OK, so is my toddler a bit odd, or not?! (Another one, top of p3)

[Mashi]

DH thinks that some of DS's "behaviours" are a bit weird and I should not be allowing/encouraging them. I think that they are all normal for a toddler. Would like to know what the rest of you think!!

Mainly, he has decided that he wants to sit in my closet.  As often as possible! It started a few weeks ago and has not let up. He goes into our bedroom, slides the closet door open, gets in and closes it.  And just sits there quietly. All on his own is good enough for him, but if he can manage to convince me to get in with him he's even happier.  And so when I do go in (cause I am curious what's going on in there) we just sit.  That's all. Just sit. In the dark closet.    Some days I give him his little mini flashlight and he will sit in there for 5-7 minutes without making a peep. And then he will slide the door open, shout greetings and giggles and then get back in. He can play "closet" for up to an hour at a time.  DH does not think I should let him in there, because it is "weird" to sit in a closet all day.  

There are a couple of other "odd" things but they have suddenly slipped my mind now that I have started this post...will add them if/when I remember.  

What do you think - let him sit in the closet all day, or not?

[deb]

Well, as someone whose younger child spent all yesterday afternoon cutting and taping and drawing on pieces of paper to recreate the life cycle of a butterfly repeatedly - and now has a LOT of paper scraps to clean up, but no no doubt balk at it as we'll likely have to do another 5-6 iterations this morning before breakfast - I can't say that closet-sitting is a bad thing. Different from mine, perhaps, but not so bad.

How about you give it a few days, give it time for the novelty to wear off while you occasionally tempt him with something new and fun to do - maybe work on hi pea gravel collection (Josie has one of those, actually ) - and if it doesn't wear off by then, start with a timer, perhaps: "OK, you can sit there for a while, but when the timer goes off we're going outside for a walk" kind of thing. Can you maybe make him a sort of closet-like retreat? Natalie's closet door isn't there any more, but we have it covered with an old bedsheet as a curtain, and for about 2-3 weeks she had DH and me stretch it out to make a "tent," and both girls slept under that tend off and on during those 2-3 weeks; it took a trip to the grandparents to break that routine. LOL They still ask to do it from time to time, though, I think because they just like the sort of "cocoon" feeling, and now that the weather is warming up they can go in the back yard and use the little IKEA tent we keep in the garage, put it where they want it, and just hide away in there. In fact, why not make an IKEA run for a tent he can use. They also have the cutest little kids' chair with a pull-down cover that I wish I'd gotten when we could still afford it.

So I'd go ahead and let him have some closet time, at least for now. It is AMAZING how much kids can learn about their senses, about flashlights, about what they can perceive without seeing, thru experiences like that! At least he's not tearing apart your house or pouring paint into the drawers with clothing, right?

[MummyToBen]

I think it is a bit odd, but then so are many of the things that ds does  !! 

Seriously though, I think it only sounds odd because he *keeps* wanting to do it iyswim?  As in, if he's gone in there once, sat in there for a few minutes and then came out, you would not be posting about it on here.  But because he now keeps on going back then the question of "is it odd that my kid wants to sit in a closet all day??!!" is suddenly a concern.  But then it sounds from other posts that Mini-mashi finds something he wants to do and then becomes fixated/determined about it, and that is just part of his character.  Ben will find something new and then will happily do that one thing over and over and over again (he looks at the same book about fish, he plays with the same little car, wants the same lights on while he eats his breakfast  ....you get the picture) - and from what I've read about other spirited lo's they do tend to have this trait.  So, I think it is probably 'normal-odd'  just like much of the other stuff that kids this age do

xxx

[~inbalance~]

Mashi, I have noticed T going into dark closets too.  I always go get him right away, but I'll bet if I left him he'd stay in there for awhile.  I never thought it was weird, I thought he was just being normal!  Next time I'll leave him and see what he does!

[First Time Mom]

I think you have an absolutely adorable, sweet little boy that is curious and creative. I'll bet there's all sorts of interesting shadows in there because even with the door closed there will be some light peeping through. He's probably also interested in how the sounds are different coming through the closet doors when people are talking, it must be all muffled. Personally, I would leave him to explore, he'll get bored of it soon enough and then be onto the next "mission" (as my daughter likes to call it).

[We Three]

Oh, jeez.  If I could tell you the time dd has spent in her closet!!!!!      It's fun..it's cozy...it's different.  Plus, boys are so obsessive about a new "thing" don't you think?  Like I have seen my nephews go through such all-consuming phases where EVERYTHING was about firefighters, or EVERYTHING was about tools...kwim?

If it bothers dh (men  )  then maybe make a tent/fort with ds...maybe that would be more palatable for dh...and fun for you guys too!! All you need is a blanket and a few chairs!  Maybe he'll like that just as well!  Awesome that he can entertain himself...!!

[~*Nicole*~]

I haven't read everyone's responses Mashi, but wanted to say that Ava LOVES going into our kitchen cabinet. She was calling it her "house" but has since learned the word "cabinet". Now she goes in and sits in there while we prepare dinner, etc. She is content. She can actually see out of a window while she's in there b/c it has no back and we pushed it up against a low window as a temporary storage solution. She looks out at the yard and sits in there happy as a clam. I think she'd do the same as Mini Mashi is with the closet thing. It's like a "fort" or his own special hide-out. I don't think it's weird at all.

[LisbonMom]

I agree with previous posters. What harm can come of it? As long as he's not sneaking a pair of scissors and playing The Blind Costume Designer on your clothes, I don't see anything wrong with it. Let the boy have some fun and I will bet pretty soon he'll move on to something else.

[deb]

PMSL@ Blind Costume Designer!!!!

And know what? Adults have obsessions too! One word: Farmville!

[Missy Lou]

lol.  i think that's precious.  he is probably thinking up cool adventures.  my DD likes to play alone in her closet also.  it would be cool if DS was older and could tell you about what he's thinking. 

i dont want to go against your DH, but i think he's over-reacting.  did he say why he has a problem with it?  like specifically, not just that's weird. 

the fort/tent idea from pps is a great idea.  hmmmmm.  i wonder if they make a princess tent?  =)

[MLK]

Toddlers have all sorts of weird quirks, I think if you let them follow their obsessions to their hearts content, they get over them a lot sooner!

Young kids really do love going into small enclosed spaces, my older son still loves finding big bushes with natural opnings in them to make cubbies. I once saw a program by a child psychologist and he reckons it is kids trying to re-create the womb. Make of that what you will!

[Purplecattypants]

I don't think it's odd. There's plenty of literature that says toddlers enjoy an enclosed space to hide, as they like time on their own in tent-like surroundings! He sounds like a sweet boy, Mashi 

 

[Yazzie]

Doesn't sound odd to me Mashi, simply because I used to do that when I was little...!...not sure what was so alluring though, but I think it has to do with being alone, having a different experience in the dark & the silence..!...I was/am weird .. 

[~Faye~]

Mine do that too Mashi. We recently got new wardrobes and the kids love them. They have somewhere to sit. In fact in one of them we have integral drawers and Ellie will sit in that one as squashed as possible and get the doors shut as much as possible. Other times Shay and Ellie will sit in the same one and just be really quiet, I actually love those times, a bit of peace! I think it's just kids being inquisitive. But the fort thing is a good idea, could be the next thing for him to get an obsession about

[Idahomom]

Are you kidding? a quiet activity that keeps him entertained for long periods of time? I would ENCOURAGE closet time!!!  DS1 has gone through many phases of "weird" activity, if you want to call it that.  DH and I just give each other "the look" and continue on with life.  He recently decided he wanted to sleep on his floor after we bought him new bunk beds, this after sleeping in a small toddler bed.  I was a bit frustrated that we had spent $$$$ on this bed and he wanted to sleep on the floor  .  But guess what? He got over it, he slept on his floor for about 2 weeks, and is now back in his bed and on to the next phase, which is making robots out of legos and putting them on his window sill for God to see.