SAHM's...what does your week look like?

[LucySol]

ok so im a SAHM and going thru tons of guilt ATM that maybe im not doing as much as i could with my DD.we do go to a toddler grp 1 x a week,we spend a day with my mum 1 x a week,which is usually spent shooping,going out for lunch, all v.girly but obviously not so much fun for Daisy! i spend a day or so catching up with jobs and yes D loves to help for so long but again she can only take so much b4 we melt down which is really not surprising!

i get a lot of 'mummy,play with Daisy' and i try so hard but there is only so much i can play with a dolls house,its all v.repeticious and yes i know she is only 20 months but it really does do me in with the small world play all the time!!!

i guess i am curious as to how you spend your week,and what you get up to? should i be going to more toddler grps,she loves to interact with the other children and i feel bad its only once a week,but how much is too much?
sometimes i feel like its all about what i want/need to do and not about what is best for her. i really want to change that.

just looking for some ideas really xx

[Shiv52]

I go to baby gym/toddler group on monday morning, music class wednesday morning and the library for music hour on Friday mornings.  We are home for lunch and then nap and then about the house the rest of the day.  I go to my Granny's an afternoon for a few hours too.

I find I have to be out and about as I am not that motivated to be playing all the time and this way I feel she's getting lots of different experiences and I'm a bit more motivated as I'm out and about. 

When (well if) the weather gets better we'll start going to the park after the library on a friday and probably another afternoon.  I find form and mood is much better if we are out and about.

HTH!

[LucySol]

Thanx Shiv.you know i think i need to get out more with her.Playing is not my forte!!And being in the house i can always find jobs i need to do!!

[Roseii]

Hey  I am not a SAHM but I only work 2 days a week and will be going on maternity leave again at end of May, oh and DD is 18m.

I find I have to be out and about as I am not that motivated to be playing all the time and this way I feel she's getting lots of different experiences and I'm a bit more motivated as I'm out and about. 

Exactly the same here. Luckily we have a free museum where I live (with gross stuffed animals, creepy but DD loves it) so I take her there once every couple of weeks. We go to a Sure Start Children's Centre on a Friday morning, loads of toys and books and an activity such as painting, and then they do songs at the end, also free! Do you have any Children's Centre's near you? Then things I pay for every couple of weeks are an indoor play centre and musical toddler group...Some weeks are better than others though and I do worry a lot about her not being entertained enough sometimes. I find it difficult to sit on the floor and play with her, awful as that sounds 

HTH xxx

[Shiv52]

Yeah am the same, do things around the house or else I sit on here and then wonder why she is whining round my feet!  I am much more productive out and about.  

I had got really good a while ago about filling a box with a few activities (like painting, books, threading etc) and making sure I did them every day with her but I haven't done that in ages.  Really should get back to it.  Its hard being at home all day and maintaining the enthusiasm.  This weather doesn't help either.

I wish I liked swimming as I think Maeve would love that but I don't!  I am only learning to drive at the minute so maybe when I don't have to get the bus to the pool i'll be more motivated.  One can hope!!  I'm not even that fussed on parks!  Such a bad mummy!

[Mashi]

Lucy i am so glad you have posted this...I have been meaning to ask this for a while but it's just another one of those things on my list that I don't get around to doing

Our week is miserable and boring! Monday mornings we go to the grocery store for top ups of fruit, milk, and bread (honestly how much more boring can you get when I can include my grocery list in a post on what we do in a week?  )  Wednesday mornings we go to playgroup, and Thursday mornings we go into town on the bus so DS can go to the petstore and run around the mall, we pick up a few things or browse through shops.  And that's it!!!!

I find that by the time DS is up from his nap at 230, and I have to start making dinner by 4/430, there is not much time to do anything in the afternoon and we get bored. Nice weather is here so we will be out throwing stones down the slide at our park but again that does get boring doing it two or three times a week.   The bird park is accessible again now that the snow has melted and we do try to go there once a week (went this morning) and look at the birds and feed the ducks, but it's another thing that gets boring doing it every week.

We don't have a car (and have just decided that we have enjoyed our one year car-less and are not going to get one until next winter!) so I am limited by the bus - although we bough a chariot this week for behind the bikes and I can now bike everywhere which opens up many options.

I have the program for the other activities in the city (most fill up as soon as they are started so by moving here in July we were too late to sign up for ANY activities that ran from last August until this June, so I am jumping the bandwagon and signing up early for all of these playgroups for next year!)  I am hoping we can get into the swimming class which will be Friday afternoons, and there is a "forest walk" playgroup one morning a week that meets to pick up sticks and stones and such which is right up his alley.  If I can get 4 half-day activities in for us next year I will be thrilled! (Mind you, at the town hall office, the woman did say that she knows for certain there are no other English speaking parents/toddlers in any of the groups as I specifically asked so that I could stalk them and join those groups, so it won't do much for me socially at the moment but will be better than staying home!)

I've also made a promise to myself to try to do one different thing each week - for instance we have year passes to the Volkswagen factory and DS loves to go and look at the cars, we've been several times but still not seen it ALL, but I always think of this as a thing for us all to do on the weekend rather than something I can do alone with DS, but am going to try hard to do things like this rather than just play cars.

I tell you though, I am so sick of cars and tractors that I would give anything to play dolls with Daisy for a day!!!

sometimes i feel like its all about what i want/need to do and not about what is best for her. Cry i really want to change that.

I really really understand this feeling. DH is on holidays this week and every activity he has suggested we do, I have vetoed unless it really has something FUN for DS to do. Mainly because I am feeling guilty that he doesn't get enough for HIM and instead just has to enjoy things that are for us. 

[We Three]

We do an organized playgroup one morning a week, another morning we have gymnastics, and for now those are the only 2 scheduled things that we do.  We end up at an indoor playground (jumping place) once a week, and the park on another day in nice weather. The bookstore is a biggie for us too...ours has a kids section with a train table and such...very cute, and there are always other kids there.

I am not great at staying home either, but there are those days when me and dd play with playdough or paint for a while.  If you get some cookie cutters and a rolling pin and some toy dishes, you might be surprised how fun playdough can be!

Honestly, my aim every day is to do one thing (at least) that is just for dd...whether a trip tp the park, a picnic outside, a visit with her cousins, a craft we do together....but it is always my goal to do at least one thing that she really, really loves.  It helps me alot on those guilt-ridden days where she happily accompanies me to the bank, the post office, the tax office, my real estate office, but then I say "Hey lets stop at the park for a while!"  

For me it also helps me to segment my day...morning/brekkie time, then any errands I have to do, then it's dd's time until lunch and nap. After nap is snack and then play until dinner. This can be free play, an activity with me, or a combination of both. Sometimes I'll get her started at something like painting or coloring at her little table, then I'll go a few feet away and pay bills, get on the computer, whatever.  For me it is so helpful to look at the day in those segments, (wake time til naptime, and then wake time til dinner, and after diiner til bedtime) so I don't get overwhelmed.

HTH!

[mmom]

Lucy, I think I asked this a while back because I was feeling guilty about what kind of mom I am.  I feel like I don't do enough for my LO.  We go to a music class 1x per week and an activity class for toddlers 1x per week.  I often have a play date with one of my friends and her LO's on another day.  But other than that, like Mashi, I am running errands and such.  The weather has been improving here, so on days that we don't got anywhere, I do try and go for a walk and stop at the park for a while.  When we are home, I don't sit and play as much as I should.  I often try and get a few things done around the house.

These last few weeks have been especially bad because we are having work done on our house.  So our house is total chaos and I am bringing my LO everywhere for naps (which is going really well insert sarcasm here) and I feel too tired to make any extra effort.  Packing up food for us both, going out for the morning, going some place for a nap that my LO isn't going to take, and then getting home to get dinner ready and my LO down for the night, is about all I can manage.  I worry that my LO doesn't get what he needs because of it.

[RachelC]

Might not be entirely what you are looking for, but have you seen this thread?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=130283.0

[Deb_in_oz]

am past this stage myself (we now do after school and weekend activities0 but wanted to chime in if i may...

those of you who mention things like shopping days out and grocery visits and feel bad with that as an "activity" please don't feel badly - they can be highly entertaining and educational for kids of all ages - kids don't need toys and activities all the time - personally as a native new yorker people watching is engrained in my mind and i still do it here even though people think it is strange.  Kids in a stroller watching people in shops and around town learn a lot - different ways people dress, hairstyles, voices and vocab (hopefully positive LOL) - it is interesting to them, and if some  of it is outdoors they get to observe trees, clouds, birds, the way the wind feels etc - so much going on that we take for granted that is interesting to them

also - to lucy - i have NEVER enjoyed playing pretend games with dolls, etc - i hate it with a passion.  try not to feel guilty and figure out other things you will do with her that you enjoy *(for me that is endless story sessions, colouring, listening to music or playing games like trouble or go fish...; dh prefers building things like with the train set or jenga blocks etc).  I have suffered for years about all the darn polly pockets, dolls house etc - i bought it all for them but refuse to get on the floor and create these worlds they come up with (which is what i want them to do, just without me) so am glad they have each other most of the time.   If ity is just the 2 of you and she really wants to do that i think 15 min woudl be a huge effort LOL and then maybe she can carry on the game on her own while you sit nearby and listen??

[We Three]

Bravo, Deb....I totally agree about the "seemingly" mundane things in life being not so mundane for lo's!  My dd has always loved the grocery store...while it "could" be the bagel she happily munches on while we stroll, it's also some good one-on-one time, and we have some really fun chats!!

[Katet]

Totally agree with Deb... I too am not a get down on the floor & play imaginary games etc... read stories, cook with them, love it, but the imaginary play no way!!

I just wanted to say I am also past the stage, but having been a SAHM please don't underestimate the value of a trip to do groceries or the bank etc. Those are actually times you can chat to your child & if you allow more time to make it interesting if you say walk you can look at things along the way.

We live close to a trainline & my boys used to love a train trip to no-where... even now I actually enjoy a train trip with them as it is time we interact & talk, going to toddler groups etc is good but it is less interaction. I have a friend who takes her children to lots of activities & says "I do this, that & the other with them, but they still aren't happy"... she doesn't quite get that a child can actually get enjoyment out of doing groceries & it doesn't always have to be play v jobs... TBH neither of my boys enjoyed playgroups & were more than happy to go for a walk around the streets collecting things or even sit at the railway station watching trains/buses go by instead!

Quality time with children doesn't have to be playing doll houses it can quite easily be doing a whole host of things... like throwing stones at the eels at the park or a train/bus trip to nowhere... children generally do love train/bus trips & I filled many a toddler day with taking mine on the trains... so much so the station master still knows us, even though we really only catch trains in school Holidays now!