Spirited 10mo challenging at meal times

[Brock~Tahlia~Mummy]

Hi there,

This is a long post - sorry but bear with me.

My 10mo is really difficult to feed. Basically he is getting very bored in the high chair and throws everything!
The ONLY way i get this little rascal to eat is use distraction, the problem is I'm running out of new toys! I use boxes, pasta packets, cooking utensils, you name it i have given it too him.
I just don't look forward to meal times - it's such a struggle.

When i first put him in his chair he is fine, he will eat a small amount of finger food then throw it away. So I continue to spoon feed - he hits the spoon or shakes his head 'no'. If i offer a new toy or something else to entertain him with he opens his mouth for food and quite happily eats it. He keeps opening his mouth for more too.
The problem is getting bigger as now he throws everything i give him on the floor so i have nothing to distract him with.
Even when i tie the toy or object it to his table and re-offer he is fine for a few minuted then starts to fuss and squirm and shake his head, so again i go to the pantry get a new box of 'something' and the whole thing starts all over again! It's a headache!
Now i cannot tell if he is hungry or not? Is he only eating because he's distracted? or is he hungry and bored?
He's doing the same with bottles, the first bottle he will drink 180ml-240mils then once he's done he hits the bottle.

To give you an idea of what he is eating here is what his day looks like_

7am wake
7.30am Bottle 180-240mils
8.15/8.30am Breakfast 1/2 wheetbix 1small mashed banana 60mils milk added - few bites of wholemeal toast with cheese spread.
9.30-snack offered 1-2 mum mums sips of bottle water
12.30-1pm bottle offered until 3weeks ago he drank 140 to 180mils now usually hits the bottle and doesn't drink anything, water is offered he has a few sips.
1.30 Lunch 140grams of meat and veggies home made baby food, 5/6tablespoons yogurt, 2 green beans 4 pasta spirals
3pm snack offered mum mum - usually refuses but will sip water
5/5.30dinner (same as lunch - finger food can be alternated with different veggies)
7.30pm Bottle offered - usually refuses and hits it but will drink 180mils or so of water in a bottle.

It apperas he is a good 'solid' eater (if distracted) not so good at milk ATM - I've tried a few different times to offer milk but he just refuses.
Don't know if i should keep this up with the distraction?
Or do i take the fussing as no?
If so why does he eat when distracted?

I've tried singing, clapping and being very OTT happy at meal time and nothing, distraction is the only way! HE is very clingy ATM too-which is very unlike him. He's not crawling yet but showing definite signs and whinges A LOT!
I feel like i just don't know what to do anymore, i'm only persistant in feeding him because he's my baby and i love him, but sometimes i feel like just giving up and taking him out of his chair-but i don't.

Also would any one drop a meat and veg and change it for wheetbix as i can add milk? I know milk is so posed to be more important than solids, but then again he is only 6weeks form 1!
Ay ya yay! I don't know!!!
I started using distraction at around 7months as other mums and websites and baby food books suggested is a good idea when he started to get bored...Now it's like and eating prop! I've APOP'ed haven't i??? It was never this bad in the past though some feeds we wouldn't need it at all, but the 3weeks have been a nightmare!
HELP!
He's in size 1 clothes, 11kg's 95th and 75th percentile.

[First Time Mom]

(((hugs))), sorry I don't have any suggestions for you as my ds is the same at 9 months. The throwing, the fussing, the MESS of food all over the high chair and floor . Today I actually had to give him an extra bath after his breakfast! All I can say is to keep at it, and try to make it fun. The one thing I do when he starts to really fuss and not eat is that I do pull him out of his chair, I'll go and play for a little while and then try again in 15-30 minutes and he will often eat a little more of his meal. My ds is not a huge fan of his solids, he's now in the 10% for weight, he bfs well, I do not force the food issue- I make it as fun as possible as I don't want to turn him off from trying new foods.

[Brock~Tahlia~Mummy]

I follwed 'his lead' at lunch, he ate his finger foods - 4 pasta spirals 2 beans threw the rest and behaved like i explained in my post. I tried one toy he threw it, another and another! He ended up having 2 tiny teaspoons of puree meat and veg and 4 teaspoons of yogurt.
He refused the 3pm mum-mum snack - well took a bite and threw it.

I'm so confused! I asked my mum and she said babies won't starve them selves, she said if anything DS will end up drinking more milk. That's good but not for the behaviour in the chair for solids, i just hope some one has gone through this and it's just a phase...

[Manueli]

Oh, I can see that you get all stressed out. But your mum is right, babies don't starve themselves. So first of all you should relax a bit. Plus he is in the 95th and 75th percentile, so nothing to worry about right now. I also think that he is now used to having a distraction during eating times and that might cause some of the problems. I am not a big fan of distractions, but then my LO was never that fussy with food. He does throw everything on the floor though. I don't even react to it, I just pick it up eventually after offering other food in between and he will then eat it or not. I must admit, I don't really care about any mess so I don't worry about the throwing very much. I know that it is just for now since he is still so young. And with time he throws less and less food to the floor unless he is done eating (and basically just plays with his food).

I am not sure how you react when he throws food to the floor, but don't let him know that it disturbs you. I might be wrong, but I think he still has plenty of time to learn that he shouldn't do that. If I would be you I would stop those distractions, offer him food (always a variety so he has something to choose from), keep picking up until he starts throwing everything on the floor (which I see as a sign that he is done) and take him out of the seat. You can offer him another snack after a couple hours if you want. If you do that for a while he should learn that eating time is there to eat food, not play. And as I said, they don't starve themselves.

He might also be less interested in food due to teething. Or he wants to start being more active and is frustrated that he isn't crawling yet. I think if you don't worry about it too much this phase should be over before you know it.

Good luck.

[deb]

If he gets that way I'd take him out of his chair and let him be for a while. He may be at a developmental stage where experimenting with gravity and watching your face for reactions trumps his interest in food, and no amount of cajoling will change that for the better. If anything, it might make him an entertainment junkie.

I also agree that he won't starve himself. Given his percentiles, it sounds like he's doing just fine.

He's not quite a year old, so worrying about his "behavior in the chair" is premature. He's doing everything a LO his age is "supposed" to be doing. When he's past this blip and really ready to be sitting in the chair eating solids, he will.

[Brock~Tahlia~Mummy]

OK it's making a little more sense, Brock is an entertainment Junkie!!! That's for sure i just can't keep up with his stimulation needs, I'm looking into hiring large toys like monkey bars, mini play gyms for older babies to practise pulling him self up.
I've spent $$$ a lot on toys lately...

Re feed time- You guys would have been proud of my new outlook on food...
This morning i did all the same forewarning and got his breakfast ready before putting him in his chair and gave him a selection of toast with cream cheese spread, mini sandwiches, banana fingers and tiny banana pieces too. One at a time of course, we ate together we usually do this and it's fine until he is over it, so today when he was over it i started eating my wheetbix and offered his, he shook his head (no) so i let him be and he picked up his toast and began eating again he was watching me so i offered again his cereal he opened his mouth!!! Couldn't believe it!
So i allowed 15 minutes in the high chair and just offed his cereal in between his self feeding. He did get cranky and fussy but i wanted to see what would happened if i ignore the behaviour and kept eating, well he would stop fussing with in a minute -either open his mouth or eat his finger food. He ate equivalent to 1/2 piece of toast and 40mils milk with maybe 1/4 wheetbix with maybe a 1/4 mash banana plus 2 bites of banana.
I decided in my mind that i wouldn't let it stress me and everytime he opened his mouth i clapped and said 'good eating bubba YAY!'
I looked at the clock 15mins had passed so i finished up, i was happy he was happy - maybe still hungry I don't know but he definitely was not fussy

I think i will handle it this way and stay consistant, like sleep training - I guess?
I want him to learn that high chair means food and if he gets bored and cranky he has a choice to eat or not, but mummy will still eat and be happy. I think if i allow 15minutes it's short enough so he doesn't get too wound up yet long enough to give him the opportunity to eat.

RE throwing food, no i don't react, even when he threw the toys. I only picked them up once he was out of the chair. I'm not worried about cleaning the mess from the food, it's fine really.

[Manueli]

Good work with the feeding time. I agree, you have to be consistent. If they get used to playing during eating times than that's what they always want. Our LO also picks on his food while I spoon feed, it seems to keep him occupied. Hope you continue to have success.

[Khalam's Mama]

Sounds good and alot like us. I can get really stressed inside that ds doesn't eat esp when we have family around with is at least one meal a day. We eat together as you said and if ds refuses i just continue eating. sometimes offering sips of water and then going back to food helps. DS is much better if i put one piece of food on the tray that is bite sized and he just pops it in. We were done with purees a good 2 or 3 months ago as it was less motivating to ds but i know this is quite early. toys and distraction were more troble then they were help as he just constantly points for the next thing as soon as he has time to drop the last.

[Brock~Tahlia~Mummy]

Hi guys...Just an update...

Things seem to be going really well, he seems quite relaxed in his high chair now and either eats his finger food or waits for his mashes and purees. I've extended the time in the HC now as he is happy enough to sit their to be fed. Sure he still gets a little bored and plays up a little, i ignore it and eat myself and he eats or wait for the next spoonful. He ate a full meal last night and a full meal this morning, in 20minutes we were all done!
So being consistant with this is really working, i sing his favourite song and chat about his new words too, like dog, cat, mama, daddy, car, horse, car, bath. Just like a general conversation YKWIM?
Thank goodness, no more stress, no more worry re solids (for now any way).
Also he's drinking more milk now too, so i'm guessing i was over feeding him before.

Thanks guys 

[Manueli]

Yeah, that is great. Good work!

[locura]

This is exactly what we are experiencing with our spirited 10,5 mo old LO! Thanks to this thread I´ve gotten some new ideas as to how to approach it. Thank you!

[jennyandgraham]

Have you tried letting him spoonfeed himself with a teaspoon (easier to manipulate than a plastic spoon)?  The dexterity challange might keep him a bit more occupied than you feeding him with a spoon.  DD is 10.5 months and manages fine.  If she's in a throw the spoon on the floor mood, I take the spoon from her quickly after it has been in the mouth and hand her a new one.  Some days she is very businesslike, others she tries to drop the spoon over the side every time if I don't grab it quickly.