Sudden and extreme bedtime antics (Separation Anxiety??)

[squeakersmum]

Hello lovely ladies,

So, Ben has been quite happily sleeping independently (with dummies) since he was around 8 months old.  I give him a kiss and a cuddle, lie him down hand him his dummies and his blanket tell him I love him and I'll see him in the morning and walk out the room shutting the door behind me...and he would fall asleep generally in under 5 minutes.  Every nap.  Every night.  With the exception of perhaps 7 or 8 nights when he's been teething and I haven't medicated or something like that - but even then one, maybe 2 WIWO and he's down.

On Tuesday night (I think, it's all a bit of a blur)  this suddenly all changed.  He went down for a nap fine as usual and when I went to put him down for bed he got really really upset and worked up.  Screaming at the top of his lungs that ear-piercing high pitched screech with no let up unless I was actually touching him.

I did WIWO for about 30 minutes but it was getting us nowhere and he was so worked up that I reverted back to what I used to have to do and held my hand on his back until he fell asleep.
Wednesday I again tried WIWO and then gave up but instead of putting my hand on his back I sat on the futon in his room telling him to lie down when he stood up.
Thursday and Friday were the same.

On Saturday he did the same for his nap for the first time and I sat outside his door so he could see my legs and again told him to lie down if he started to get up.  The same for nap and bedtime today.

Does anyone know what could have suddenly caused this?  I have medicated a couple of times and that makes no difference.  There was no change in nap length or bed time - no routine change.  Is this sudden Separation Anxiety?

Is there anything I can do other than what I am to try and make him more confident again?  It just seems like such an extreme regression that I'm not sure what to do!!

TIA,

Steph XXX

[Roseii]

(((hugs))) DD doesn't go to sleep independently but she does go down happy and generally STTN (touchwood!) But just to say I had the exact same thing as you, sudden FITS at bedtime, massive fuss etc, and it was literally just a phase that lasted about a week (seemed like a lifetime) at about 18-19m. Also they do say there is a leap in A times at 18m...just something to think about in case your routine needs tweaking.

HTH

[anna*]

I don't know what more you can do, but I do know there is a big and hideous sleep regression at 18 months. I was totally blindsided by it. Took us a couple weeks to get through, thought I was going insane.

Are his eye teeth/canines through?

[squeakersmum]

No, one is beginning to peek through, but it's because of that I medicated - in actual fact he's been much less fussy about this one coming through than his molars.

It's interesting you say about the leap in A times - I did wonder the first night if he was just too UT to go to sleep (I fell asleep while he napped and ended up getting him up 15 minutes later than I should have).  I always have to wake him up from his nap these days too - have done for a month or so now.

there is a big and hideous sleep regression at 18 months. I was totally blindsided by it. Took us a couple weeks to get through, thought I was going insane

At least it's not just me then!! LOL!

I'm going to hope that it's just a phase for us here too and we get through it in a couple/few weeks. 

Thanks!

Steph XXX

[squeakersmum]

So last night was the worst yet. 

He eventually went down to sleep at 8.15pm and then woke at 11pm.

I tried staying with him, bringing him into our bed, pulling the futon out in his room and trying to get some sleep myself while he was awake and in his cot.  He eventually went back to sleep at 2.50AM!!!!!!!!

So today he went for a nap at 12.30pm and I was aiming to get him up at 2.15.  Unfortunately, I fell asleep myself and didn't wake up until 2.35 *sigh*

So, what was with the massive NW?  Is it because he's OT or UT?? 

I'm thinking that the way he's behaving at bed time seems to be UT, because when he's OT he tends to get very hyper and/or tearful.  But surely after only around 7 hours night time sleep he must have swund the other way???

Gosh - just when you think you get a handle on them they throw a spanner in the works!

Any ideas?  I feel like I need to get him on more of an even keel before he'll be happy going down on his own again.  Should I be letting him sleep for as long as he wants in the day?  My gut says I shouldn't but I just don't know!

Steph XXX

[anna*]

(((hugs))) Steph that's tough. I don't know. With Stan, he never used to make up OT overnight, so the ONLY way to get him caught up was let him do a long long daytime nap.

[Katet]

I'd be checking with the Dr that there isn't an ear infection. With DS2 the only way I found he had ear infections were with sleep issues (he's only had 2 in 5 years, but they messed up sleep big time)

[jgobelle]

Sounds like we are both going through the same thing.  My son (21months) was a great independent sleeper as well, then all of a sudden it came to an ear piercing screaming halt, lol.  For the last 4 days he will only fall asleep if one of us is in the room, and wakes up at least twice a night and us up early in the morning!  He has two molars coming in so I really hope that's all it is and things go back to normal soon. At least we know were not alone.  I'll let you know if things clear up after the teeth come through.

[anna*]

Are things any better Steph?

[squeakersmum]

Well, things have progressed slightly.

So long as I tell him I'll come back and check on him in 5 minutes and don't close his door, just pull it to (which is a pain because we have to be so quiet with it open) he does lie down and stay quiet, eventually falling asleep.  Rightly or wrongly, I'm using the fact he doesn't know how long 5 minutes is to my advantage!

If he hears me going down the stairs before he's asleep then he gets really upset but I'm pleased that we've progressed past sitting in the doorway!

I'm wondering now if it's something to do with him suddenly having a massive leap in understanding.  He seems to be saying a new word every day - some that I don't even remember using with him, like yesterday we were playing in the garden and he heard the children next door; he pointed and said, 'girls!' clear as day!!  As well as learning to sign 'thank you' and beginning to recognise colours all in the last week or two (he learned thank you in 2 days after never seeing/doing it before).  I had read about this 'explosion' before but didn't realise it would be so sudden!

So I think the next step for us is actually closing his door again as I would like to be able to do this when he's in a BBB - I'll leave it for a few days though.

We're still getting relatively early mornings for him, but I'd rather have that than NW or all that screaming at bedtime!!

Thanks for thinking of us,

SXXX

[consmummy]

Sep anxiety peak at around 18mths, could well be that.

I remember going through the same thing with DS1. One night he went down fine and the next..... I AP'd for a couple of weeks as I had no idea what was going on. the he started messing about while I was in the room so I figured he was now playing me like a goodun so I got tough and did WIWO. And within a few days he got the message.

HOWEVER: after that he ran the gammet (sp?) of sleep issues. We then had night waking and early waking I can recall being up doing WIWO for around 2 hours at a time in both cases. but he did settle down again in the end.

[ashley10]

I feel your pain! We have just started going through exactly the same thing. Our DD turned 2 last month and whilst she isn't a great sleeper she has always been good at putting herself to sleep and if she wakesd we go in for 2 seconds give her a dummy and walk out. This week the screaming matches started at around 8.45pm and lasted til 10. She goes to bed at 7. No idea what is causing this at all. I did give her cheese on the two nights at dinner - perhaps that did it??? Not sure if her big molars are coming in at the back?

Unfortunately all she does when you say time to sleep is 'no mummy' and then screams, kicks her legs etc. I think she wants to come in with us but unless she is really sick she has to stay in her room as we have broken that habit.

Any advice much appreciated as I also have a DS that is 4 1/2 months.

[Katet]

So long as I tell him I'll come back and check on him in 5 minutes and don't close his door, just pull it to (which is a pain because we have to be so quiet with it open) he does lie down and stay quiet, eventually falling asleep.  Rightly or wrongly, I'm using the fact he doesn't know how long 5 minutes is to my advantage!

I think you really need to make sure you don't leave it too long & even if you check on him 2-3 times you will give him trust that you come back, leaving him & not going back at least once if you have said you will come back in 5mins to me seems to be giving him a good reason to call out & want you because he hasn't got the trust you will come back, so it could backfire... even with my 5yo & 7yo we go back to check on them even now, some nights they are fast asleep in a few mins, others we might check 2-3 times, to me it is about fulfilling the promise we will check on them, it is a trust thing in my mind.

[squeakersmum]

No, I certainly don't want him to lose trust in me.  This just all came so out of the blue and I just don't know how to sort it out!!

So - things were progressing....now they're not.

Back to outside the door last night.

Tonight it took an hour and a half for him to go off in the first place and he's now been asleep for just over an hour and is starting to stir and whine in his sleep again.  I medicated for teeth tonight as I didn't last night so thought that may be the problem - apparently not.

I'm thinking that he's OT again - but he's not going down for naps (even earlier than normal) well and is waking earlier (as well as EW and NW) so I just don't know where he'll catch up.

Tonight one of the main problems with going to bed in the first place was that he fell asleep in the car for 20 minutes at 5pm   so although he is generally mega OT I think that he'd napped to close to bed time and was also UT.........if that's even possible?!?!?!?

Aaahhhhh - just needed to vent!!!

[janecharlotte]

No advice here but same thing happening to us with a 16month old. Is there something in the air??