Bottle has become a comfort item

[Tweakster]

Well I think we created our own monster here but alas I am not sure the best way to handle.

Finn is 12.5 mths and still getting formula.  We are trying to transition to whole milk but had a host of issues crop up like teething, illness (which we had to cut out milk) and then daycare.  He's getting 3 bottles a day normally - sometimes skipping the morning bottle and doing only a lunch and dinner bottle.

This weekend I noticed he has been screaming for his bottle, yes he's hungry for it but also it seems like he loves to carry it around sucking on it while rubbing his head.  It's becoming ritualistic.  So I wonder if he's using it like a pacifier?  When DH took it away from him earlier today he kicked up such a fuss.  Even distraction didn't help.

We are doing our best to get him on a sippy as well but it seems he's a bit resistant. 

I think this started a few months ago when we would give him a bottle at his EW and he would just suck on it for comfort and go back to sleep.  That part was great; the bottle becoming a comfort item, not so much.

[~Emma~]

Wendy we are the same here. All through bedtime w/d Brodie just says 'milk, milk, milk...' He LOVES his bottle. I am struggling to get the order of beditme right, he just wont settle for bed properly if I do brushing his teeth after the bottle. Its such an integral part of his w/d that I fear it has become a prop of sorts.

 No real advice (yet again hun!) just a bit of reassurance that you are not alone!

 The one thing that bothers me about it is MY views on it. I know DS wont need a bottle forever but I just dont want him to be so attached to it kwim?

(((((hugs)))))))

[Tweakster]

Yeah I think that's the thing.  I personally don't like seeing toddlers walking around with bottles, which is exactly what Finn is now doing.  I see at daycare all these kids using their sippies and there is Finn with his bottle and he likes to play with his hair while doing it so I know it's comfort.  Even now when he starts rubbing the back of his head and playing with his mohawk we know he wants a bottle lol.  It's a bit endearing but I worry that if I let it go unchecked I will be the enabler.

I know he's still young and there is no real rush but I wonder if I should be letting him carry it around or just take it away when he's done his milk and leave it at that?  So not to get rid of the bottle yet but just limit the time he carries it around?  Dunno.  Daycare transition is hard and so I don't want to completely mess him up - he's had a lot of changes lately.

Bedtime is tough Em, it's such a part of things.  I suspect we will have the bedtime for a long time.  It's relaxing for all of us.  He has gone down with his bottle in a different order, like sometimes we do it downstairs before bath etc. but it's a nice end to our day, cuddling and him with his bottle.  I am not sure *I* am ready to give that up yet lol. 

[~Emma~]

Oh yeah, I love the bedtime bottle too. Its the one time of the bloody day he sits still for more than 30 seconds!! 

 Mmmmmm, difficult one about carrying the bottle around. I am quite hard and I'd take it away but you are right, this has been a huge time for him recently....moving to one nap, moving house, daycare, mummy going to work.....but the longer you leave him have it as comfort though the longer he'll want it iyswim. Tough one. 

 Brodie was never into bottles until we went to 2, then he just fell in love with his bedtime bottle, although lately during the day he does ask for milk which I give in a cup and he throws in the floor. I think if I gave him a bottle he'd snatch it!

[*Liz*]

Does he have a proper lovey Wendy? Could you take the bottle away after the milk and give the lovey for a cuddle instead so he is using a transitional object rather than a bottle?

[Tweakster]

That's a good point.  He does have a lovey but has no interest in it, I never see him do anything with it. 

He just keeps on doing that head rubbing thing and lying there on us while he drinks his bottle.  Then he carries it around sucking it but it's like dry and nothing more coming out, so he's off in the play room with this bottle hanging out of his mouth.  And when you take it away he throws a fit.  Maybe giving him Hunny Bunny or Mr. Ribbitz in exchange is a good idea.

[*Liz*]

I think I would try and encourage the attachment to a soft toy instead. He probably does *need* something and is chosing his bottle  .

J drives me bananas with his bear bear but I guess I would prefer a horrible chewed up bear over sucking on an empty bottle.

They do decide to do some funny things, don't they?

[mdavza]

Hi chipping in here, Ben does EXACTLY the same, he loves sucking on his dry bottle.  My sil says my niece also used to do it, and stopped by herself.  I get the feeling that the sucking comforts him - teething - and I've decided to just let it go.  One of those things.  But we try to hide the bottle, haha!
Do your lo's suck to sleep?  I'm so conflicted, mine is refusing to go to bed at night right now, after having done it for ages, and I know a bottle will help, but trying hard to avoid it.  Ideas?

[Tweakster]

He gets a bottle at EW in his crib too, that's what started it...and then it coincided with daycare, so now it's his comfort, as soon as he starts rubbing his head now we know he wants it.  He's just not taken with any lovey item...we give it to him and he tosses it aside.  When did LO start hugging or liking cuddly toys?  He doesn't have anything special except that dreaded bottle now. 

[lilalley]

So glad you started this thread.  We are at the same place too. 

Daycare will not allow bottles after age 1.  we have a 1.5 months left.  I am hoping that will help but the bedtime bottle is a comfort item.  No lovey here.  I am not sure I want to start a lovey... but maybe bottle is one anyway.

[rach321]

My LO was exactly the same  - would spend hours sucking on an empty bottle if you let him.  TBH he's grown out of it himself now - he's 16 months - he drinks his bottle and when its done he says all gone and puts it down, as soon as he puts it down I take it away and put it out of sight! It got much better when we dropped his afternoon bottle so he just has a small one in the morning (planning on dropping this one soon) and a 9oz one for bedtime (think this one is going to be around for some time yet!) - he refuses milk from a sippy cup so I just dropped the bottle completely - he gets enough dairy in his diet anyway.  If he's been through loads of changes lately then I would be tempted to keep an eye on it for now and see if he will drop it himself - do you think he would go for washing it up himself and putting it away when its finished?

[Tweakster]

Hi there, well we do take the bottle away when it's empty.  I just say 'all gone' and hand him something else.  He kicks up a bit of a fuss now but is getting used to the fact that when it's empty it's gone. 

The lunch bottle is given by daycare so that's the first one I want to go.  They do sippy cups there but have commented that he won't drink from it.  So he's pretty willful that kid lol.  Even modeling by other kids isn't helping our cause.  But I have reduced the lunch bottle to 5 oz and eventually will just not send it so that he has no choice but to drink the milk they are offering.  Then I will end the morning bottle and naturally the bedtime bottle will likely stick around for some time.  The problem is that Finn needs the milk because he is a poor eater and doesn't get as much dairy as I would like.  Not that we don't offer, he is just all about the meat and carbs.