1 nap still not working

[babybarr]

At least it was a longer nap... *try* and get an afternoon nap and then a later bedtime. More hugs to you.  Hopefully Caleb will feel better soon.

[koe2moe]

oh poor Jo and Caleb.  For us, when there's an ear infection, at least DS slept during the day a lot!!  Doesn't Caleb feel sleepy?  I hope the day will go smoothly

[*Jo*]

Nope he refused the PM nap completely, I got so mad I yelled at him and walked away, leaving DH to deal with him. Bedtime was 6.30pm and he woke up at 5.30am. I'm so over it, completely over it! I'm sick of feeling mad at him all the time, what's wrong with me and why can't I just deal with it? It's not only the sleep issue it's everything about him at the moment, I can't take him anywhere, he won't listen to me, he doesn't want to be in a stroller or trolley he only wants to walk but as soon as hdeepes he just runs away, he won't hold my hand, he throws tantrums all the time and I'm trying to figure out what's going on! I'm trying to catch him up on sleep to help him be able to cope better during the day but it feels like I'm pushing uphill and sliding backwards!
Then I feel resentful toward him because if he would just only sleep!!!!!! Then we could get through this I'm sure. How can one little thing like sleep (or lack thereof) disrupt a whole family?? Now poor DH has come down with a cold so I need to look after him too!

I feel so lost with Caleb, everything is a battle with him

[babybarr]

More hugs your way Jo.  I completely empathise with you.  I understand why you are mad and just want to say don't beat yourself up.  You're tired and he's tired.  One thing that has helped me push through my mess is fairly fixed times for everything despite EWs and NWs and bad naps.  It's literally been the only thing that has helped keep me sane as that way I knew nap time and bed time was "x" and I'll just *try* to accept the rest.  I wonder if you should fix nap time for the next few days so at least you are avoiding the stress of trying to get 2 naps and see what happens.  If only tog ive you a break for a bit.  Say noon nap and 7pm bed?

[alohahellokitty]

Calebsmummy,

I'm so sorry your having such a battle!! I too am crazy these days with my LO#1. She's a very very late teether (22 months and still has 8 more teeth to come in) and has been OT for many many weeks. She's out of control as well and I have a new LO to care for. Its about given me a break down!!

She goes bonkers while I'm trying to feed or care for the baby and has terrible tantrums. I can't control both of them when we go out, so we aren't going out much these days.

The only thing I can say that I do is to give her stroller naps. She's doing the 2-1 transition very late and its not going well. She's very very high sleep needs!! She sleeps well at preschool 2 days a week but NOT FOR ME!! So towards the end of the day when she's bonkers I take her and my newborn out in my jogging stroller and run until they both fall asleep!!! It seems to help her a bit. But every day is crazier than the last!!

So good luck and I hope it starts to get better for you!!

[alohahellokitty]

Babybarr,

By fixing naps and bedtimes does it make their body adjust where they start taking better naps and less EW's? My DD 22 months is working on her eye teeth and has been OT for so long now. She's a late teether and has been getting 2-3 at a time constantly now for 2 months. Its been bad.

She's finally napping for a hour every day and goes 12 hours at night some nights. But we still have days of EW's and she's EXHAUSTED every day by 9am due to the teething and EW's. But I can't get her back down in the mornings. When will she sleep to make it up???

I feel like screaming 'sleep child just SLEEP'!! I understand Calebsmummy, its soooooooooooooo frustrating!!

(sorry Calebsmummy, I don't mean to hijack your post!!)

[babybarr]

By fixing naps and bedtimes does it make their body adjust where they start taking better naps and less EW's?

I can't comment on EWs particularly, but I do think that if they get used to sleeping at a particular time for a good week or so it *can* help, not necessarily always, but when my DS was on 2 naps fixing the nap time stopped my bad 45min napper from short napping.  I guess it "trains" their body to sleep at a particular time.  I would also play things a little by eay but it has helped me stay sane if no amount of tweaking or trying to APOP a nap works.  iyswim?

Laura xx

[Tweakster]

One thing that has helped me push through my mess is fairly fixed times for everything despite EWs and NWs and bad naps.  It's literally been the only thing that has helped keep me sane as that way I knew nap time and bed time was "x" and I'll just *try* to accept the rest.

Ditto.  I have been a much happier camper since doing that.  No more A time - it just it is what it is, x & y like Laura says.  I know you say Caleb has to be driven by A time but really you will be surprised how quickly they adjust to set times.  It's how the daycares all make it happen. And it helped ME which was paramount to me helping HIM, IYSWIM.
And then when things even out - you can see where the chips have fallen.  Go back to 2 naps or tweak the A time so it suits.

Hang in there Jo, we're only at the toddler years, we have to make it through the terrible 2's lol 

And extra hugs because it's doubly hard when everyone is sick, I can totally relate these days.

[katie80]

And it helped ME which was paramount to me helping HIM, IYSWIM.

Just want to say I totally agree with this, because I've been there.  Some days you just have to do what is best for you, and like Wendy mentioned, see where the chips fall.  If you're going crazy with it (which I do a lot too), it's always harder on both of you.  I would give the set time a try too.  If it were me, I'd probably wait a bit until he felt better, as I find DD doesn't do well at all with a set time while ill or teething, but when she's well, it really worked and was better for both of us.

How can one little thing like sleep (or lack thereof) disrupt a whole family??

Been there too!  It's tough, that's for sure, but keep your head up and remember to take care of yourself too.

[*Jo*]

Thanks ladies, I'm just so scared of set naps as we had tried it previously and it was total disaster but he was under 12 months at that time. Just wondering how you figure out what set naptime to have??

[babybarr]

Hi Jo, you don't have to do set times forever, just if it helps you to stress less for a while then it's worth it. It *should*  at least stop you getting as frustrated if you can't AP a second nap etc.

Can you think of a time he was napping well on one nap - and what time was that?

[*Jo*]

um i think it was about 11.30am but that was when he was waking at 7-7.30am so thats only a 4.5 hour A time and hes up to 5 hours 20mins so would i just do it until hes back to his old 7am starts? cos these 5am starts are killing us!

[babybarr]

Ok I would stick with the 11.30am nap for a good few days 4/5 and see what happens.  You can then decide whether you want to go back to A times etc then.

Loving your new pic btw!! 

[*Jo*]

hehe thanks

well i forgot to say as well that today we had a great nap, he did wake at the 50min mark and i did pat him back to sleep but he went back to sleep and slept a total of 2 hours. in bed just now at 6.50pm so hoping for a good night! Im gonna wait till we are at a semi normal wakeup time before doing WI/WO for the 50min pat if necessary

[koe2moe]

that's a good plan!!  Good luck with it.  I typed a long post about set nap time but then it's lost grrrrrr... sounds like you got a great plan already, so I won't bother retyping it.