Author Topic: Daycare starving out 12 month old? (Read 3268 times)

lilalley · « **on:** May 16, 2010, 15:19:04 pm »

So LO will be 1 year in 10 days. He daycare provider let me know they will not give any bottles or assist LO with solids after she turns 1 year. I am afraid she's going to starve all day.
She will only play around with the sippy cup (tried for months) and she likes finger foods... like 2 bites and then it's more fun to throw the rest on the floor. She still takes around 15 to 20 oz. of EBM each day.
They offer food and snacks 3 times a day. I'm sure she will have two bites each time and no liquid. She is there for 9 hrs. 4 days a week. Am I stressing for no reason. Will she naturally adjust?

Intransit · « **Reply #1 on:** May 16, 2010, 16:40:33 pm »

Hmm, can't honestly say I wouldn't be worried about that to be honest.....I would think that ensuring the LO's at the daycare eat well/healthy would be a top priority. I suppose they are wanting to teach independence etc....but eating is very important....I fed my son to ensure he ate well well after 1 yr!
not much help I guess...but that's my 2 cents

~ Vik ~ · « **Reply #2 on:** May 16, 2010, 16:51:05 pm »

Ummmm... I hate to say it, but I would be looking for another daycare

That rule, IMHO, is completely unreasonable. There is nothing 'magical' about being 1yo that means they can suddenly fend for themselves. Dylan is 19mo old and only in the past couple of months has become proficient enough with a spoon that I can just leave him to his meals - and I sometimes have to help him even now!

Did they give any reason behind this rule? Does your lo move to another room with fewer carers at 1yo? Will they serve her the food and let her attempt to feed herself, but help her if she's struggling? If they are truly inflexible on the solids, will they compromise and at least give her the bottles so she's getting something? (while you're looking for a daycare

) Honestly, the more I type the angrier I'm getting on your behalf...

deb · « **Reply #3 on:** May 16, 2010, 16:54:21 pm »

Totally with PP's. I'd be asking for more details, and hunting for a new daycare if that's actually what they mean, to the letter; a 1YO isn't suddenly magically able to feed herself, FCOL.

MasynSpencerElliotte · « **Reply #4 on:** May 16, 2010, 17:04:56 pm »

Yikes, I'm getting angry on your behalf too, I know our daycare feeds the kids when they need help...even sometimes past when they need help! My two were both self feeders quite early (hands mostly) and refused to be spoon fed by me, but would still allow the workers at daycare to feed them. I think Spencer actually picked up on self feeding at daycare, but not at some magical age. I'd hunt for a new daycare if indeed they do mean what they said.

~ Vik ~ · « **Reply #5 on:** May 16, 2010, 17:15:58 pm »

Is this a licensed daycare centre, or a private home daycare? My SIL has been a carer in the infant room (up to 18mo) at Dylan's daycare for nearly 20 years and was shocked when I read her your post. (And yes, this has upset me enough that I called her to ask her thoughts!

)

At her daycare (which is also where Dylan has gone since I returned to work at 12mo old) they begin to strongly encourage self feeding at 1yo, but mainly to teach them the skills. One of the carers is always there to help them and ensure that they are getting enough to eat (1 carer to 3 children). There are also no restrictions on bottle use in the infant room or the toddler room (1.5-2.5yo) - it is only when children go to the junior room at 2.5yo that bottles are no longer given.

lilalley · « **Reply #6 on:** May 17, 2010, 02:59:40 am »

Ai Yai Yai. I am going to talk to daycare provider tomorrow. Thank you for your posts. If she was already a self feeder like many LO are at this time there would not be an issue. But she isn't. Especially as far as liquids go. I'll keep you posted.

georgeo · « **Reply #7 on:** May 17, 2010, 03:40:45 am »

My LO is around the same age as yours and although he self feeds rice cakes, cheerios and bagels well everything else is pretty much an exercise in dropping it onto the floor. Just wanted to share that so you're not thinking that all kids are proficient self feeders at that age. I hope it gets straightened out or that you find another daycare. HUGS!

We Three · « **Reply #8 on:** May 17, 2010, 03:48:03 am »

I don't even know what to say, to be honest. Every child is different...would they say that they will no longer pick up a lo after 12 months, because they are supposed to be walking by then? $:-\$

I would ask for precise clarification...I'm glad you're going to look into this further. Seems very, very unreasonable and rigid and downright crazy, imho.

Please keep us posted! Good luck!

First Time Mom · « **Reply #9 on:** May 17, 2010, 03:54:28 am »

I agree with all the others, I think this is an unrealistic expectation on their part. Let us know what they say when you question them about this. Hopefully it's some misunderstanding and they actually meant that they start to teach los to eat on their own but in no way expect it.

KathrynK · « **Reply #10 on:** May 17, 2010, 05:24:56 am »

Quote (selected)

I think this is an unrealistic expectation on their part. Let us know what they say when you question them about this. Hopefully it's some misunderstanding and they actually meant that they start to teach los to eat on their own but in no way expect it.

Completely agree with this, I can't imagine any daycare would enforce this on a 12mo.
My 2 are in the most wonderful daycare, Sophie since 12mo and Alex since 8mo. Neither of them could self feed at 12mo or do their own bottle.
At our daycare they move them up to the next room at around 15mo but that can vary a little either way according to the needs and development of the child. Once in the next room they will encourage the children to feed themselves and help if needed, but there is a big difference between 12mo and 15mo imo.

lilalley · « **Reply #11 on:** May 18, 2010, 02:07:41 am »

So I had another talk with DCP. The owner said she would be happy to do whatever I want. She did say that every mom is always worried about getting rid of bottles at the 1 year mark but all babies adjust quickly. She said she would adjust faster if I dropped bottles at home too.

I need to come up with a plan that I can have them follow. I am not ready to drop the night bottle for sure. What did the rest of you do?

emmabobs · « **Reply #12 on:** May 20, 2010, 08:12:48 am »

As a Deputy Manager of a Day Care Center in England. I am frankly appalled at the attitude of the manager!!!!

As a professional i advocate to all my colleagues that we go at the child's pace. If they are not ready for sippy cups we gently encourage but not completly take them away

Personaly I would keep offering a sippy cup at meal time. She will get used to it may be it may be the syle of the sippy cup. Am i right in thinking that Tracey said in one of her books breast fed babies are better with staw like cups?

something to do with the nipple and sucking??? or have i just made that up $:-\$

Emma X

~ Vik ~ · « **Reply #13 on:** May 20, 2010, 10:48:09 am »

Dylan still has a bottle in the morning, drinks from cups through the day, and bfs before bed (19mo). Bottles aren't suddenly *bad* at 12mo - I think that you and your dd should go at your own pace. I completely agree with Emma about offering a sippy cup at every meal, and maybe trying a couple different types to find one she likes. Once she's proficient, then you can start changing the feeds you want to, and keep bottles at some times if you want. When I was weaning from bfing for day feeds, our doctor advised us to start with the feeds that Dylan was least interested in (for us, the 11am one) and go one at a time. I would assume that the same principle could apply for bottle feeds.

And I'm happy that she's at least willing to work with you. Stand your ground, strong mommy! You know what's best for your dd

lilalley · « **Reply #14 on:** May 31, 2010, 20:21:18 pm »

So I have been working every day with LO and her sippy cup. Still just for fun not for drinks. I have dropped all bottles except the last one at night. I feel like I'm in uncharted territory. Is she getting enough solids? Is she getting enough liquid?

Here is a typical day, this last week at home... tomorrow is the first day at daycare with the new "feeding routine".

BF=1 yougart (I feed her), 2 bites of bread with almond butter and jelly (herself), 1 sip of milk.
Lunch= 6 whole wheat macaroni shells, 8 bites of canned pears, 1 sip of milk.
Dinner=3 bites of tortilla, handfull of green beans or peas.
Bottle= 6 oz BM or formula.

I get her to eat this much with a lot of coaxing. I'm sure the DCP will not coax like I do. This seems like so little to eat. Is it? quick advice needed... HELP!!!!

Brock~Tahlia~Mummy · « **Reply #15 on:** June 01, 2010, 06:29:35 am »

OH Gosh sweetie!
What a spot you are in! Honestly i think you really need to look at another daycare.
I know it's easier said than done but honestly I'm appalled! this is just shocking!!!

You pay them to do a job, their job is to look after DD! Which includes feeding her!
All i can suggest is look at what she would normally be eating, spoon fed mashed foods, snacks, milk BF and Bottle, basically add it all up and compare it to what she is eating from your list.
What concerns me from this list is the only protein she is getting is from the dairy.
Gosh she is just too little for them to do this!!!

DS is 10 1/2 mos old and he eats the same amount as you described on his own, i feed him the rest of his mashed and puree meals.

Ohhhhh...That is like a story you hear about on the news!!! So mad for you!
Sorry you and DD need to go through this!

xxxxxxx

First Time Mom · « **Reply #16 on:** June 02, 2010, 02:41:20 am »

She's not getting enough liquids- how much of a "sip" of milk is she taking during the first 2 meals? I know she's getting yogurt so that's more calcium, but what is she doing for liquids? At 12 months my daughter was eating frozen meals that I made, so she was eating 3 cubes per meal if that helps. If I compare quantity, then it might be similar, but she also bf well at that age so was getting more liquid.

lilalley · « **Reply #17 on:** June 04, 2010, 01:27:19 am »

Well we made it through the week. I had DCP write down everything she ate including quantities. She ate only a few bites at breakfast and a little better at lunch the first couple of days. Today they said she didn't eat anything but fruit at lunch (they served chili) but she did eat banana bread at snack with help from them. Next to no liquid each day.

Is there somewhere on this site that gives average amounts of food and liquid per age?

~*Nicole*~ · « **Reply #18 on:** June 04, 2010, 01:49:20 am »

She should definitely be getting more liquid than what she is getting. Do you have time to give her a morning bottle as well as the nighttime bottle? I'd be most concerned that she was getting enough milk if she is still working on eating finger foods well. I'd also make sure that your dinner is pretty hearty or that you bring her to the daycare center with snacks she likes to eat and CAN eat herself in her carseat perhaps. Something to add in a bit extra each day while she adjusts....

or again like all pps said. FIND A NEW DAYCARE. as this one seems like they really don't "care" enough to be the daytime carers of your precious child.

Brock~Tahlia~Mummy · « **Reply #19 on:** June 04, 2010, 02:01:21 am »

I'm not sure, look back on the solids board?
Google '12month old daily calorie, food intake'.

Her diet is very minimal and she's obviously not ready to self feed.

Obviously you can't change this situation, but if i were in your shoes i would look into family daycare or another daycare centre, if that's not an option could you:
-Give her milk and breakfast at home?
-Drop in to the centre on your break to offer a bottle of milk?
-Giver her an extra nutritious dinner at home? Plus milk at bedtime?
-Keep practising self feeding at home on w/ends but offer additional spoon feeding from you?
-Pack her own lunch? i.e finger food she will actually eat?

I know you are trying to establish DD to fully self feed so she will eat more, but obviously over a weeks gone by and she hasn't picked it up - yet. So I would continue to shove as many nutritious meals and milk as possible when you have her.

Sorry i don't know much about daycare but hearing your story has really put me off, I'm so shocked at the fact child 'carers' are saying this is OK? Would they allow their own babies to eat this little? I think not!

Aly Mac · « **Reply #20 on:** June 04, 2010, 02:12:11 am »

I just want to give you some hugs. I think it's appaling that they are making you do this at the 1yr mark. It's a gradual process, not like this.

It is easier said than doen to find a new DC, but you have some great advice in pp.

xxx

~ Vik ~ · « **Reply #21 on:** June 04, 2010, 02:22:59 am »

Dropping off more (((hugs)))

What a tough spot you're in. I agree with pps that it really doesn't sound like enough food, and the fact that she's drinking next to nothing through the day is worrisome $:-\$ I think that Brocks~Mummy had some excellent suggestions to help while she stays at this daycare. It is so hard to find a daycare (I got myself on the waiting list at our DC when I was pregnant as there are only 3 centres that are licensed for infants in our town), but I really do agree with all pps that it would be worthwhile to look for one.

Quote from: *Nicole-Ava's mom* on June 04, 2010, 01:49:20 am

this one seems like they really don't "care" enough to be the daytime carers of your precious child.

I agree completely $:-\$

lilalley · « **Reply #22 on:** June 04, 2010, 03:03:01 am »

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have had such a hard time adjusting to LO being away from me at daycare. To start off I had to go back to work when LO was 10 weeks old. She was so colicky I was scared to give her to someone else for fear of what would happen (honestly she cried ALL day for the first 3.5 months.) The DCP ended up driving to my work to bring her to me saying "She was so sorry but she was done, LO stressed her out too much") I had to take her to my bosses nanny until I found another DCP.

She would scream bloody murder for her all day too. The nanny said she couldn't even look at LO without her bursting into scared cries. The nanny couldn't get her to nap very well either so I had to put her to bed as soon as we got home at 5:30pm.

Now I have found a DCP that is so great, she will nap for her and she seems content and happy but this new "feeding schedule" is so stressful. I am really running out of stress coping skills.

I just want want to climb into the crib with LO and cry.

deb · « **Reply #23 on:** June 04, 2010, 03:09:52 am »

If you're not able to find another DCP, can you let them know that the option might be on the table since your DD is picking things up according to HER schedule, NOT theirs, thankyouverymuch, and you would like them to take care of the child they're being paid to care for, not some statistic in a book. They don't have to know that you really would rather not pull her, but on the other hand, they're really not THAT "so great." Napping is good, but so is eating, KWIM? It's not fair on your or your DD.

Maybe you can negotiate for them to take it week by week, or better yet, month by month. If she's not having enough wet diapers, for example, and they have her that much of the day, the onus goes on THEM to make sure she's getting it. If that means that THEY work with her on the cup while she's there but then use the bottle to ensure she's getting enough FOR HER HEALTH, then that's what they do. That's what you're paying them for. But one month at a time seems reasonable enough for a start, yes?

And if coming from you isn't enough, can you get a doctor's note stating that she needs more fluid intake and if they have to use a bottle to get it to her, then so be it? They can hardly ignore a doctor's note - and then you aren't the bad guy.

Sorry, so annoyed on your behalf.

We Three · « **Reply #24 on:** June 04, 2010, 03:28:57 am »

And can I get an "Amen" to every word of that, Deb!!!

I texted a nutritionist friend of mine...she says that your lo should be getting around 40 calories per day for very inch of her height. So if she is 30 inches, then that is roughly 1200 calories. She did say that if you were around 1000, that wouldn't be so far off that you'd need to stress.

I googled also, and this seems to be right.

She also said that anything less than 16 ounces of fluids per day is not ok, with 24 oz being what you want to shoot for ideally. So if you could get your dd to have an 8 oz bottle in the morn, then another before bed, then whatever she drank during the day with dcp would be even better.

Don't ask, just TELL them that dd is not getting enough fluids. If you want to deal with it by doing the morn and night bottle at home, then great....but really, they are not the boss here. YOU ARE THE BOSS. THEY WORK FOR YOU. That is so hard to remember isn't it? I used to be so intimidated by my OB/Gyn, then one day my dh was like "We can fire her, you know! She WORKS for US!!" I hadn't thought of it like that.

Don't cry, sweetie. Or if you do, make it a quickie, then let us know what we can do to help you have a chat with this lady. I'll write you a script, even! You don't have to be nasty/mean/confrontational in order to TELL her what you need to happen.

News:

Author Topic: Daycare starving out 12 month old? (Read 3268 times)