Please tell me this will work...experiences? Big Update!

[M2M]

So, took DS to the nutritionist.  I pretty much have to stop giving him everything he is eating including pancakes to get him to eat real food.  He is pretty much basically getting sugar for all meals which is really terrible.  We are starting this on Monday. Wish me luck and tell me my son won't starve to death. HE IS SO PICKY.  Doctor doesn't think it is a texture thing but behavioral.  Also, nutritionist said that his next physical is July 9th which gives us a month to see if he is losing weight.  I am so scared but I know he has to stop eating what he is eating now.

[~*Nicole*~]

What is he eating now? Drinking?

Just curious.

I don't know if it will work but it sounds very promising. If you truly believe it is behavioral and not a texture thing it shouldn't be too long before he starts to eat SOMETHING else.

How old is he??? That may factor into my opinion on the matter.

[M2M]

Hi thanks! Pretty much all he eats is pancakes and yogurt and anything junk that he can get his hands on.  He will eat apples, oranges, and grapes. He will be 3 at the end of this month.  I am really freaking out, I feel like I am going to watch him starve, he is sooooooo strong willed.

[hatshetsut]

He won't starve. My DD1 is quite a strong willed child as well. I found with her choices worked well. The choices just had to be 'mom approved'. So she could choose between bananas or blueberries, or choose what veggie we had with dinner, carrots or peas. Also, if she didn't eat her lunch, I just put it in the fridge until snack time and she didn't get 'snack food' until the lunch food was gone.

It will be a rough transition, but after he sees that you aren't going to give in, he will.

Hang in there!

H

[Katet]

If you know he will eat apples oranges & grapes, put a small serve (like 1/4 apple) on a plate with 4 other food products. put things that you know he has eaten in the past & put some other (attractive) food options there too.
Also maybe say On Sunday we can have Pancakes & only on Sunday or something like that, so he knows he does get a food he likes, but only one reasonable sized one KWIM. 

[nimblelikeduck]

m2m - your son sounds like mine! he won't eat veggies or meat. he eats alot of fruits, dairy and grains. i make pancakes too but use whole wheat flour to make it healthier. he eats alot of peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches too, always on whole wheat bread and i mix his yogurt with whole wheat baby cereal. i recently bought those V8 juice in strawberry/banana so that he'll get his veggies. he doesn't drink juice though, which i'm glad. mostly water or milk. he's just over 2 1/2 years right now and his doc said what he's eating is fine right now and told me not to worry. so for now i'm not stressing over it.
let me know how it works out! and GOOD LUCK!!!

[Melej]

My DD1 is picky although with her I think its a texture thing. I do find getting her to help with cooking and preparing the food made her more intrerested to try it. She is also better with a very small amount of something new on her plate, if I load it up it puts her off.

I also agree with Katet, and put at least one thing I know she will eat on the plate, just for my peace of mind that she has eaten something. It is worrying, but he will eat even if its in small amounts. As hard as it might be try and stay calm, he will notice if you're panicking or fretful and be less likely to try new things. Good luck

[~*Nicole*~]

In the meantime, look into using what he already eats to expand his diet. Add pureed veggies to his pancakes, etc.

[M2M]

Thanks for everyone's responses! I am trying not to freak out because I have to be indifferent to his eating habits in front of him because then he will know it is affecting me and like people in my life say "this is his claim to fame".

Today is day #1.  This is what the nutritionist said (let me know what you think).
So, he is to have protein, grain/starch, veggie or fruit per meal (for most meals).
to start off this is the plan she has us on. Oh and I bought a fancy schedule/magnetic thing that is supposed to get him on a better schedule (rather than just snacking all day) that he can be involved in, like moving the magnet over when it's time for breakfast, etc.  He was so cute about it today.
Breakfast:

cheerios and 4-6 oz of milk in the morning (he wouldn't even come to the table this morning).

Snack: cheerios(again because he refused this morning) and a banana (drink: water)

Lunch: small piece of breaded chicken and grapes with 4-6oz of milk

Snack: daycare usually will give him snack that is healthy. He usually refuses until 5pm to eat and then they will go get him something....I told them not to do that anymore, that if he refuses, he refuses.

Dinner: hopefully he will be hungry.  PB & J and an apple. 

***He only eats the fruits on this list (except for banana)*** He has historically refused all of the rest of the foods over and over again.  My DH just called me and told me he refused the cheerios...and that he keeps saying he is hungry for snack...which is the cheerios/banana.  This is so hard.

My DS won't eat the pancakes I make...he will only eat frozen pancakes. The nutritionist told me to not buy them anymore.  As I am writing this sentence I realize how much he needs this new plan.  I don't know how we let it get this far...I feel like such a bad mom.  It got to the point that he refused everything, so I would just give him what he would eat.  I should have just done this a long time ago.  I am glad that we switched pedi's because his other pedi didn't think it was a big deal.

Thanks for the encouragement, I will not back down!

[Mom to M&M]

How much milk does he drink? I'd cut it down to 16 ounces/day if he's drinking more than that as it will fill him up too much - if he's hungry he may be more willing to try things?

Also, have you tried smoothies? Good way to get in LOTS of good stuff (fruits, veggies, tofu even). Great for breakfast to jump start the day too.

For the snack and each meal I might offer three things. So for breakfast this morning, have tried the cheerios with milk and also fresh fruit (maybe cantaloupe? Tons of vitamin A in that) and a piece of raisin toast with cream cheese. Then for snack, the leftover cheerios and the banana but maybe also raisins? And for lunch not only the breaded chicken and grapes but maybe sweet potato "fries" (spears baked with olive oil and seasoning). Then for dinner, along with the PBJ and apple offer a little bit of whatever you are eating?

Do you eat meals with him?

[M2M]

Hi! Yes, we have cut down his milk to 16 oz tops per day.  It's been hard because that is where he seems to get most of his nutrition but also, filled up on.

I have tried smoothies...he takes a sip and spits it out.  And they don't taste bad!!! I have also tried making pops from smoothies but he doesn't like those either....seriously, this child is  VERY PICKY.

We do eat meals at the table, unfortunately, it is only one of us most of the time becasue my DH works a seperate shift from me.  Yes, we should be also giving him what we are having...at least a "no thank you" bite for his plate ( will do this tonight) Usually he will run away from the table once he sees that I am "trying" to get him to try something new. 

So you think more choices with each meal?

[Shiv52]

Hey hun


Just wanted to say I have done that very plan with several kids I've worked with and it works great if you are consistent and just stick to your guns.  

The aim is to teach him that what you provide for meals is what is available and there is no alternative.  I would stick to the plan and it will work.  If he has been used to you eventually providing something he WILL eat he needs to unlearn that.  It will be a tough few weeks but once he realises you mean it he'll eat.  The main thing is to make no big deal about it.  If he doesn't eat it, thats fine.

I wouldn't offer choices at this stage because it leads to negotiating.  So you'll say you can have grapes or banana and he'll say apples and at this stage parents say 'oh ok' because its a fruit and healthy and whats the big deal?  But if it is truly behavioural then what the nutritionalist is doing is getting you to  gain control back over but letting him have some control by having the schedule board etc.  

It might take a while to see results given he's nearly 3 but it will work.  Try and acknowledge the small steps.  So even if he comes and sits and touches a new food thats a success even if he doesn't eat.

Lots of luck!! He will NOT starve himself, honest.  I worked with a LO who only ate one type of crisps and by the end of week 2 he was eating yogurt, raisins, toast, plain biscuits, chicken nuggets, pancakes, grapes and cereal but it was slow slow steps.    

[Shiv52]

On the choices front....when we designed eating programmes for LOs the criteria for allowing choices was:

-had at least 25 established foods (and by established it means any brand of bread, pancakes etc)
-would sit for meal consistently for 10 minutes whether they were eating or not
-would try something new when encouraged, even just touching or licking not necessarily biting and swallowing

There has to be enough things to give choices between and it doesn't seem like your DS has enough 'appropriate' foods to give choices between and it is often counter productive to make him choose between two things he doesn't really like IYSWIM?  If he ate peas and carrots readily then thats a different matter but until you establish control over food and mealtimes, get him sitting at the table for meals and trying new foods then I'd stick to your plan and not make it more complicated for him. 

[M2M]

Shiv: thank you and can you come train my son  

Yes, you are right, there isn't many appropriate choices at all.....lunch is being served now...I am waiting for call from my poor DH.

[M2M]

DS did not try his lunch yesterday but ate some up the grapes with it.  He went to daycare and they had made rice crispie treats (not the best choice) that he has never tried before and has historically refused to try.  The good thing is that he was very curious about it and actually ate two. 

Then I served him peanut butter + jelly sandwhich with strawberries.  At first he kept running away from the table but he eventually(after I put it away and later her said he was hungry) I took it back out and he ate a few strawberries and spit one out.

This morning he ate yogurt but refused toast.

I hope this works!