how can i be more flexible with easy so i can get out i feel like im a prisoner

[nenee]

hi there

i love EASY and followed from day one with my son whose the best ever sleeper i know and i love it, BUT i stayed in for months and missed out on so many things because i wanted him to sleep well in his cot which has paid off.

Now i have a 9 wk old DD and im worse with being so strict with the routine and its making me feel housebound and depressed but i dont know what else to do cause on onehand my mind is saying i want her to sleep well like her brother which makes our life and evenings so much easier but its me whose got no life in the day, i spend hours stuck in the house on lovely summer days and i need to do something to change this but how do i make myself chill more

iv tried taking her in her pram but she sleeps porrly as soon as i go anywhere noisy she wakes up or her eyes are so wide awake she wont go to sleep, and i end up with a OT screaming baby later on and dread it, any tips to get her use to sleeping well anywhere and in anything on say one nap of the day?

at the moment her first nap is hit and miss can be 45 mins or 1 hr 30 but mostly 45 minutes then she will sleep for 2 1/2 hrs next time or the one after is she didnt that time.

when i take her in her car seat and she only has a short nap i then get so anxious cause her easy out of sink she will be due a feed but not her next nap due if you know what i mean.

she sleeps well without any props and in her cot so i know iv done well to ge this far but i need a life but at the same time want a good sleeper, i need to be flexible for my son too

cheers
nenee

[firsttimemummy]

I often have a routine-ruiner day at least once a week - where I take DS to something he will enjoy, knowing he wont get his full sleep (at home he sleeps 2-3hrs,in the buggy etc he will have 45 mins max); I then try to ensure we are at home for his nap the next day so he can get back on track.  Missing the odd sleep now and again shouldn't prevent your LO from being a good sleeper long term.

Congrats on LO no 2!! Is it easier 2nd time round???

[firsttimemummy]

forgot to say my DS is now 16 months so much older than your LO!!

[clazzat]

I think firsttimemummy is right - you should plan a day a week when you know that you are going to do what is enjoyable for you and your ds, regardless of whether it messes up your EASY.  The other thing you can do is try to invite people round to yours - I did that a lot in the early days with dd2 so that she could still get some sleep but I had some sanity-saving company!

As for teaching her to sleep elsewhere, if you persevere with taking her out in the buggy for one of her naps (I would suggest an afternoon one, personally - probably the catnap) then she is likely to learn to have a 45-min nap in the buggy at least. 

I always used to work it the other way round though - I aimed for one good nap in the cot every day (at least), and then winged the others so that we could still get out.  Given that she has a good 2.5h nap in the middle of the day, I would take that as the one you always get home for, and then you can play the rest by ear.  I found quite quickly that dd2 would have her first nap, and then we would have from 10am till 12/12.30 to do something before she needed to be home for her lunchtime sleep - and I taught her to transfer from the car/buggy to her cot when she was asleep, which is truly invaluable.  It gives you extra time to be out as you don't have to panic about them falling asleep on the way home.

[Chicane]

and I taught her to transfer from the car/buggy to her cot when she was asleep, which is truly invaluable

How on earth did you manage that??? Amazing.

I agree with pps...some days you just gotta roll with the punches...and although it might muck you up for an afternoon I tend to think its also good training for LOs to get used to the odd day that's different...to learn that they can roll with it too...kwim?

My ds has this uncanny ability to fall asleep in car or buggy (not in the buggy anymore - boo hoo) and wake up the minute we turn the corner into our street...so doing the transfer has never happened over here. How does he know that we are home?

[nenee]

I totally agree with all your advice.

iv got to do the school pick up now shes due to nap from 12.30 when i need to leave i will drive around a bit but she will have had 30 mins when i get to school my ds is then noisy as he gets into car sometimes she will carry on sleeping on way home and may get a further 15 or 20 mins more, if shes still asleep i bring her in the house still in her car seat and put her in he room but she can wake up not long after, i darent un strap her and put her in her cot as i know she would wake up.

how DID U GET YOUR LO TO GET USE TO TRANSFERRING BACK INTO THE COT? i would love to now and start doing that as my lo can wake with just the car engine stopping ahh

cheers

[firsttimemummy]

DS used to not go back to sleep once the car stopped, but now he is older he wakes up, walks into the house, takes off his shoes, etc then I just take him to bed and he goes back to sleep  )

[clazzat]

how DID U GET YOUR LO TO GET USE TO TRANSFERRING BACK INTO THE COT? i would love to now and start doing that as my lo can wake with just the car engine stopping ahh

I did it with both of them - basically you just keep trying.  Every time they fall asleep in the car but haven't had enough sleep by the time you get home you take them inside and put them to bed.  I found that up to about 20-25 mins sleep in the car was okay, but more than that meant that they wouldn't go back to sleep when they got into bed.  The other thing is to get them into bed as quickly as you can - so don't bother taking off coats/layers (and if they are wearing shoes, take them off in the car - I normally do it before I start driving if I think she is going to fall asleep on the way home).  It didn't always work in the early days, but I was determined to get them used to it and they did - and mine are very different sleep types: dd1 is angel (so not surprising that I could get away with it) but dd2 is touchy and I was quite surprised when it worked in the end.

[MummyToBen]

Clare - that sounds great!

We also have alwas covered DS over for naps in his pushchair or carseat - it really helps him to fall asleep more quickly, and to stay asleep longer.  We have a dark covered blanket that we put over the seat like a tent!

x

[nenee]

how DID U GET YOUR LO TO GET USE TO TRANSFERRING BACK INTO THE COT? i would love to now and start doing that as my lo can wake with just the car engine stopping ahh

I did it with both of them - basically you just keep trying.  Every time they fall asleep in the car but haven't had enough sleep by the time you get home you take them inside and put them to bed.  I found that up to about 20-25 mins sleep in the car was okay, but more than that meant that they wouldn't go back to sleep when they got into bed.  The other thing is to get them into bed as quickly as you can - so don't bother taking off coats/layers (and if they are wearing shoes, take them off in the car - I normally do it before I start driving if I think she is going to fall asleep on the way home).  It didn't always work in the early days, but I was determined to get them used to it and they did - and mine are very different sleep types: dd1 is angel (so not surprising that I could get away with it) but dd2 is touchy and I was quite surprised when it worked in the end.

hi ya

when did you find your dd1 and dd2 would carry on sleeping once put in cot? my dd is 9 wks old is it to young to expect her to do so? or would you try anyway, so if shes had a good 45 mins you found they will wake up as had a good nap there but if less you have found they will go back to sleep?

did your daughters ever sleep well in the pram and did they wake up once the pram was stationery?

when did your children start to sleep through also?

my dd has a dream feed at 11 pm then wakes around 4 am then wakes at 7 am do you think she wontbe long before the 4 am drops away?

cheers

[clazzat]

I would try it from now - dd1 transferred pretty easily from very early on (but then we knew when she was tired because she fell asleep - even just lying on the floor!); it took a few weeks to teach dd2 and it didn't always work.  I think if she has slept as much as 45 mins then she has had one sleep cycle and won't need to sleep further - so you should always be trying to transfer before a sleep cycle is complete.

They both did sleep in the pram, but I never really used it because I would transfer them when I got home - I didn't really want them sleeping in the pram because I figured that in the long run they wouldn't sleep as long.

dd1 slept through from the df at 10 till 7am from 10 weeks, dd2 is a trickier prospect and still isn't reliably sleeping through.  One feed between df and 7am is pretty good at this age, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[nenee]

Hi there

My DD has been doing well with her naps in the day, until her cat nap at 4 ish pm....

i decided after spending all day in the house whilst she slept to go out shopping and thought she may sleep in the car or pram for her nap.. she only slept for 15 mins in the car and woke up eyes wide i put her in her pram but she would not go back off....

so by bedtime she was not happy very OT and screamed for 45 minutes before going to sleep...

i now dread going out because i know she wont sleep and then i have the bedtime screaming to deal with and Im dreading going out now and feel anxious if i do

I really dont know what to do anymore, are there any tips on settling an OT baby, and will she be able to cope with a short nap as she gets older and cry less as the weeks go by if i do eventually get out

how did you all cope with my dilema help

nenee

[firsttimemummy]

you could try an early bedtime - DS can go as early as 6pm and his bedtime doesn't seem to effect his morning wakening time, and more often than not he catches up on the sleep that he missed during the day (but not always!)

[Chicane]

Hi nenee

Sending you hugs.

We always struggled with the CN right from the beginning. I finally stopped trying as the battle to get him down just wasn't worth it. It meant that for a long while he had early BT sometimes (a lot of the time) as early as 5.30pm and occasionally 5pm. If the CN is a struggle then the remedy is an early BT.

She will get better at coping with OT as she gets older, absolutely.

As far as settling tips...what are you trying now? have you developed a shh/pat method? What is your wind down routine like? How long does it last? Have you worked out what type she is?

Are you able to post up what a typical day looks like in an EAS format? You may find it helps to keep a log for 3 days to see if there are any patterns that might point towards the source of your issues...

I know that anxious feeling so well! I still sometimes feel it if I know I am going to miss nap time and my son is 9 months! But i remind myself that tomorrow is another day, babies cry as that's what they are built to do, and it will all work out in the wash. Its understandable that you are exhausted and anxious and all the other things that come with motherhood. I can promise you that it will change and it will change soon and you will look back on this time and marvel at how you did it. x

[nenee]

Hi ya

I was thinking that 5.30 to 6 was too early and she would wake the crack of dawn, but that would work i reckon as she defo likes to go to bed early, at the mo its in between 6 pm to 6.30 pm and she sleeps threw till 5.30 am ish do you think thats what the problem is?

if your lo have gone as early as 5 pm ish what time did they wake? cause when she wakes before 6 am i put her straight back and she will sleep until i wake her up at 7 am ish so iv just thought maybe i do what youv jusy said and put for bed at 5 pm ish

thanks for that i just thought it would be too early

when do you think its best to go out in the day which nap is the best to mess up so to speak i was thinking the lunch time one then she could catch up later?

thanks for your help

nenee