been on EASY since 6wks but never had a good one. 5 m/o now i need help please!

[anielasmommy]

shes like the happiest baby in the world-sometimes even if shes OT, but it also depends where we are and what we are doing. if shes OT and we are hanging around the house shes a screamer. i think she gets frustrated easily...she gets mad too. if you are buggin her or do something she doesnt like (like toss her in the air or even hold her up like your going to) she throws her arms up like a shes flexing her muscles and turns bright red and goes eeerrrrrrrr really loud lol its sad though i get upset when people  her off. shes just VERY expressive of her emotions. she does kisses and hugs too and shes a wicked cuddler...its definately horrible when shes OT in the house but when we are out and about and shes OT shes happy as a clam smiling and laughing. its so strange. like today was horrible so i took her to whole foods with me and we got some shopping done and i had her in the wrap on a hip carry so she could look around and she was laughin at people and talking and loving every min of it. the second we get home it was a screamfest! oh lord that girls lungs are good lol no one understands at all that i have to "make her" take naps either. everyone always says just stop forcing her and she will sleep when shes tired- yeah right not my baby she will stay up all day long and then scream for hours at night b/c shes so OT...and i tell them that and they dont believe me of course but w/e i know whats best for my baby and im trying to help her the best i can thats what matters to me. i think its really rough because shes a "difficult" baby b/c of all her sleep issues and how she expresses herself but on top of that we have had all the relux and intolerance issues. i feel horrible to b/c i kept bringing her and bringing her to the doctor and she basically told me babies are fussy shes fine and i kept saying no its not like that but she didnt listen. im only 22y/o so alot of people dont take me seriously or think i could possibly be a good mother...well anyway i knew something was wrong and my poor baby went through all that pain for so long before we got it resolved. we are seeing her new pedi on tues so i really hope i like her and she will listen to me!

well as you know we didnt really follow easy today. she ate every 4hrs and i put her in bed at 5pm..she only had that one nap and it was AP'd and it only lasted 1.5hrs! im thinking tommorrow will be screwy b/c of the time change but idk. if she wakes at 5 it will be the new 6 so maybe it wont be too bad. thats one of the reasons i p/d early. she woke at 30 min mark but i patted her and she went back to sleep (yay!)

so tommorrow idk what my game plan will be. i guess i will go by instinct and logic and tired signs for her A time...im thinking probably 2hr mark i will p/d so she will be asleep at 2hr 10 mins (im praying)

thanks for the help and support

[*Liz*]

((hugs)) Kami.

I agree with your game plan for tomorrow - a 2hr PD sounds sensible.

FWIW I think you are doing a wonderful job of learning how to treat your baby, and how to handle her firey side. My DS sounds so similar - happy as happy can be until you pee him off for something. One upon a time it would be naps and sleep - these days it is nappies, or teeth brushing, or stopping him doing what he wanted to do. But I think there is something so wonderful in their strength of mind  .

My baby was in pain until he was 6.5mths when he has feeding aversions (wouldn't touch solids and was taking 2oz of ebf at a time). Like you I knew something was wrong but struggled to get someone to take me seriously with my smiling, alert baby. Until the weight loss, of course. It much be hard as a younger mum though - I'm a 29 yo medic and STILL struggled to get anyone to believe me that something was wrong. Sadly people are only too fast to label you as a 'first time mum' and leave it there.

Let me know how the 2 of you get on 

My basic plan here is to keep slowly extending from 2hrs until we find the magic number. And it will be higher than 2hrs (especially after that first nap). When I finally found the right numbers for J it was 3hrs at 5.5mths  .

[anielasmommy]

thanks Liz. oh wow thats alot of A time! last night went awesome! after i got her back down from the 30 min nap she slept from 5-midnight without a feed or a fuss! then she ate and went back to bed and woke at 4 to eat again then was up for the day at 7! i put her down at 9 and she fell asleep at 9:10 but woke up at 9:37...so i will put her down again at the 1.5 hr mark and see how it goes...will post easy later.

[*Liz*]

 

[anielasmommy]

ok so today was horrific!
7 E
7:20 A
9 p/d 9:10 S
9:37 awake
10:45 E
11:10 p/d fussed for 15 mins then started crying...tried and tried to help her sleep gave up at 11:40
11:50 tried again...she fussed for 10 mins then babbled for 10 mins then started screaming...tried to get her to sleep and failed
i tired on and off until 12:30 then i just put her in the wrap and walked around..
1 E (she kept going for my breasts like crazy)
1:20 S AP'd
1:50 awake!
3:00 E (was going for the breasts again)
3:30 sleep AP'd
5:30 awake
she took a bath and then wouldnt stop crying! i hardly gave her a massage and she loves her massage...
6:00 E
6:30 S she was knocked out!

sooooo idk what to make of today but i am losing my mind! i am going to have to work at some point in my life lol my unemployment is all gone so a job is key right now..idk how im going to work with her still being this way!

[anielasmommy]

alright Liz we had a rough start this morning and want to see what you think about it. i just FINALLY got her to sleep and its 10:13...

i woke up at 7:20 and she was awake already..

i did pre WD at 9 she was fussing and it went very regular she puts her head in the center of my chests and cuddles in the wrap. at 9:15 i put her down and she was smiling and talking, when i left she started crying and screaming so i doubted myself and figured maybe shes not tired yet b/c she had seemed it in the wrap but maybe she just wanted to cuddle ya know? she gets like that. so i took her out and she was happy and fine its now 9:30...she was sitting with her father and started arching her back and fussing so i grabbed her up and went in the room with her and just held her for a few since we didnt do her pre WD b/ of timing obvs. i put her down and she was screaming so i def think i missed her window...i gave her a min b/c sometimes she will settle herself then i went in and tried patting her...i patted her for 10 mins and she became hysterical so i just held her until she was basically asleep and p/d and she fussed for 2 seconds and dozed off she fell asleep at 10:13.

so im wondering if just in the past couple of days her window opened up. before i could at least get her to sleep without an issue at the 2hr mark or so. we've been all screwed up more than normal the past few days and she did just turn 5.5 m/o. im assuming this nap will be OT...so im sure our whole day will suck lol i seems like once we have one bad nap i cant get her on track with the next nap or anything i do even. shes obvs very sensitive to naps b/c shes not ok without them and her timing is very key...
what do you think i should do? idk if she even has a natural "clock" for sleeping or w/e they say (can't think of the terms right now) we've got to figured out something b/c idk how long we can keep going like this, im trying to get a job at the Y so i can be with her b/c i know daycare will let her CIO or something and im sort of an attached parenting kind of mom...also if i leave her shes hysterical. i left her for one hour with her fathers Mom once and when i came home she was bright red and sooo hysterical it took me nearly 30 mins to calm her down!
her father and i have been fighting like crazy and im considering our living options but do you think maybe the fighting is affecting her? i know its not good for her and im trying to figure something out for us but thats a whoe different topic.
the next two or so days are going to be all screwed up b/c we go to the doctors tommorrow and wed is the anniversary of my mothers death and we will be in Boston. we're going to be out all day essentially.

[*Liz*]

Ugh  . Not a good day.

When was the last time you got a good nap in the crib do you think? How long ago and on what A time?

Is the wrap your form of AP as well or do you only use it for pre-WD? I wonder if this is making her seem sleepy earlier than she really is as the motion and warmth can help them calm and start to fall asleep. J often used to try and fall asleep in his way before his A time was up  .

((hugs)) about you and your partner fighting. So sorry to hear you are having trouble. I do think it might be affecting her if there is shouting etc going on. They can cry through empathy with you as well if you are getting upset - they are clever little things with picking up emotions.

I don't know too much about daycare as my Mum takes my DS for me when I work - but I don't think many of them use CIO methods really. I think they are more likely to try and use AP or just let them get back up again as if they let them cry then they would wake all the other babies up. A friend of mine said her DS slept in his cot at home, but at nursery he would only sleep in the swing, and I know a few others who are rocked in the buggy.

Hope the next few days go OK for you though - will be thinking of you  .

I think she might need a little more A and perhaps a little more stimulation in her A time. I'm just trying to remember about DS in the wrap, and I know he often would snuggle in and then nod off when I was walking back from town even though it was a good 30 mins before nap time  .

[anielasmommy]

march 11th she had a 1hr 20 min nap and the A time was 2hrs...

the wrap may be to blame some. i do cover her head so its dark in there 10 mins before i put her down...i dont use the wrap to AP anymore but i used to and she sleeps in the wrap when we are out and about...
i babywear her as a regular thing though its a part of my culture...


i didnt know daycare went like that but even so once shes OT if you put her down even to play she will cry and cry and i dont think daycare will be happy about holding her all day. i dont think they babywear.. idk id rather be with her than not if i could i would just be a SAHM.
like her first A after i feed her i dress her and she plays in her gym for 20 mins then we do tummy time for as ong as she will then we "discover" something (i get a toy and we examine it and play with it" for a bit and then i will babywear her while i make my breakfast and eat and she takes it all in. i do a hip wrap o shes watching everything i do. like i had strawberries this morning and i was explaining what they were and showing them to her and she was all excited lol do you think thats understimulating? once shes OT we hardly do anything though...read some books and talk and sing and stuff but nothing too active. she goes in the swing when shes OT too. so do you think she needs more stimulation when shes had a bad nap?


todays easy

7:30 E (i woke up at 7:20 she was already up)
7:50 A
10:13 S
11:24 awake (idk if it was hunger?)
11:25 E
11:37 A (short E idk why)
then we had nap refusal all over the place
2 E
2:45 S
3: 15 awake
i figured i would try and do our bedtime WD and have her hit the sack early
4:30 E
5 she was suppose to sleep and have NEVER had a problem with her going to bed for the night, she was quiet for 15 mins then started screeching. i too her out after 15 mins of her screeching on and off...

soo im thinking maybe she had come to the realization that if i keep crying or start screaming mom will take me out of the crib...what do you think? is she too young for that? it seems everytime i put her down now she screeches and screams and i cant get her to stop...
also she seems to be refusing to nap alot now...we never had that problem before..
idk what tonight will be like.

so as for a game plan, in a couple days we will be home and trying again although i will try my best while we are out.
what A time do you think i should try?
do you think maybe i should just AP her naps for a day or two and see what times she gets tired on her own and falls asleep?
do you think any of our issues has to do with me APing her naps when we have bad naps?
it looks like im going to be a single mom very soon and really want to try and get on some sort of track b/c this whole sleeping ordeal is very frustrating and stressful. besides that DD is not sleeping enough and she hasnt even rolled over in 2 months! im really concerned. i think her lack of sleep may be effecting her developmentally. we will see what the doctor says...

[*Liz*]

Oh, I used to babywear a lot as well and it is great  , I just think it might be knocking her out a bit too early for a decent length nap.

I don't think she is really old enough to scream to get out the crib, but she will be able to scream to get you to do it the way she likes it, and I still think APOP is biting you in the bum a bit there sometimes. But she will also nap resist if she is UT, or OT.

How active is she now? I think perhaps a little more excercise like kicking and rolling practise etc in the early part of her A (once her feed has settled of course  ) might help a little. I used to use the whole 'showing him' things towards the end of the A. In fact, what I used to do to push the A and get him tired enough to take a good nap, but stop the cranky fussing was to show him birds and flowers and things in the garden in the wrap. But I would let him see and stuff, he would look all around but would stay calmer than if I had him on the floor for example.

Suprisingly long nap after such a long A though  .

Lets more to 2h 15 for the next 3 days and see what happens (once you can - I know you have a tough for days ahead). If she is still resisting I really think we should be brave and try 2h 30 - but she needs to be extended slowly due to that narrow sleep window.

About the rolling - J did that as well - rolled a few times at abut 4 mths and then didn't again until 7.5mth  . I don't think it is the sleep - you definately get enough sleep into her overall as even 4 CN's a day 'will do'. But it might be the tummy issues and reflux that has stopped her wanting to roll about. The only motor milestone my DS mastered early was sitting up - the others like rolling and crawling were quite late as he didn't like throwing up.

((hugs)) and ((hugs)) for the problems with your partner 

And I know you always try your very best with her - she is just a bugger with napping - and a lot of that is a spirited thing 

[anielasmommy]

thanks Liz
its all just so hard! well you know lol hopefully the little one on the way will be an angel baby!
so i finally just got her down after 45 mins of pat...she was yelling and screeching the whole time and i figured it was b/c she wanted me to pick her up so i didnt..i just kept patting.

i do think the AP is finally starting to bite me in the bum... im REALLY ACTUALLY going to be consistent with naps now well in a couple days lol  i just cant stand her crying! it breaks my heart..
we have been stuck in the house for 5 days b/c it wont stop pouring out but usually we go for a walk everyday and she gets to see the world lol

i will start making A time more active! im sure we can figure out some fun stuff to do. shes been working on sitting up i cant wait until she actually does it! she just started telling me when she needs to potty too so thats very exciting!! i cant help but be concerned about "the typical" milestones though...but it definately could be the reflux and what not.

[*Liz*]

Sitting practise is a great one for a refluxer as it is something they can actually DO easily iyswim?

And soon it will be time for solids and that can actually take up quite a low of your A time as well  .

But Jacob did just love to lie down sometimes and have a good fiesty kick about 

The major motor milestones she will do in her own time when she feels ready to do them - J rolled front to back at 7.5mths, back to front at 8mths (and promptly slept on his tummy from then on as well), crawled at 10 mths (hands and knees - he never bothered with that commando crawl), and walked at 14 mths. So not early - but not late either. He did get mega fussy between 8 and 10 mths as he was frustrated and bored and immobile  .

Hope the doctors goes OK for you today 

[anielasmommy]

thanks Liz ive got her in the play gym with the ball now. shes been moddy this morning but we didnt have the typical 5 am wake up she slept from 2am-7am so thats good and a first lol

i will check in in a couple of days...maybe post my day today idk yet we will see how it goes...i cant remember if my appt. is at 10:15 or 2:15 so maybe post a half easy lol. im leaving for Boston tonight though so i know bedtime will be wacky.
i hope the doctors goes good too! im sure shes going to reffer us to a neurologist though to make sure Aniela isnt having seizures...so either way im going to be on edge until she has definitive testing done...but what can you do

[*Liz*]

((hugs)) and will be thinking of you tomorrow in Boston. Must be a really hard time of year for you  .

I don't remember anything about the ?seizures thing though so you will have to fill me in when you can. Jacob went through seizure testing as well at 8 mths, but he has something called sandifer syndrome which is involuntary movements related to reflux. It was in the form of jerking called myoclonic jerks.

Hope you enjoyed that sleep  .

[anielasmommy]

hey Liz we are home now!
my brother just got diagnosed with a form of epilepsy that only happens in his sleep...its during transitions from deep to light i believe may be the other way around. whats wicked scary is that its an internal thing in his brain so you dont SEE anything happen...this scares me soooooo much b/c of how DD screams and cries sometimes in her sleep..she can have fits of crying in her sleep for like 30 mins and it gets scary her old pedi said it was behavioral...so shes going to get tested by a childrens hospital Boston neurologist. i have to get tested too if i dont have it then the chances of her having it are very slim.

Aniela was miserable our whole trip. everyone kept saying how sorry they were that i had such a difficult baby...it ed me off lol. shes not perfect but shes my everything ya know? they also said i spoil her but i dont think i do. she seems to be going through seperation anxiety pretty bad. if someone was holding her and she couldnt see me she would become hysterical instantly and even if i put her down and left the room or if i took a shower she was hysterical! idk if its just b/c we werent at home for so long...idk but it was just her and i alot of the time and she was still like that. i had to take a shower with the curtain open so she could see me it was ridiculous!

she STTN last night! and slept until 8 am so i think she was happy to be home anyways. oh she started rolling over too..especially in her sleep.

so we will shoot for 2hr 15 min A time today and see what happens. she didnt have one good nap on her own when we were gone and i tired a bunch of different times but it didnt change anything.
will check in tonight with how the day goes.

[anielasmommy]

ok as far as naps go it went horrible but she wasnt too cranky today which was a plus!

8 am wake up E
8:20 A
10:05 p/d went right to sleep S
10:50 wide awake...
11 E (i had mommy brain and thought she woke up at 7 and had an amazing nap until in the middle of her feed realized she had woken at 8 AH DUH lol)
12:40 S  (pd at 12:20 was hard to settle)
1:20 awake
1:30 E (i had company and she was hysterical so i just fed her)
then she wouldnt sleep at all until
4:40S
5:30 awake
5:30 E
5:50 A
7 S