1 nap still not working

[*Jo*]

so we are at 5 hours A time but still only having a nap that is 1 hour 15mins -1.5 hours long, so our day gets shorter by 30 mins everyday which means wakeup gets earlier by 30 mins everyday, i thought this was annoying at 4.5 hours A time but this is getting really annoying, does anyone else have this issue?

Ive been waiting three months for a long nap, im starting to get resentful about this with him.

[MummyToBen]

Hi Jo,

Sorry to hear it's rough for you at the moment.  Has Caleb always been low sleep needs?  I'm just wondering if  even though he might be able to handle long A times sometimes, he can only do that when the deep OT is sorted out?  Does that make sense?!  For example, Ben was taking shorter naps and shorter nights recently, and one option I tried was stretching out his A times to 'push through' - and although we got the odd long nap - the majority of the time we were getting short naps, shorter nights, and I could tell by his behaviour, bags under his eyes etc, that he was OT from the last few weeks of one nap.  So rather than it being specific A times that I concentrated on, I started lookign at the bigger picture of the last month or so.  I spent about a week really doing everything I could to try and catch him up - lots of two nap days, APOP short naps in the car etc.  Also giving early nights where I could.  That seemed to catch him up so that he could handle some longer A times.  But I have still been throwing in some two nap days when I think he needs them.   

Just reading the end of your last thread it does seem odd that he sleeps fine at night but won't transition during his day time naps - this could be OT as he will be less relaxed to sleep through sleep cycles (I find that if I push Ben's A time a bit much he will often scream at 45/50 or 1hr20 mins and it is a gamble as to whether he goes back to sleep or not).  Is his room pitch black for nap times, and could you try using some white noise to blank out any other daytime sounds? 

When did things start going pear shaped with his naps? I can't remember what he used to be like - and why you started transitioning him early, was he a nap refuser? It just might help some new people spot something that might help!

 

[annette.xx]

hey jo

hope you are well

this is sooo tricky at this age isnt it...I have set my dds naptime to 12pm no matter what and I get nap lengths varying from 1 hr 10 to 2 hrs 15 (when I wake her up!!) I did get one 30 min nap but all in all its not too bad - bedtime is set at 7pm and thats that - no changing times just simple 12pm nap, 7pm bed - if wake is 5.30 then its still 12pm nap - I had a few bad days at beggining but was advised to ride it out for at least 7 to 10 days and body clock will adjust and sure enough it did...

this is my super touchy dd that had an A time of 3 hrs 45 before going to one nap!! I was getting NW and EW all the time so had to do something and with work it was just impossible to get her to bed earlier than 7pm so this seemed like a good idea - its not always simple cos somedays she will only nap 1 hr 20 so bedtime is a little OT and she sometimes rolls around for 30 mins before sleeping but she always seems to adjust after a bad day sleep or night sleep - after a few days shes back on track roughly!

I too found that wake time was just getting earlier and earlier and because of all the messing with A times I am now stuck around a 6/6.30 wake up wheras it used to be 7/7.30 tho 6.30 is a massive improvement on the 5.30 I was getting with tweaking A times!! (tho I still get maybe one 5.30 wake up a week!!)

anyway thought id share as you always so kindly help me ...might not be for you but an idea??!!

good luck

Annette.xx

[Tweakster]

Hi there Jo, maybe he needs a top heavy routine, that is a longer AM A and then a shorter A to bed.  Lots of LO's are like this.  Have you tried more than 5 hours?  I would even go to 5.5 or 6 and see what he does.  We only got a long nap out of Finn by pushing that first A really hard.

[annette.xx]

thats a great idea from wendy cos the only way I got jas sorted was to ignore that EW and go from 5.30 straight through to 12pm so ended up 6.5 hrs A time!!!! and even now she wakes 6/6.30 so its always 5.5 to 6 hrs A time before that nap and then 4 hr 45 - 5 hrs before bed!

Annette.xx

[babybarr]

Have you tried more than 5 hours?  I would even go to 5.5 or 6 and see what he does.  We only got a long nap out of Finn by pushing that first A really hard.

This was the same for us.. although I'm now starting to think my DS is going to be a morning rather than afternoon napper!

[katie80]

Has Caleb always been low sleep needs?  I'm just wondering if  even though he might be able to handle long A times sometimes, he can only do that when the deep OT is sorted out?

When did things start going pear shaped with his naps? I can't remember what he used to be like - and why you started transitioning him early, was he a nap refuser?

I don't know your background, but I'm thinking along the same lines as Claire.  At 15 mo, I tried several one nap days with my LO, and just like you they were all around 1 hr 10 min to 1.5 hrs.  It just wasn't enough to get her through the day.  So, we went back to 2 naps, with some of them having to be AP'd (ie. short CN in car on days she wasn't able to do it at home).  We then switched to one nap at 17.5 mo, and it started at that same length, but within a couple weeks was lengthening out.  I did a set time at 12 pm, like Annette has mentioned and it really did work.  Then, my LO started getting her eye teeth (yes, very late at 18 mo), and the one nap started shortening again and OT crept in quick.  So, now at 19 mo, we are mostly on one nap days (anywhere from 1.5 hr to 2.5 hr, but with 1.5 hr being the most common, and some still shorter).  But, when she wakes early (between 5:30 and 6 am), I still do a morning CN and longer one in the afternoon.  I know most people think that's not appropriate for a 19 mo old, but it's the only thing that helps my DD not to get completely OT.  If I push her to one nap when she's not ready, she will sleep only 30 min to 1 hr and wake up screaming mad.

So, after all that being said, if it doesn't work to push him out as others suggested, I would try a couple days with a morning CN and a longer afternoon nap, and just see if it helps.  You may only need to do one here and there, or you may need to do a few in a row to get him caught up, if you do think he's OT.  To me, it just seems that after 3 months, you've waited long enough and it doesn't seem to be lengthening. 

[Nauvoo]

Just reading in and I have to agree with several pp's.  We pushed out the morning A time and get 2-2.5hr naps (sometimes more  ).  We were getting 1hr 15min naps on the dot until I pushed out to 5.5hrs A time.  We also go with a 12pm nap time even with a 5:30 wake up which doesn't happen often unless teething, immunizations, or sickness upsets our routine.  In the beginning there were some days when my LO just couldn't take anymore A time in the morning so I'd put her down anyways and get a short nap but then I'd try again the next day.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

[*Jo*]

hi ladies, thanks for all your wonderful advices, unfortunately Caleb doesnt do well with set times, ive tried it a few times, hes a kid that needs to go with tired signs or the current A time he is at. ive tried two naps, in fact i tried two yesterday with a long drive in the evening at the time he shouldve gone to sleep anyway (5.30pm) and he still didnt fall asleep in the car. the APOPd catnap only works a handful of times. i cant do short catnap in the morning cos then he still refuses his PM nap and what a mess we are in then!
he went to bed at 8pm last night (so a 7 hour A time in the PM) due ot the fact we were visiting family (hence why i tried to get a catnap in the car out of him so he could handle it) he was fine but woke once at 5.30am, at these recent nightwakings all i have to do is come in, tuck him in and he goes back to sleep, but he woke up at 7am so an 11 hour night after a 1 hour 15min nap.... not happy about that.

I tried to push his A time yesterday but we were in the car so try as i might, he fell asleep at 5 hours A time, which we have only just jumped to.
Ive tried putting him down earlier for naps and he refuses them too. he definately needs more sleep at least during the daytime, hes a wreck at the end of the day

[katie80]

i cant do short catnap in the morning cos then he still refuses his PM nap and what a mess we are in then!

When was the last time you tried this?  I would have thought the exact same thing with my DD, but it turns out that when she is OT and a little touchy from teething that she definitely is able to do the short CN and still nap in the afternoon.  I completely understand if you don't want to try, though; the resistance to that pm nap is frustrating!!

[*Jo*]

the last time i tried was awhile ago, it never worked for us we always had to do long AM/short PM for him. his room is darkened, always has been, he wont sleep in a room thats not dark, tried white noise last night and he still woke up at 5.30am and 7am so that doesnt help
Ive just stretched him to 5 hours 20mins and put him down for a nap. the funny thing is that while we are out visiting people (we are on holiday at the moment) he shows tired signs really early so i take him home (cos i gather hes also had enough of socialising) and we get in the car or at home and hes fine, tired signs almost gone.
so all in all we are getting about 12-13 hours sleep in a 24 hour period, i dont think thats enough for this age is it?
We have just gone through molar teething in the past few weeks (all 4 at once) so his A time was a bit skewed at that, he even got down to 3.5 hours A time at one point and teething doesnt usually affect his A times at all so i know they were bad. hes still a bit grumpy, i would like to hit that whining on the head, i figure its due to not enough sleep, hes doing alot of activity and not enough sleep to cope with it I feel.
Hes always been average sleep needs, not low or high really that i can think of. his A times have always been a bit higher but then they stabilize for quite awhile.

so heres hoping todays nap is better, im tired of only having roughly an hour to myself everyday, i rush around like a mad woman trying to get everything done in that short amount of time and then hes up and i get no rest cos he wants to play

[katie80]

Well, if he's done with the molars, then pushing that A time out might really help.  With molars and now eye teeth, I'm noticing quite a difference in A times on certain days.  I've also found that when we're not at home (vacation or not), everything is so different, it's tough to read DDs cues well, so that may be part of the confusion on his tired signs (maybe he just needs a break from the action?). 

so heres hoping todays nap is better, im tired of only having roughly an hour to myself everyday, i rush around like a mad woman trying to get everything done in that short amount of time and then hes up and i get no rest cos he wants to play

I soooo hear you on this.  That short break is not enough and I end most days wiped out! 

[*Jo*]

OMG! its coming up 2 hours and hes still asleep!!!!!

ok he just woke up, so 1 hour 50mins in total, how awesome is that!

[~Sara~]

Just wanted to pop on here and give you some *hugs* Jo!! I hope you're onto something, judging by that last nap

[~inbalance~]

Jo I just wanted to say that some of them just never nap longer.  My DS was like this, and we've had times where we'll get good naps for maybe a week but the reality is that he's just not that long of a napper.  Hang in there though, it does even out when they finally get to a place where they just don't need as much sleep.  Now anything over an hour is good for us and T still sleeps well at night.  There's only so much tweaking you can do, so much of it is personality.