Terrible nights

[JHBmom]

Hi everyone,

I've been working on getting my lo on EASY and have found some great help on here.  But I do have more questions/troubles.  My lo has been having such a hard time with his NW for the last couple of weeks and it just seems to be getting worse.  On his best night he was waking to feed at 4am only and would go back down fairly easy.  Now he wakes up at least twice and from 4am on he cannot settle back into a deep sleep.  So basically he is getting very little sleep at night.

Here's some info:

-He's 16 weeks
-BF only (went through a growth spurt at 3 months, which threw his routine way off, eating every 2 hours)
-Just started pu/pd
-His naps usually go to 45 mins and then I have to do pu/pd for about 15 mins and he sleeps another 45.
-He now tends to fuss heavily before naps, which he never did before (he use to settle into sleep pretty easily)
-I've never tried the DF, but might start tonight
-At night he seems to wake up with gas

That's all for now... but I do have so many more questions

[Tweakster]

Hi there, could you post his routine.  I'm wondering if he's had a leap in A time.

[JHBmom]

Here is his schedule from the last two days (basically his routine went completely out the door so he's all over the place).


7:40 E
8:55 S
9:15 A
10:05 E
11:10 S
11:40-12 cry, won't sleep
12 E
1:50 E
2 S
4 E
7:30 Bath
8 E
8:50 S
   **up from 2am-4:30am... fed him 3 times at night

8 A
9 E (10 minutes... waited an hour because he ate at 6am)
10 s
10:45-11:30 try to get back to sleep but unsettled
11:30 E
1:30 S
2 A
3 E
5:40 S (wouldn't sleep before although we tried... too wired and awake)
6:15 E
7:00 Bath
7:28 E
8:30 S
  **sleep until 11:30, then up almost every 1-1.5 hours for the entire night

I'm really at a loss right now.  I don't even know what to do anymore.  He's so unpredictable and he just won't sleep for long periods at night anymore.  He use to sleep until 1/2am, then until 4/5am, and be up at 7am.

Here are some things that are going on with him:

-he's very alert and active
-he cries before almost every nap and wakes up crying
-he seems to associate feeding with sleeping
-he has major jolts when trying to sleep
-we try pu/pd but have not been consistent
-we follow a similar routine before every nap and before putting him down at night
-the last two nights he has taken up to an hour to settle down for the night
-he sometimes sleeps while eating and then will wake up immediately after and can't go back to sleep
-he doesn't seem to get enough food during the day but no matter what I do he won't go more than 10-15 minutes (BF)

His NW are getting completely out of control.  I don't even think he is getting much sleep at all because he takes so long to settle and then he's awake within an hour or so.  He uses a pacifier but it doesn't even seem helpful anymore??

I'm just so distraught.  And now my husband is saying this is not normal and doesn't want to understand that nothing is normal for a baby.  I have break-downs constantly because I'm so tired and I just feel like I'm screwing him up because we're so inconsistent.  Now he basically sleeps with me every morning because he can't seem to sleep at all from 5am on.

Now he's waking up after 30 mins... gotta go 

[Tweakster]

HI there, hugs.  First, I want to reassure you that it really is completely normal.  At nearly 4 mths they are changing a lot, becoming more 'aware', their sleep is starting to change from infant sleep (which they spend in REM) to more adult like, cycling between deep sleep and REM sleep throughout the night.  They also have a large growth spurt which can cause more waking at night to eat, erratic eating, erratic sleeping and complete routine chaos.  So it really is normal.

It sounds like maybe he's a bit OT and could use some help with his napping.  Have you tried shush/pat as a technique?  It's a bit more age appropriate and can work well for LO's who have trouble with transitions.  What is your wind down for naps like?  Is he still swaddled?  Have you used white noise at all? 

Let's start there and see if we can break this down.

[JHBmom]

I try to start winding him down about 20 mins before naptime.  I will walk him around for a few minutes and then take him to his nursery.  Then I try to rock him but he doesn't like to sit for too long.  I will play some music and sway with him a bit and sometimes I will read to him.  The majority of the time he begins fussing before I put him in his crib or he'll just want to play. 

I haven't really tries shh/pat... I don't know where to pat him while he's on his back because he doesn't seem to like anything else.  I take it I am suppose to do sh/pat for as long as he's crying, even if that takes an hour?

I do have white noise... not sure how loud I should have it though?

We stopped swaddling him at 3 months.  He started fighting it so we thought it was time to do away with it.  But I sure do miss it!  It made things a little easier.  He use to sleep so well.  We could just lay him down while he was still alert and he would fall asleep on his own.

I let him sleep with me again last night and even then he did not sleep well.  Maybe something is bothering him?  Someone suggesting teething, but I can't tell.  I know he tends to have a lot of gas as well.  But when he is awake he is so happy, which makes it hard to believe that anything could be bothering him.

[Tweakster]

Hi there, it could be that the wind down is too long for him.  Some kids really just need a short 5 minute tuck in.  With shush/pat you turn him on his side if he's a back sleeper and pat his back.  You are supposed to continue shush/pat until he's asleep but really if it's taking an hour it seems like more of a routine issue, either he's really OT if he can't settle or he's just not ready to sleep.

White noise can be quite loud if it helps, we used the heartbeat sound for a loooong time, until like 10 mths I think it was.  And it had to be loud for naps.  We didn't use it at night though.  But we did have an air purifier running so there was some white background noise for him.

Sometimes teething does only manifest at night, they are distracted in the day by the world and so they don't have time to think about the pain, but when they are alone at night, it becomes present.  16 weeks is early for teeth, but not unheard of.  My son started at 12 weeks and popped his teeth like popcorn until just recently - he's 14.5 mths now!  Have you tried any teething remedies?  Is he drooling, biting, shoving his hands in his mouth?

[JHBmom]

Oh gosh yes, he's drooling like crazy and he will put anything and everything in his mouth.  My shirts are soaked after holding him upright because he gnaws on my shoulder.  We're going to the doctor today so hopefully he'll know something.

I decided to try swaddling him again for his naps and it seems to be helping.  I have the swaddles that velcro so I only swaddle one arm and leave his other arm free.  Or I just wrap it tightly around his belly and leave both arms free.

So I do think something is bothering him as he is trying hard to sleep at night but he can't settle.  He flails his arms like a crazy man and his head goes back and forth until he decides to give up on sleep or finally drifts off.  I'm up practically all night watching him.  He has had terrible gas the past couple of nights and now I"m wondering if reflux might also be an issue.  Because really, he doesn't mind his crib and he is "trying" to sleep.  Something is just keeping him from doing so.

Thanks for your advice!  I really needed another opinion.

[Tweakster]

HI there it definitely sounds like teeth to me.

Good call on the swaddle, we used it on his lower half for all naps and it really helped him too.

Reflux is always a possibility, if he has had any signs or symptoms, have a look here:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0