Frequent Night wakings- please help.

[mandynorwood]

My LO is 4 mo's, he is breastfed.  This past week we have had very little sleep- he seems to have a very rotten night every 2nd night with waking every hour.  Our daytime routine is quite regular- it goes like this:
7am wake and feed
730 activity- low key, bouncy chair and play with big sis.
9/ 920am sleep till 11
11 eat
11:30 activity- if we need to go out this is when we would do it
1/130pm sleep- 3
3eat
530 cat nap till 6/6:15
6:15 eat
bath, bed by around 7/730pm
Last night he then woke up at 9:30, 10:20(fed him in lieu of 11 df), 11:15, 12, 100, 2:20, and this continued, I think he may have slept from 4- 6:15, and then from 6:30 till 7 where I fed him.  When he wakes, he is usually easy to calm back down- we re-swaddle, shh pat and he's back to sleep, but and hour later we do it all over again.  He doesn't seem sick, no teething yet, though this is a stage full of milestones.  If the patten persists, then tonight he may only wake up 2 x, but then tomorrow night it will be hourly again- (we had an okay night on sat. night, but hourly wakings fri and sun night.)  If anyone sees a red flag I would love any feedback- I want to nip this pattern in the bud- I hope I gave enough info.  Thanks!  Mandy.

[coopers_mommy]

no suggestions...but hugs to you!  we are in the same boat right now with DD....although you're getting better naps than I get out of mine! 

[mandynorwood]

We're on the 3rd night now of hourly wakings.  Had to move his bed into the living room and let him cry for a bit- we are desperate for some sleep.  I cannot figure out what it is that he needs- when I feed him it doesn't change things- he still wakes up an hour later.  Really helpless right now!

[mandynorwood]

Thanks Jane.  He is settling really well for most naps and bedtime.  I have been very consistant with the bedtime routine.  The only nap that is usually tough is the cat nap which sometimes I give up on all together- I feel like if I have to spend 20 min. getting him to relax for a 30 min nap, whats the point.  I know there is a point, but at the time I give in.  I'll try today to get him winding down earlier- could that really be causing hourly wake ups?  It's so strange to me.  Thanks for the tips, I'll keep posting! Mandy.

[tarakay]

Mandy-
I had similar problems with my LO at 4 mos.  We eventually determined that there were 2 problems:

1. DD was still using her paci at that point - we thought she was waking for the paci and we were sticking it in every 1.5-2 hours all night long (had previously been STTN).  So, we ditched the paci cold turkey - it was rough for a few days, but then things improved a ton.  It doesn't sound like your LO uses a paci, so that probably isn't the problem?

2. The REAL culprit (we later determined) was NOT the paci, but the fact that she was going through a GS.  The first signs of the GS were the NW's, but then she started to want to feed more frequently during the day too.  I'd had her on a 4 hr eating, then had to scale back to 3-3.5 hrs b/c she wanted to eat ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. This lasted for about 2 wks - I made a big effort to up her calories during the day and the NW's stopped.

My only other thought would be that he's waking due to becoming un-swaddled - but that doesn't completely make sense b/c he naps so well during the day!?  IMO, I wouldn't mess with the A times b/c his naps are great.  If you start to shorten the A time, then you might get UT naps - if it isn't broke, don't fix it?   The only exception to that would be the last A time prior to the CN - maybe shorten that one to make the CN come easier? 

Hope that makes sense... GOOD LUCK!

[mandynorwood]

Well, yesterday I got the little guy down for naps a bit earlier and all was good.  We struggled with that CN, but I stood my ground and he finally went down at 6pm- I started at 5:20, the I woke him at 6:30.  I also made sure to feed him from both breasts at every feed.  He was in bed at 8 pm- slept good. I DF at 11, then the games began and he was up every hour till this morning!  Hopfully he goes down good tonight and I will try skipping the DF and see how that goes.  When he wakes up he doesn't seem hungry, and the 4 hr routine is going well during the day, he doesn't seem hungry earlier.  We're seeing the doctor today- she can rule out any medical reason for this situation.  He would never take a paci- we tried a couple different types, but he just spit them out.  Anyways, thanks for the feedback- keep it coming- any thoughts! Mandy.

[mandynorwood]

Well we still haven't made any head way.  As for the GS- he isn't wanting to eat any more during the day- we are maintaining 4 hr routine really well- BF from both breasts, and for the last 2 days we have added a bit of rice cereal to a bottle of breast milk as per Dr's orders.  He goes down for his naps and bedtime SOOO well- basically swaddle hime hold for a minute or 2 and put him down, and that's it- he's asleep.  that seems to have no effect of the NW- he has been waking every couple hours in the early evening now- which is a new development, and still hourly in the night.  I don't feed him every time- but at around 11- when it should be a DF- and if it seems like he's hungry at around 2 am, then up at 7am.  Last night I went on strike and DH dealt with the wakings and he woke alot, but went back to sleep w/o a feed, so I don't think he's waking that often due to hunger.  Actualy, he hasn't been out of the swaddle every time either, so even that shouldn't be a cause for the wakings- If only I knew!  Any other thoughts???  I'm all out!  Mandy.

[mandynorwood]

LO is sleeping in a cot next to our bed- I do try to leave him until the serious cry- sometimes he does fuss for a bit and go to sleep independantly.  When he wakes and cries, we re-swaddle, then pick him up and shh pat- it usually doesn't take much for him to go back to sleep.  Last night he was up every hour, I fed him at 10pm, from both breasts, so back in bed by 10:45, he was up again at 11:40, 1:20am, 2:30 (fed), and a couple more times after that, but it's a bit of a blur!  Then we had our normal am nap- from 9:30 and I had to wake him at 11:30!!!  Now he's having his afternoon nap- 1:30-3:30.  We haven't been doing the cat nap unless he's really fussy, but he doesn't seem to need it.  And then bed around 7- he settles really well, so I think that rules out OTness.  Maybe I am a prop, but how do I break that- he isn't being rewarded by his wakings- I don't bring him into bed unless I'm feeding him and then he's right back to his bed.  It's craziness.  Thanks for the support!  Mandy.

[mandynorwood]

Yesterday the naps were: 9:30-11:30, 1:30-3, and he was tired so 4:30-5:30(CN).  The night was not the worst- he was in bed by 7:10pm, awake at 11 (fed), 2, 4(fed), 5:30 and up at 7am (fed and up).  I tried out the "aussie swaddle" last night and it contained him alot better, so I don't think that is what is waking him up.  When I settle him in bed, I usually shh, and put my hand on his chest, maybe lightly patting- this works to get him to sleep initially.  I guess I'll try to just do that in the night. Thanks.  Mandy.

[tarakay]

Mandy-
I was thinking about you today for some reason?!  Did your LO used to STTN?  How old was he when he started NW? Just curious.

You said that your LO sleeps in the same room as you... is it possible that you or DH are accidentally waking him at night? Maybe you snore, breathe loudly, cough, etc?  My thought was that the NW might be due to the fact that your LO now has a heightened awareness of the world around him?  Maybe he used to not be bothered or notice your presence in the evening, but now that he's older it's becoming a distraction?  That would explain the good naps and good stretch of sleep from bed to DF.

I may be completely out there.. but I thought I'd share my ideas just the same!  My heart goes out to you!

Tara

[mandynorwood]

Tara, that is a good point.  He has never STTN, but we have been having better nights lately- I haven't been online because I didn't want to jinx it, but he's waking 3x night, not hourly anymore thank goodness.  If we are the reason he's waking up, I'm not sure what I can do about that.  Unfortunatly we don't have a room for him right now, but maybe he'll grow into a deeper sleeper, I hope (?)!  Anyways, that is a great insight, thanks for thinking about my lack of sleep! lol.  Mandy.

[stick1jm]

Mandy, a couple of thoughts that might seem completely bizarre.  I followed EASY from the minute both my kids were born.  My DD (now 2yo) was swaddled religiously (and loved it) until just before 3 months when she started to get to her thumb.  It was a hard concept for me, but I took her out of the swaddle and voila--longer sleep at night almost immediately.  The other utterly strange thing that helped her sleep longer was cutting out the DF.  I found that when I BF her, she always woke up, no matter how careful, and then she was up more frequently asking to eat.  My kid might be a crazy exception to most rules, but just thought I'd share in the event that you had another exception on your hands.  DD slept through the night consistently by 3 mos once I made these shifts--one more reason to read your child's cues, I guess.

[tarakay]

One more thought.... do you have any white noise going in your room at night?  That might help cut down on any ambient sounds you and DH put out.... who knows?!

[mandynorwood]

Okay, well, I do think that the DF is not good for this boy- the few nights that he slept well, he slept the BEST from 7 pm till 3 am, so why mess with that.  As for the swaddle, I originally thought that was the problem, but he gets out of it some nights and is fine, wakes up in the morning and I have to search for the blanket.  Other nights- ie: when he's OT, he needs the tight swaddle until he falls asleep, but I don't think that is the cause of the wakings.  He had a couple great nights, but I'm thinking now it was due to his immunizations- last night he was up to his old tricks again and up every couple of hours.  Tonight dh and I are going to sleep in the spare room (in the basement w the monitor) to rule out if he's waking due to our presence.  I think I'm most frustrated because I started BW from day one and thought that by now we should be sorted out, but when I talk to other parents with babies sleeping every night that were never on any structured routine I am so discouraged.  I have thought about incresing food intake during the day, but not sure how to do that- I BF till he's full.  I attempted to add rice cereal to 1 bottle /day as per Dr. orders, but that caused tummy troubles, and yes, more night wakings.  W/O the DF, maybe go back to cluster feeding, like say, 3pm, 5pm, and7pm, then to bath & bed?  As for the white noise- I will look into downloading somthing for the ipod, and maybe have that going all night- we have bedtime music, and that works well, but only a 1 hour thing.  Thanks all for your help!  I promise to pay it all forward! Mandy.

[zebstiredmum]

Hi Mandy

I don't have any advice for you - just big hugs, and I share your frustration.  I too have followed BW from day one, and my son has been having night wakings since 8 weeks old.  Initially I could resettle without feeding, but he's got to the point now where he will not settle unless I feed.  He is in his own room, and the first night STTN so I thought we'd cracked it! (I thought it must have been us disturbing him) But next night he was back to waking in the night.

I know what you mean about those who have had no structured routine, and have babies who STTN!!  Not fair!

So, good luck, big hugs, and hopefully one day soon we will get some sleep.