EASY - every single day is different, what am I doing wrong?

[Chicane]

Hi alinus

Your'[re routine isn't that bad actually. You have to remember that not everyday is going to be exactly the same. Sometimes they wake 30 mins early sometimes they are hungry at 2 or at 2.45pm...its normal, most people vary their routine every day and babies do too.

Its a bit difficult to read your routine as it is now It would be much easier for us if you could write up your routine in an EAS format like this for example

Wake up 6am
A
E 6.30am BF
E 7.30am solids
S 9.30 - 11.00am

and so on - that way we can see the whole day with all activity, eat and sleep times. After each line you can put in any extra info like the times he doesn't want o eat or if he has a short nap or struggles to get to sleep...

Its normal to worry! That's the mama's job! But really, you are doing a very good job with you LO, so be proud. Remember to try to relax, go with the flow, watch you babies signs. And if there is anything you dont understand just ask!

[alinus]

E 5:30AM BF (WAKE UP)
S 6AM-6:45AM
A
E 9AM BF
S 9;30-10:30
A 11 SOLIDS (NOT GREAT TODAY)
E 1;30 BF
S 2PM-3:30PM
A 5PM SOLIDS
E 6PM BF
S 7:20PM
11pm dream feed

I FEEL THERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS NOT WORKING. EVERY SINGLE DAY IS DIFERENT. sometimes he great with the feeds sometimes he is not. so what shall i do when he is not great? shall i give him only after the 4h when the next one supose to be? and then we might get into routine...

shall i start the feed at 7am/ despite what time he is up?

sorry getting very confuse...

[Chicane]

Hi there

Okay first up you may find it useful to have a look at the sample routines for your age group here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164029.0

At this age the average awake time is 2 - 2.5 hours. Naps consist of two naps (and sometimes a cat nap in teh afternoon) around 1.5 hr to 2 hr with a total of day naps of 3-4 hrs. Night sleeps are between 11-12 hours. Generally you want to aim for a 12 hour day that means if LO wakes up at 6.30am then he needs to go to sleep for the night at 6.30pm. Some LOs sleep through the night, some still need to feed at night once or twice. Every baby is different and these are just guidelines so don't worry if your LO is somewhere in between.

It seems that the 5.30am wake up is more like a night waking. So, I would BF and put him back to bed quickly as if it were a night waking then start the day properly when he wakes again at 6.45-7am. Then start aiming for A times of 2 hrs. But start slowly. If stretching A time then do it over a few days, stretch the A time by 10-15 mins at a time. if you do it all in a rush you may get an over tired baby. So go slow so he has time to adjust. You may need to experiment with how much A time your LO needs...it maybe 1.5hrs, it maybe 1 hr 45min, it maybe 2 hrs or a bit more...it also seems as if the day might be a little bit too long, so perhaps start aiming to get him to bed a little bit earlier. You can give him the BF when he wakes up if he will take it or you can wait until he is hungry. You cannot force them to eat so...when he eats at 5am he may not be hungry at 7am but he might be so try. My ds eats at 5am and is hungry again at 7.30 - 8am...after a long night some of them are very hungry in the mornings. So i feed him and take it from there.

At the moment the morning A time may be a little long which means he could be getting over tired at the start of the day and then that effects the rest of the day.

Don't worry too much about the solids. At this age they are still getting all their liquid and nutrition from milk - its their main food still. So keep giving the same milk feeds. He is still learning about food so you don't need to push him to eat, make it something fun and if he doesn't want it then just leave it - you want to make a good and happy relationship with food so if he gets fussy do something else.

The BW way is not about keeping a schedule of times but its about keeping a routine which follows the needs adn signs of your baby. Don't worry too much about the clock...the times maybe different everyday by 30 mins or more, that's normal the key is to keep things in the same order every day so he gets used to the routine.

It can be very confusing, so don't worry, just keep asking questions and keep watching the signs your baby is giving you. Every day you will become more confident and will understand more. We are here to help, so keep asking! xxx

[alinus]

thanks for advice

2day;
6am awake and play in the cot and fall asleep at 6:20 until 7:45

didnt want the feed

E 9am BF
S 9;30 - 11;20
A
E 1:30 (NOT GREAT)
S 4PM-4:30PM
A
E 6PM
A bath and S 7:30PM

i know the activity period was too long in the afternoon and also was great with the feeds
also, he started to have his feed and then sleep...

sometimes he wants the feed every 4h, sometimes after 5-6h!...

i have to start to be more ferm?!! and then we might have a routine?

any thoughts are welcome
many thanks

[Chicane]

Hi alinus

Things are looking good. Have you had a chance to look at the sample routines here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164029.0

You will find them helpful

You need to try and aim for a 12 hour day - that means if wake up is at 6.30am then bed time should be at 6.30pm. Start to aim to shorten the A times to between 2hrs - 2hr 45 min. He may need less, you will have to experiment. Once his A times are figured out and his day is a bit shorter you may find that his feeding schedule falls into place.

How is he sleeping? Does he go to sleep on his own with ease? How are his nights?

What do you think are the main issues/problems at the moment?

xxx

[alinus]

Hi Chicane,

thank you for your reply

he started to wake up at 5, BF and back until 7am.
then starts the routine
E 7;30 BF
A
S 9:15 - 10:40
E 11:30 BF (only few min)
A solids
S 1:30 -2PM
E 3PM BF (few min only)
A
S 4-4:30

AND 6PM BF
7PM  WILL GO TO BED
11pm DF

on sun he woke up at 6 BF and bak until 8

so where is the wrong thing that i am probably doing/ if...

he is getting better

[Chicane]

Hi alinus

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. He is definitely getting better. I don't think you can expect him to be exactly the same everyday. So much depends on what they have been doing during the day, how they slept, what they have eaten. Not everyday is the same for adults so not everyday will be the same for babies. What you want to look out for is that he is happy, sleeping and eating well and not getting overtired. If is routine varies by 30mins to an hour then I really think thats fine. The EASY method does not mean sticking to strict times its more about reading the signs and sticking to the order of Eat Activity Sleep. On Sunday when he woke at 6am then I think that was the start of his day on that day as opposed to waking at 5am having a BF then going back to sleep straight away - thats more like a night feeding. I think your son is doing really really well. Also its can take a while for the little ones to learn new routines so you may find in a few weeks that it does become more regular. Please keep in touch, I would love to know how it goes for you. xxx

[alinus]

Hi Chicane,

would like to mention that he is not going very easy for his naps on his own, (he has moments, like yesterday he went very easy, with no problem), also for the last week he woke up at 3:30am or 4am. sometimes i gave him the dummy and was back to sleep, for one hour or 2 max and sometimes he was hungry so i fed him.
what shall i do for him to sleep through the night?

he woke up at 3:30am and fed went back to sleep until 6am.
E 6:30
A NOW

i see how the day goes.

xx

[Chicane]

Hi alinus

STTN (sleeping through the night) is a developmental milestone like crawling, walking and talking. He will sleep through the night when he is ready to. I think at this age it is normal for him to be waking once or twice in the night. My ds still wakes once to eat in the night. Its a good question you have asked and I have just asked it myself. You should check out what the others have said on the subject at the thread I recently started here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=171633.msg1928971#msg1928971

You will see that a lot of us still are feeding in the night. It wont be long before he sleeps through. I know you want it now, so do I!!! But it will come.

When you say he doesn't go to sleep easily can you describe exactly what he does at these times, how long it takes him to get to sleep, if you have to do anything to help him and also tell me about your wind down/going to bed routine. He may need a tweak of A times, he may just have moments where it takes a little longer for him to get down...he's still learning.

Lets see how the rest of the day goes, post it all up at the end of the day and I will have another look. I really think you both are doing wonderfully. xxx

[alinus]

hi chicane,

things are going so so...

for the last week he is not interested in his day time feeds, prefer the solids; lunch at 11:30, desert at 3;30, and sometimes if he is hungry has dinner at 5:30pm and after 6pm has his night feed, which he is taking ok. every day he is waking at 5/ 5;30. i hold him for few min and back to sleep for only 30min, max 1h!! in other words hes up at 6 am. he wont take the feed at this time

today routine :

6am -awake
 BF 6:30
A
S 7:30 - 9:30
E 10 orange baby rice
A
S 12;30 - 2:00
E  3pm fruit puree and 2 fl oz milk
A
E 5:30 dinner, following by bath and BF - 6:30
A
S 7PM

I dont know how is going to be the night!

he seems to like more the solids than the milk, and he is taking well the BF at 6pm , may be because he is hungry? i dont know. shall i keep the same time for the solids/ i was thinking to give him at these particular time, as he is starting the creche in july and these are the meals time.

also, i need to start weaning him shortly. at teh moment he is on the BF in the morning and evening, top up with formula during day time if he take it. whats teh best way to drop the feeds from now on?

sorry, few questions there that i need advise

many thanks

[Chicane]

Hi alinus - sorry but I have forgotten how old is your baby?

[alinus]

hi chicane
baby is 5 months and 1/2.

he woke up at 5:45 play in the bed, BF at 6:15 and so. some A now including the cereals at 7;30 then  S (will see pheraps around

hope the day is gonna be ok

thanx

[Chicane]

Hi alinus

I think its time to start stretching the morning A time to get closer to 2 hours. It may help with the rest of the day and with his nights. Start by extending the morning A time by 5 - 10 min increments, bit by bit so he has time to adjust. Have a look at some of the samples here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0 as a guide. At this age A time should be nearing 2 - 2.5 hours. You may be having trouble with his naps because he is not tired enough, then that turns into OT because he doesn't get enough sleep...

My DS wakes up at 6am no matter what - its the way his body clock is and there is no changing it...you may have the same with your LO...

At this age he should still be getting most of his nutrition from milk - either formula or breast milk. Why do you need to wean him now? Is it because he is starting creche?

You have a few options there. If you are able and you are comfortable with expressing your breast milk and storing it in the freezer you can send him to creche with breast milk in a bottle. This is the ideal but not always convenient or simple for the mother. If that is not an option for you then he should still be having at least 4 milk feeds (formula or BM) in the day time - the milk is how he gets his fluids and vitamins etc. You may need to cut out one of the solid meals so that he is more likely to take a milk feed. I am going to ask one of the solids moderators to advise on this.

Finally, you need to make sure he is giving you plenty of wet and dirty nappies. If he is not wetting his nappy the same as he was before he started the solids then he is not getting enough fluids and you need to up his milk intake.

I will ask a solids mod to drop in.

And by the way - I think you are doing fine. Not every day is going to be exactly the same, the key is to keep to the EAS order and watch for signs...

x

[alinus]

Hi Chicane,
thank you for advice. i know is the best BF but i am starting work in august , so i was thinking to wean him by then...its not very convenient,sorry ... i have a busy job and sometimes can be stressful...i might finish late afternoon, and start early am. i have moments when i feel upset and guilty...about it

today so far the routine
E 6 AM BF
A
S 8AM-9AM (HE WENT TO SLEEP VERY QUIQ, NO NEED FOR ME TO COMFORT HIM)
E 10AM
A 11:40 veg lunch
S 12 :15 -

................
PLAN FOR THE AFTERNOON
E 2:30
A
S cut nap if he wants (yesterday he didnt; until then he was sleeping for 20-30 min)
E dinner following BF
A
S 7PM

HOPE IT WILL WORK

I feel much better for the last week, as i feel we are getting into routine

i will keep in touch
many thanks

[Chicane]

Hi alinus -this looks good and i'm glad you are feeling better about the routine. i just want to say please don't feel guilty about the BF. You've given him the best start in life already! And he is thriving and growing and is a happy little fellow. Its a shame that the world is nor organised to be more kind to working mums but remember one thing...little ones need love more than anything else and that is something you can give and have given him in bucket loads. you are doing a great job xxx