Hi TEacher_lady,
First of all, welcome! I want to share with you a few of the things that worked for us, but keep in mind every LO is different. What I wish someone had told me when I started BW is that you should ENJOY the first 8 weeks of their life and not worry so much about getting them to sleep on a 'schedule.' They are going to wake after 20 minutes at this age because of the moro reflex and you can do a few things to try to stop this (HTTJ for example) but this didn't work for us and it was just something she had to outgrow.
BW is not a schedule, but a response to the babies' cues. So what you should be working on right now is recognizing sleepy cues, hungry cues, etc. LIke I said I started from Day 1 with BW and it wasn't until 10 weeks that she finally fell asleep on her own. Those first 10 weeks were pretty rough on me because I was trying to teach her how to fall asleep on her own and she just couldn't do it yet. She needed me to help her! (I now feel that this is all normal!)
So that being said let me see if I can answer a few of your Q's:
Do you really wake them up for activity during the day if they fall asleep after a day feeding?
At this age, you should try to aim to keep them awake after a feed---setting up the EASY pattern but you have a newborn and sucking is comfort for them at this age. Sucking=comfort=sleep so if they fall asleep and you know they're tired. Let them sleep. If you feel compelled to try BW at this age, aim for the EASY pattern for one nap and then do what you have to do for the rest.
How do you put them asleep for naps? Awake? Drowsy? Fast asleep after rocking?
YOu need to come up with a wind down pattern that you can handle. For us, we shut the blinds, turned on the sound machine, turn off lights and then we would sing a song in the dark. Then once she did the seven mile stare (eyes looking off in the distance) I'd put her in the crib. She'd often start crying immediately and for the first 10 weeks I did a balancing act of putting her down too sleepy and too awake.
The best advice I can give you here is to set up good habits---don't always put them in the swing to sleep, etc. Do your WD process the same time every time (good to develop habits for you and your LO). Then as your LO ages, you shorten the WD time so that you aren't singing to sleep, rocking to sleep etc. It takes a LONG time.
If they wake up instantly after laying down for nap? What EXACTLY do you do? (detailed) And for how long before you give or know you should pick them up?
This is very common in the first few months of life---that moro reflex. Is your LO swaddled? That is KEY! For me, if she woke up, I'd start the whole WD process again (see above). I never let her cry.
What if while you are trying to get them to sleep for nap and they poop? Do you change it or leave it? DS started making poop while I was trying to shh/pat and I was clueless of what to do. I don't think he likes his diaper too wet or poopy cause he kept wailing.
This is your own comfort level. For me, my LO slept so briefly and the poop didn't bother her so I changed it as soon as she woke up. If he is wailing, clean him and start the process again.
What if he doesn't nap and doesn't want feed until 4 hours since last one even though at this age it should be 2.5 or 3 hrs?
In the daytime feed every 2-3 hours regardless. Let him go as long as he can at night. This will help straighten out day/night sleep. you want him to eat as much in the daytime so he'll sleep at night. So feed him in the day!
Is it okay if he doesn't take the whole dreamfeed? We never did the DF. It always woke her up. So I can't comment on this. It also didn't seem to make a difference in terms of when she woke at night regardless of DF or not.
For night feedings do you put to sleep awake? drowsy? fast asleep after rocking? I did the same WD process for night as I did in the day. Consistency is key. The only thing differently I did at night was the BT routine---bath, bottle, book. If it wasn't bath night, we did a massage instead. I still do this to this day. She loves it.
How do you handle shh/pat or whatever if they wake up when you lay them down for night sleep or wake up shortly after?
I could never get my LO back to sleep using shh/pat. So at this age, if she woke up after shh/pat I would do whatever I needed to in order to help her get the sleep she needed and to prevent her from being OT. That is your GOAL right now too, watch those cues so you don't end up with an OT baby. That makes it rough!
I hope this helps---if something isn't clear, please ask me to clarify. But don't put too much pressure on yourself right now, enjoy that baby! It goes by too fast.
Meg
