Hello
I hope it’s ok for me to post on more than one board with my 9 month old’s sleep issues. I’ve been getting support on the naps board, but I also need some advice on the nights.
We started tackling the naps a month ago and we’ve had quite a lot of success although it’s not perfect. We do a good wind-down and then I use the tummy stroking method, sitting next to her cot and telling her it’s sleepy time now. Mostly she falls asleep after 10-15 minutes. A little over half of her naps are long ones (more than one hour), but still plenty of her naps are the old 30 or 35 minute ones! There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to it. I have watched her on the monitor, rouse from sleep cycle and put herself back to sleep, so that’s positive, but it’s only been a few times. Her awake times between naps are 3-4 hours, but I try to go with her tired signs. When I started all this I said that I’d wait until the naps were totally sorted (1 and a half to 2 hour naps twice a day) before tackling the nights, but I’m wondering whether we’re ever going to get great naps from her – I could be waiting forever! I’m desperate to tackle the nights but I’m also putting then off because I’m terrified they’re going to be so difficult and we’re all going to be so sleep deprived! I’m back to work in 2 months so I really want to get things sorted before that.
We currently have the cot in a sidecar arrangement tied onto our bed. I BF her to sleep and do the same every time she wakes (which is A LOT!) I manage to escape in the evenings and she’ll go for 2-3 hours, but often when I go back when she wakes I find it difficult to move away – she just knows and wakes up. The only way I can get any sleep is to just lie there and leave my boob uncovered. I don’t know whether I wake every time she latches on. This is the only way I’ve been able to get any sleep these past few months, but I’m desperate to stop this arrangement! Not only is it not good for her, but my back and shoulders are so painful because I have to lie in the same position all night. We attempted to tackle the nights a couple of weeks ago and it was so hideous we couldn’t continue, so I reverted to the AP method on the second night. I know it was cruel to put her through that and then revert, but she woke about every hour. We were all so sleep deprived and miserable the next day.
The plan now is that my mum (who she knows really well and who does about half of her naps) will do the first night or two. We’re going to move the cot into the nursery and my mum will sleep in there with her. She’ll use the tummy stroking method that we’ve been using for naps. We think it’s better if she doesn’t see me when she wakes, although I know I’ll have to feed her sometimes as she’s used to getting quite a lot of milk at night. We’ll try and limit feeds to every four hours, obviously with the hope of reducing that.
I guess my question is, do you think we can actually tackle the nights with a baby who wakes so frequently? Have other people tackled the nights with such a frequent waker and had success? How long might it take? Do I need to wait until the naps are better or should I just go for it? I suppose there’s always the chance that she won’t wake as often if she can’t smell me lying next to her. She is very close to crawling so I’m hoping once she does she might sleep a little longer as she’ll be more physically tired. I’ve tried dummies with no success, but she does have a stuffed rabbit which she chews the ears of sometimes when she’s falling asleep in the day.
Sorry it’s such a long message – thanks for reading! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Sarah
