15 month old ... lost trust... OT loop

[Tweakster]

I'll have to go back and look at all my posts and write down awake time, morning A, nap, after noon A, nap(if it exists), bedtime, NW and EW.   Maybe I can see something if its all laid out.

Post this and we'll take a look.  I have missed your thread but I want to help if I can :-)

[*Jo*]

Hun, i know you are afraid of waking your daughter up but I think honestly its got to happen, you arent getting any sleep, Marlow isnt getting any sleep and this is just going to continue. Can Alila go to someone elses house for a night or something? I personally think you need to do WI/WO because as I said, its just not working what you are doing now.

[teilvnav]

We used WI/WO to get Nathan on track, and it worked very well for us. He wanted reassurance that we were still there, but privacy to go to sleep independantly. DH and I both still use it if need be.

[marlowsmom]

I know that it has to be done.   I can do what I need to do and if Alila wakes up I'll tell her to go back to bed and hope that she doesn't get back up again.   

It's my husband that I'm concerned about as well.   June through September are crazy busy for him.   He's working 6 or 7 days a week.  He leaves at 630am and doesn't get home until 7pm at the very earliest.     Since he has to work such long days I really hate for him to lose any sleep.    Once he wakes up it's difficult for him to go back to sleep.    Then he's grumpy and snippy.   

Bright spot:  Marlow is a notoious 1.5 hr napper but today she slept 1.45!    I know its only 15 min but I have some hope that maybe she is going to extend her naps.     Tonight, dinner and bed by 7pm which is 5.15 A after her nap.have

My laptop is off having for computer warranty work done so I my husbands slow, old laptop.    My point is that it only had a trial version of  MS Office on it and that doesn't work now.     Thank goodness there is Google Docs.

http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0Ai-xxwdhw0qrdGhUelZsTFB3cTdQWUo2U194eGcxNEE&hl=en&authkey=CK-HvcwE

[*Jo*]

If you can do it in the weekend when DH doesnt have work that might be better? even if you just say to him its for a couple of nights, so then you all get better sleep. It will be worth it.  I did WI/WO at that stage and know what its like but just keep thinking of the end goal 

[marlowsmom]

Alright, so last night she was in bed by 7pm.   She woke at 845 -945pm and then another quick NW at 10pm and 330-415am.     The 330 NW I let her be for about 10 min and then she fussed.     I went in and tried to rock her but she wasn't settling.   She wanted a bottle and stories but I told her no.    I put her in the crib and let her be.     I was sleeping in the guest bedroom which has a computer in it.     I hopped on BW and facebook and found Jo!!   
Jo coached me through it and told me to hold on.    After about 10 min of Marlow crying she finally settled down and fell asleep.    YEAH!    She slept until 7am.

I had to take DD1 to a swim lesson and I got back at noon.    I took her right up and gave her a bottle.     She almost fell asleep on the bottle.   She did fall asleep on my shoulder.    That was 5hr 15 min of A time.   

Thanks Jo for helping me!

[marlowsmom]

Just as I hit post on the above message she woke up from a 45 min nap.       Now what?

[Tweakster]

Hi there, personally I would do early bedtime unless you feel you can get a CN out of her.  I think she's telling you she needs more A time with a short nap and some NW for stories and socializing.  What are your thoughts on trying her on 1 nap?  Her night was actually long in the end, although not solid, but still it would have set her up for a good 1 nap day.

Remember her cries are her wants rather than needs, she's invoking her right to personal attention from mummy, which she is used to getting.  I think intervening less is going to teach her quickly that she needs to sort herself out a bit.  She's shown you she can do it, now you have to put your faith in her ability to continue this - and the more you convince yourself that she can do it, the more she will get that message from you. 

[marlowsmom]

Wendy,   She's had two solid weeks of one nap (sleep chart https://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0Ai-xxwdhw0qrdGhUelZsTFB3cTdQWUo2U194eGcxNEE&authkey=CK-HvcwE&hl=en#gid=0)   I've tried to get a morning nap and if I got a morning nap then I tried for a CN which never happened.    I can't seem to get two naps out of her.   I might take her for a car ride later.   Maybe that will knock her out.   

[Tweakster]

Ok yes just looked at the chart, what's going on with the morning A time, it's fluctuating?  She's giving you a decent nap on 5.75, almost 6 hrs A time so could you just stick to that for a few days and do a set bedtime to see if you can even her out?  I would keep to the 1 nap unless she gives you less than 1.5 hours to be honest.

Sorry it's tough :-( 

[marlowsmom]

The morning A is all over the place because I kept trying to give her anywhere from 2 hr A (b/c she was rubbing eyes, yawning, laying down) to 4 hour A and a fight always ensued.    I'd struggle with her for 30 min to 2.5 hours so the A is whatever A she had.   

Yesterday she had a 5.45 A and gave me the longest nap yet.   

I jacked this kid up; its all my fault.   When she started refusing her afternoon nap I went right to reading sleepy cues.   I should have done the simplest thing first, adjust her A.

[Tweakster]

It's not your fault, it's just these kids are confusing :-)  But I think I would stick with her on that A time since it produced a good nap and a set bedtime for at least a week with no deviation (unless she sprouts several teeth or gets sick or you have to go out etc.) and just ride it out for a while to give her a chance to get her body clock in order.  Then tweak from there if things are still wonky.  The NW sounds like Jo has you on the right track there :-) 

[~Sarah~]

All I can say is ...The Dreaded A Time...GGRRRR
Having a hard time figuring it out most days for both kids lately.

I hope you are having better luck!

[*Jo*]

Hey SHaron, just got up from MY short night with Caleb grrrrrrrr lol anyway im glad she went back to sleep but boy its rough tryihng to figure these LO's out huh? I thought things were supposed to get BETTER as they got older!

so its looking like she can handle about 5 hours 45 A time, has she always been one to jump dramatically in A times? weve only just gotten to 5.5 hours and I though that was high for this age. so I think trying to get another nap in might work, or an early bedtime. then tomorrow try the 5.75 hour A time and see what happens?
Did you give her the bottle before her nap because she needed it for food or comfort?

[marlowsmom]

She needed the bottle for food b/c she didn't eat much lunch.    I didn't want her waking up b/c of hunger.   

As a toddler she seems to handle larger jumps in A time better than as an infant.    I did a lot of manuvering of her schedule with the short am and long pm so she could very well be ready for 5.45 A time.   

I'm trying to get her to take a nap now.   She had that 45min nap and now almost 3 hr A.    If she doesn't fall asleep in the next 5 min then we are getting in the car.