Too much conflicting info from my instincts, husband's mom, my mom, grandma...AUGH!
I play with her actively about an hour total a day. We spend time in the kitchen together, where I cook her meals and she plays by herself--that's about an hour total. I do the bills etc and she plays by herself for about 30 mins a day. So we have 1 hr with me, 1.5 hr by herself, and then mealtimes, diapers, naps, and night sleep are excluded from "play" definition, but these are still together time.
I am being told by all sources that I'm not playing with her enough, but if I played with her as much as husband's mom wants me to, I'd never get anything done. And my gut says to let her discover and learn by herself, simply because the only way lessons like "the square fits in the square hole" only stick when you do it yourself enough times for that to sink in. If we play together, we roll around on the floor, I dance with her, but I rarely play with her toys unless she presents them for me.
When the people who don't run the household come to visit, they play with her nonstop and I have to make them stop so she can nap. She likes the extra attention, sure, but I can't do it all the time.
Am I REALLY not playing with her enough?