Toddler Feeding Struggles

[Tweakster]

Well Finn is nearly 13 mths old.  Phew the time is flying now that I am back to work and he's in daycare.  So yeah he's in daycare 5 days a week and gets his lunch and 2 snacks there.  He gets breakfast and dinner at home.  He's still on 3 bottles but we are finally on whole milk - actually that was an easier transition than I thought.  But the bottles are not showing any sign of fading.

So we have some feeding struggles that I am sure are common but not sure how best to handle them:

1)  Regurgitation - he will chew a bunch of food and then push it out.  He often finds it again and eats it - eww. Or he will just chew and push it out.  Chew and push it out.  Sometimes just not swallowing. 

2)  Too much at once - he will cram a whole bunch of food in his mouth and then do the above.  It doesn't seem to matter if we put less on his tray, whatever is on his tray he will cram. 

3)  Food on the floor - if he doesn't like something on his tray, he will carefully put it on the floor.  For example, the other day I made him scrambled eggs.  He spent a good part of the lunchtime examining each bit of egg and then casually dropping it on the floor.  And continued to do this until all the egg was off his tray.  He did the same with butternut squash last night - he put it in his mouth, pushed it back out again then dropped it off the side of his tray onto the floor.  Then continued this until all of the orange bits were on the floor.  Cat ate them - eww.

4)  No veg - he seems to be on strike with the vegetables.  Any veg that goes on his tray invariably ends up on the floor.  He will try it, that I will give him, but then out it comes and on the floor.  He's all about carbs and protein (meat) - he looooves the meat.  I've tried beans, peas, carrots, butternut squash, sweet potato, regular potato, broccoli, tomatoes, lettuce - he don't like any of it.

5)  No spoon - he is completely off spoon feeding with the exception of yogurt and applesauce.  You try anything else on a spoon and forget it.  He won't use the spoon himself either.  Is this just the in between phase?  Although this morning he took beans from a small plastic fork.  Interesting.

[Mashi]

OK so I know you are going to think that I am not the best person to give toddler eating advice given our current situation, but cant resist!!

1)  Regurgitation - he will chew a bunch of food and then push it out.  He often finds it again and eats it - eww. Or he will just chew and push it out.  Chew and push it out.  Sometimes just not swallowing. 

We get this as well.  Once upon a time someone (i don't think it was on BW, I think it was IRL) was trying to tell me he had a swallowing disorder and could not swallow and would starve and so on. But he can swallow when he wants to so I discredited that.  He just sometimes can't get it down because he's chewed it for so long, kwim? Or has decided he does not like it after all. Or spots something else he would rather have in his mouth. 

2)  Too much at once - he will cram a whole bunch of food in his mouth and then do the above.  It doesn't seem to matter if we put less on his tray, whatever is on his tray he will cram. 

We constantly deal with this. I find that if I give him larger pieces that he has to bite it is better than smaller pieces that he can pick up and shove in whole. At 20 months old he is just starting to "get" the idea of me constantly saying "finish what's in your mouth first" and I do have to give him only one thing at a time sometimes and make him show me he's done before he gets more. So I can only put one or two things on his tray at once.  When he gets too much in his mouth then yes, he spits it out, pulls out some of it and puts it back in.

3)  Food on the floor - if he doesn't like something on his tray, he will carefully put it on the floor.  For example, the other day I made him scrambled eggs.  He spent a good part of the lunchtime examining each bit of egg and then casually dropping it on the floor.  And continued to do this until all the egg was off his tray.  He did the same with butternut squash last night - he put it in his mouth, pushed it back out again then dropped it off the side of his tray onto the floor.  Then continued this until all of the orange bits were on the floor.  Cat ate them - eww.

I would say deal with this one NOW and be consistent.  People have loads of different methods and my problem was in not choosing one and agreeing with DH and dealing with it EVERY TIME.  Some people say "you put it on the floor, that means you're done so out of your chair now, buh bye" which I did not agree with at 13 months when it started but at 20 months I do but it seems too late. We went through a phase about 15-17 months of getting DS out of his chair and making him pick it up and put it in the garbage but that was too much of a reward in his books.  Now I am back to spotting the throws/drops before they happen and stopping him from doing it at all whenever I can. But either way, whatever method you choose to deal with it, make sure to follow through with it every single time, or else just accept it and deal with it until he's older!

4)  No veg - he seems to be on strike with the vegetables.  Any veg that goes on his tray invariably ends up on the floor.  He will try it, that I will give him, but then out it comes and on the floor.  He's all about carbs and protein (meat) - he looooves the meat.  I've tried beans, peas, carrots, butternut squash, sweet potato, regular potato, broccoli, tomatoes, lettuce - he don't like any of it.

I am lucky to have a veggie lover. Meat is our problem.   So we use dips when we can (anything can be a dip) and offering the same things often so he sees them.  So peas, well maybe it will take 50 sights of peas before he is willing, kwim?  DS does prefer tinned veggies as they are soft and easy to eat.  But nothing will make that boy eat meat. 

5)  No spoon - he is completely off spoon feeding with the exception of yogurt and applesauce.  You try anything else on a spoon and forget it.  He won't use the spoon himself either.  Is this just the in between phase?  Although this morning he took beans from a small plastic fork.  Interesting.

Fingers are really SO much easier to eat with, imo.  DS is pretty proficient with his fork and spoon, he has been from about 12-14 months, but he really does prefer to pick things up with his fingers.  So we let him.  I think forks are easier than spoons but it can still be tough at this age!  He will get it, and over the next 10 months go through various different phases of certain forks and certain spoons and so on!!

[KathrynK]

Hi Wendy

Alex is almost 19mo and we have gone through the exact same things as you! Here's my take on it: (much is the same as Mashi)

1)  Regurgitation - he will chew a bunch of food and then push it out.  He often finds it again and eats it - eww. Or he will just chew and push it out.  Chew and push it out.  Sometimes just not swallowing

Alex does this when either a. he decides he can't be bothered to chew it any more as his limited teeth are just not doing enough (usually meat) or b. he suddenly spots something he would rather eat more (eg mummy gets a yoghurt out the fridge too quickly: He has just cut 2a molar and seems to be doing this less so am hoping more teeth will help him chew better

2)  Too much at once - he will cram a whole bunch of food in his mouth and then do the above.  It doesn't seem to matter if we put less on his tray, whatever is on his tray he will cram. 

Oh yeah, all the time. I tried Mashi's way of giving him bigger bits he should bite, but then he just crams that whole thing in instead. It's actually quite amazing just how much such a small person can fit in one mouth. Like minimashi, he is starting to understand when I say finish what's in your mouth, but at 13mo I used to just give him a couple bits at a time, and just top up the plate as he swallowed. A pain, because mealtimes took forever, but if he crammed too much in back then, he would then chew it for like a week and then just end up spitting it out, see point 1)...

3)  Food on the floor - if he doesn't like something on his tray, he will carefully put it on the floor.  For example, the other day I made him scrambled eggs.  He spent a good part of the lunchtime examining each bit of egg and then casually dropping it on the floor.  And continued to do this until all the egg was off his tray.  He did the same with butternut squash last night - he put it in his mouth, pushed it back out again then dropped it off the side of his tray onto the floor.  Then continued this until all of the orange bits were on the floor.  Cat ate them - eww.

Alex still does this sometimes, although not as much as he used to. Used to be worse with new foods, he would pick it up and then drop it like it was the most disgusting thing ever- that's before he'd even tasted it. Got around that by putting one piece on a fork and leaving it for him to feed himself- apparently, forks are really exciting  and that made it a cert he would actually then eat at least one piece- that then usually leads to him deciding it's nice and eating another. Since I've been doing that the dropping is definitely waning.
Usually for us if he throws it, it's when he's full- he picks each piece of food up and actually flings it away- at that point I take the plate away and tell him if he's had enough then mummy will put the plate back (he likes the word "back" as he can say it) and I show him putting the fork/ spoon back on the plate and take it to the sink. He's getting the hang of it well and now hands me the plate saying "back" and then when I move away he waves his fork and shouts "back! back!" until I go back so he can put the fork on the plate. But it's taken till now to get there. I think when he was Finn's age I did a lot of ignoring of this, tbh.

4)  No veg - he seems to be on strike with the vegetables.  Any veg that goes on his tray invariably ends up on the floor.  He will try it, that I will give him, but then out it comes and on the floor.  He's all about carbs and protein (meat) - he looooves the meat.  I've tried beans, peas, carrots, butternut squash, sweet potato, regular potato, broccoli, tomatoes, lettuce - he don't like any of it.

Alex loves veg, he always eats it first, but he won't really eat meat. Again, I think it's largely due to lack of teeth as Sophie was the same at this age, now she's a total carnivore. I keep offering and also use the fork technique, see 3)

5)  No spoon - he is completely off spoon feeding with the exception of yogurt and applesauce.  You try anything else on a spoon and forget it.  He won't use the spoon himself either.  Is this just the in between phase?  Although this morning he took beans from a small plastic fork.  Interesting

Both of mine started to refuse the spoon at this age, although neither of them could feed themselves with a spoon yet. Handy, huh? Just do everything as much as you can in finger pieces, so no sloppy foods, have a spoon there for him to try to practise with if he wants, and remember, forks are exciting! 

hth
xxxxx

[*Liz*]

Oooo - I'm probably rubbish for advice as well so I will try as well   - actually I get more comfort from the other bad eaters than those who have the good ones anyway  .

1)  Regurgitation - he will chew a bunch of food and then push it out.  He often finds it again and eats it - eww. Or he will just chew and push it out.  Chew and push it out.  Sometimes just not swallowing.  

2)  Too much at once - he will cram a whole bunch of food in his mouth and then do the above.  It doesn't seem to matter if we put less on his tray, whatever is on his tray he will cram.  

Ignore this - it is totally normal as they are learning about texture and how to move food around in their mouths. I'm not convinced anything we can say and do will stop this as they need first hand experience . J is worse with this when teething as well.

3)  Food on the floor - if he doesn't like something on his tray, he will carefully put it on the floor.  For example, the other day I made him scrambled eggs.  He spent a good part of the lunchtime examining each bit of egg and then casually dropping it on the floor.

Yep - does this as well. Very annoying. We tried various things - putting a pot on the tray and saying 'if you don't like it put it in there'. Which he would and then fling then whole pot of the floor. Agressive flinging does tend to mean he is done and doesn't want it. He can say yes and no now which helps as I just ask him if he is done when he starts this. Personally I found less attention was best - the more I said no or pisked stuff up etc the worse it was. So we just started to ignore it really if it was bits and peices, and if it was a food shower then end the meal. He IS improving now but it has taken a LONG while.

4)  No veg - he seems to be on strike with the vegetables.  Any veg that goes on his tray invariably ends up on the floor.  He will try it, that I will give him, but then out it comes and on the floor.  He's all about carbs and protein (meat) - he looooves the meat.  I've tried beans, peas, carrots, butternut squash, sweet potato, regular potato, broccoli, tomatoes, lettuce - he don't like any of it.

Same here - as far as I have worked out there is nothing I can do but offer and see if one day he eats it. I make sure he gets a decent amount of fruit to 'make up' some vitamins etc. We probably get about 4 peas a month into him ATM. J won't even try it though so I would guess that if he is at least trying then one day he will swallow.

Interesting idea about trying tinned veggies so they are softer though Mashi - I will try that one too  - and I will make sure I enjoy picking it up off the floor!!

5)  No spoon - he is completely off spoon feeding with the exception of yogurt and applesauce.  You try anything else on a spoon and forget it.  He won't use the spoon himself either.  Is this just the in between phase?  Although this morning he took beans from a small plastic fork.  Interesting.

J quit a spoon and mushed up mummy feeding at 11 months. He also seems to prefer proper food on the fork. Very rarely allows me to feed him at all - but that is no bad thing as he is now perfectly able to hold a yoghurt pot and feed himself. Just makes a bit of mess as they practise  .

Toddler feeding is SUCH fun, isn't it?!!

[Tweakster]

lol well good to know I am not alone in my little sinking boat hehe

So yes the regurgitation, I have just been letting him do it because he's so texture-phobic and we spent ages trying to get him to take solids in the first place.  But it's getting a bit gross now, especially when he finds a bit on the floor that I haven't managed to pick up yet lol.  After all, the cat doesn't like everything we serve.

The food flinging, yes gets worse when he's had enough.  But at that point he usually starts slapping the tray and wiping his hand rapidly back and forth over the tray until all the food goes flying or ends up on the floor.  Tom started telling him 'no' when he starts to drop the food on the floor and it seemed to stop him yesterday. 

I did not think about tinned veggies, we use fresh or frozen, so perhaps can give it a go. 

Also, not only is he cramming a lot in, but the speed at which he does it now has escalated.  He's trying to eat fast but forgetting to chew and swallow what he already has.

Is it better to put one type of food on there at once and then add different foods when the first one is gone?  I mean for example yesterday was chicken and butternut squash.  Should we let him eat the chicken first and then given him the squash and do it like that?  It seems that now with mixed meals or meals with variety that the trouble started.  Or perhaps it was him turning 1 lol

Mealtimes do take way longer now, at a time when I need dinner to be quick *sigh*

[KathrynK]

and wiping his hand rapidly back and forth over the tray until all the food goes flying or ends up on the floor

that's exactly what Alex does when he has had enough. At that point I just say "no" and remove the food.

Mealtimes do take way longer now, at a time when I need dinner to be quick *sigh*

It was like this for us too, but it has gotten much better. Hang on in there. 

Can he have dinner at daycare? My two eat all 3 meals at nursery on days I work, means all I have to do after I pick them up at 6pm is bedtime.
xxx

[rach321]

We have the wiping back and forth too until all the food is gone!! Drives me mad!!
Just an idea - if he's off spoons and not really interested in forks and finger food is the way forward - how about making some veggie fritters, not sure if they have something similar in Canada but in the UK you used to be able to get a veggie version of fish fingers that looked like a normal fish finger but was packed with veggies - also easy to pick up if he's only doing finger foods.  How about home made meatballs - you can get a few veggies in there disguised in the meat. Don't forget you can always add veggies to smoothies if he will go for that sort of thing. I would just keep offering the veggies on his plate and then try and get them into whatever meat dish he is having - what about something like shepherds pie would he go for that?
As for all the other points you mentioned -yes we've seen all of them here in varying degrees, some hardly ever happen these days, others, like the dropping on the floor is still a regular occurance! Toddlers eh!

[Tweakster]

Hmm I have not head of veggie fritters but sounds like something that we must have kicking around in the shops.  He likes fish fingers so that would be a good trick hehe.

He won't drink anything but water or very diluted juice from a sippy so I am not sure how to get a smoothie into him, I could put it in his bottle but that seems wrong doesn't it?  He has tried my smoothies occasionally and liked them but to drink on his own, not sure.

Kathryn they don't do dinner only lunch and 2 snacks.  We are rushing home to feed him these days, and then throw him into bed.

[KathrynK]

Boo, that sucks  Bedtime is rushed enough here on work days as it is, without having to do dinner as well. repeat after me- it will get easier
 

[squeakersmum]

TBH throwing food is one of the only things I tell Ben off for.  He knows that if he doesn't like/want it then he hands it to me.  If it is thrown on the floor - I very firmly tell him no, shake my head and waggle my finger. 

I have heard at some point that often children actually find some vegetables very bitter - something to do with a throwback to hunter/gatherers when unknown plants could be poisionous I think.  Ben is not keen on veg.  He eats peas and carrots sometimes, but sometimes wants nothing to do with them.

The only sure fire way I can get veg into him is to make him a casserole.  Chicken and bacon usually - and then throw in a huge selection of veg.  I cut all the ingredients up relatively small so that no one piece is too big for him and then he shovels it in!  (funnily enough this is the only sure fire way I can get veg into DH without him complaining!)

[rach321]

Would he drink a smoothie through a straw? My LO is fascinated by straws at the mo and he's a similar age? Might be worth a try  - there's no way my LO would drink anything other than water froma  sippy either. Good luck!

[squeakersmum]

I'm not sure if you can get them there but Organix do a smoothie range.  They're pretty expensive here but they're great for when you're out and about.  They come in pouches with a straw like top.

[*Liz*]

Ooooo - where do you get those from - my little monster likes drinking out of a carton  .

[squeakersmum]

The only place that I have found do them around here are Sainsbury's they come in a box of 6....


.....SOOO glad you asked that Liz- I went to the cupboard to check... and they're not organix at all - they're Ella's Kitchen!!!!!!

They're called Smoothie Fruit and come in several varieties 'The Yellow One', 'The Purple One' etc depending on the type of fruit they have in them...and they're ELLA'S KITCHEN not Organix!!!

DS loves them even when he's on an anti fruit week. 

[*Liz*]

The only place that I have found do them around here are Sainsbury's they come in a box of 6....

Typical - Sainsburys is one of the ones I don't get to very often. Still I will go searching. Anything to improve the quality of DS's diet.

Sorry for thread hijack Wendy *-)