and stirring start? You might notice some things you can't hear thru the door or over the monitor that might help, like her dreaming noises if she sleeps that long.

[inoella]

Hi meg! we were chatting a few weeks ago - so sorry the naps have not improved. my lo's didn't really either until the past few days and now today is a little weird again... sigh... so i'm not writing cuz i solved it but i do have a few ideas that i think have helped me - could just be a fluke tho! 

1. i kept thinking there was nothing she needed to "wind down" from cuz it's just the two of us here all day! but for a couple of days last week i kept things really low key all during every A time and took her up to her room 45 min. early - sometimes only an hour after waking.  i also did this to help her get used to the room for things other than nap time as she had started getting fussy the minute we walked in. that seemed to help - apparently she was so OT that she just needed a lot of time to wind down!

2. our EASY was so messed up anyway that half the time her E time was right before S time so i just went ahead and nursed in her room to help her wind down. she doesn't usually fall asleep but this really helps her calm down. this).  i know it's not ideal but i had to start somewhere and i feel it's been worth it to get her caught up on sleep.

3. i'm just the opposite with crying - if she's really crying i don't even try to extend, i just cut the next A time WAY down. for a few days i was putting her down after 1 hr (with the hope she would be asleep by 1hr 15 min.). Tried to get in 4 short naps just to help her catch up. not sure it that would work for you...

4. have you tried trying to extend the nap even if she doesn't wake up crying? if my lo is crying there's no hope but i have had success with getting her back to sleep if i sneak in at 40 min and if she wakes up pick her up to burp or just roll her over and keep a firm hand on her (so she doesn't turn to see me  ) and wait for the first yawn. i figure i'm training her to get use to a longer sleep cycle.

it's all hit/miss for me at this point and these could all just be lo specific fixes, but if any of them help you that would be great!

[nursemeg01]

I'm going to try W2S again for the next nap (if I'm lucky enough to get a 3rd nap). Although we've only had 2 45 min naps today I feel like we are making some progress because yesterday she only had 1!!! My plan is to sneak in about 10 minutes after she is asleep and then try W2S at the 35 min mark. We'll see...

[nursemeg01]

Thanks for the post inoella. I think a long WD may be appropriate and I just tried that where we went up to her room 1 hour after getting her out of bed. I turned off the lights and sang for a good 15 min (at least she can appreciate my tone deafness) and then I just kind of swayed for a while. I put her in the crib and so far she's up there sucking on her hands and not crying. I think she might be so OT that she can't WD effectively and fortunately (or unfortunately) she doesn't get too cranky so I've been misinterpreting that as NOT tired. I don't know...I feel pretty clueless right now.

[nursemeg01]

Ok so I just did a really long WD and put her in the crib drowsy. She stayed up in her room squealing and playing with her feet. never cried. Did this for an hour and then I went up and got her. Is she just not sleepy? or too OT to sleep but happy? what should I do---put her down more drowsy or see if she can figure it out?

[inoella]

meg - i was just going to post in "general sleep" because i've been shh/patting (my little version of it) until she's asleep basically...to get her used to it and associate it with sleep. i've found that if she's talking to herself she's actually OT and actually ends up keeping herself up. when i get it just right i can shh/pat for a little until she stops babbling and then walk out but sometimes she's actually pretty much asleep. at this point i'm thinking that this is what i need to do until she catches up on sleep... but i think i'll post anyway - want me to let you know what they say? 
i know it's frustrating - and sometimes it doesn't help for people to say "hang in there" ... but "hang in there!"

[nursemeg01]

yes please let me know and I'll look for the post. that may be the problem right there. Do you know if I get good sleep tonight (maybe only NW) am I able to say that I'm starting fresh or would she still be considered OT?

[inoella]

i've read somewhere here that after a full night's sleep they catch up ... but imho that really only applies to one day of OT, ykwim?
once they get perpetually OT - like our los - it seems like it would be just like us - it might take a while to really catch up...

[deb]

One other thing you can do if you're really at your wits' end is break the cycle and go for a drive at naptime and just let them sleep in the car. It's not BW by any means, but it can break the OT cycle, get you out of the house and give you a much-needed change of scenery, and hopefully everyone can start feeling more refreshed in a day or two.