So true that babies' nutritional needs aren't the same as those of toddlers, vs children, vs adults. That said, there's still a lot of disagreement on the subject, and if I have to pick between giving white rice/bread/pasta or doing without them entirely to avoid the brown, I'd probably go without them completely and rely on non-flour items if it were that big a deal.
By soaking the grains you can eliminate the hard-to-absorb phytate problem (the phytates being what blocks the mineral absorption), so that becomes a non-issue, so you can get the fiber (in whatever quantities you're comfortable giving, even if small), the minerals and vitamins, and the carbs without the sugar spike from the refined starches, and avoid the whole white-brown issue pretty much entirely.
As an aside, are you giving your LO a multivitamin supplement? Does it contain minerals as well?