15 month old ... lost trust... OT loop

[~Sarah~]

Hi-I'm Sarah

Let Her Sleep!!  (Just my lil' opinion)  I really think she needs to get sleep when she can before you can really help her switch. I say that just bc that's what I had to do with Ryan. 

I was also going to add before, and I'm not sure how you feel about this bc you are thinking trust issues, When Ryan was really OT he was fighting every nap as well.  He could fall asleep by himself before this all started, so I would put him in his crib at the time I thought he needed to go and said good night and left the room.  If he started fussing really hard, I would take him back out and try again in 30 min.  If he fussed not hard and kind of babbled, I left him in there for up to an hour.  I found he would fall in and out of sleep. But, when I did take him out and he had not been quietly sleeping, I would put him back in crib in about an hour or so.  Mostly when he was becoming ubearable!!  We would do this song and dance until about 430-445, I would give him dinner and go straight to bed.

I know she really wants you neat, so I am not sure if you want to go that route, it just seemed to work here.  Plus it gave me a little break as DD was right in the middle of her colic/gas/reflux stage.  I just thought of it as quiet break time for all of us. 

HTH-I really want this to work out for you!!!

[*Jo*]

yep let her sleep. when they are this OT you let them sleep whenever and however long. how did you go?

Im wondering now also if perhaps you are just going in too much, i know she wants you near her but perhaps DH could help a bit more??? If shes settling really easily for MIL then maybe she will for someone else too. I also let Caleb go for up to half an hour if its not real crying (just got up now from him being awake 5.45am, let him moan/whinge etc till 6.15am then just got up for the day)

[teilvnav]

Hiya Sharon, I have total sympathy! This stage sucks. Nathan was doing much of the same as Marlow; EW, NW, nap refusal, and resistance to even the most trusty APOP. I decided to just stop fighting with him and start working towards a one nap day, and once he caught up on sleep and got into the new rhythm he never looked back! There were several days of having to force a second nap (or at least doing my darndest) and NW, but now he is STTN again and naps 2-3 hrs every day. It did take a few weeks, but we got there.

Don't give up, and don't get discouraged! There is light at the end of this tunnel.

[marlowsmom]

She slept for 1.5 hours this morning.    She woke a 1130am with a dirty diaper.    I'm sure the need to poop kept her up.    
Since we were going to a church picnic I knew she would wear herself out with running around in the suffocating heat and humdity.    She was outside for an hour and was a red faced, sweaty, hot mess.    I got her home and took her right up to her room at 3 hour A.   We read a book, had a bottle, and I put her down at 3.20A.    She rolled around then got quiet and still.   Success!  
Wrong.   She started saying "Dada" over and over.   Then she got louder and louder with "Dada" and soon she was up and active.    I ALMOST got to take a nap.    She has handled the day well.    She's in good spirits, happy, and playful.

Marlow won't sit quietly and play in the crib if she wakes early.    She will be up and complaining to get out with in a couple of minutes.

So I've learned two lessons:
1.  If I'm aiming for two naps then the first HAS to be about 20 min.   Long AM = PM nap refusal.  
2.  I can't do one nap a day unless she wakes after 630am

She went to bed without a peep.      Now its margarita time.

[marlowsmom]

Thanks Amy!   Thanks Sarah!  Thanks Jo!   I've been dreading the 2-1.   

[teilvnav]

Enjoy your drink, Darling! You have earned it.

[marlowsmom]

I did and I'm ready for another.     

Sarah- Every morning that I decide to let her sleep as long as she wants I end up with PM nap refusal.    I have to stop it though and stick to a set schedule for a few days.    If the short am and Long pm no longer work then its going to be one nap. 

I'll have to do what Amy says and set a nap time and go with it come hell or high water.

[*Jo*]

Sharon - Caleb is the same in the morning, up complaining, but if its not a distressed cry or a cry where i think he needs food or nappy change, i just leave him there. hes loud, whining, moaning, half crying, but its cold so i am NOT getting out of bed until i feel he really needs it and to be honest, for some reason hes really handled today a bit better, weve yet to have our nap (he would usually be in bed now if i had gotten him up when he woke) and its not too bad, so thats something to consider if you can do it

[~Sarah~]

but now he is STTN again and naps 2-3 hrs every day. It did take a few weeks, but we got there.

Don't give up, and don't get discouraged! There is light at the end of this tunnel.

I just want to say it will happen.  DS took almost 2 months but as of this week we are also back to STTN and so far every nap has been minimum 3 hrs frequently close to 4 hrs.  I let him sleep as long as he will, and he still gets an early BT, like today.  Slept for 3.45hrs, but was in bed and asleep by 630 because he was beside himself, so I know it is still working itself out in his little body.

I have to stop it though and stick to a set schedule for a few days.

Do whatever you need to do to get some sanity I say   I certainly do not have the right answers, or it would not have taken me a month to really get this hammered out.  I just put out there what helped me in hopes that it might help someone else. (again maybe I should rethink giving advice if it took so long )

[marlowsmom]

Sarah, I'm hoping it doesn't take me a month but it's looking that way since I've been over two weeks.    That's one week of me trying to figure it out and one week looking for help on here.   

She was up for two hours last night.    She would not let me leave the room.    When I thought she was asleep,  I would sneak out, make it all the way back to my bed, and she would pop her head up looking for me then cry and get up.    I had to sit in a chair in her room and wait for her to go sleep which involved her looking up for me periodically until she finally gave in.

So today is trying short nap then long nap.   I'm pretty sure she can handle about 3.45 to 4 hr A then a 30 min nap.  Then a questionalbe amount of A (2.5? 3?)  then long nap.     

Please let her long nap today.   Mommy needs to sleep.

[*Jo*]

ok, how does everyone feel about WI/WO now, nothing else is working and this is what we used to do when it got back, no matter how OT because he just had to sleep. He never did get to the point of not letting us leave but it got bad enough for us. I think if you do it in the night you at least know shes gonna go back to sleep at some point.

what do you think?

[marlowsmom]

Last night I went the bottle route for the NW but since she is so OT it didn't do much good.   I did a bit of WI/WO but she screams the house down.   I'm afraid she will wake my 4 yr old or DH.   

As I type she is in her crib trying to go down for her morning nap.    She's crying.   I'm crying.   I'm tired.  I feel bad because Alila is downstairs all by herself and I'm up here focusing all my time on Marlow.

Marlow got to the panicked cry so I went in to comfort her.    After a bit I left her in there.    She cried hard for about a minute and is now alternating between crying, yelling, and being quiet.    It is now 10:10am and she woke at 615am.   

[~Sarah~]

Well, I would say go ahead and ignore everything I have said...Ryan had a terrible night last night, although I think his is bc of teething.
It seems inevitable that after a a bunch of days of 1 nap he ends up having an EW which does not mess up the first day, but really messes up the next day.  So today we will be playing it by ear here, which in my opinion means he will be going to sleep in about 15 min and sleeping until 5 (in my perfect dream world)

 

I'm afraid she will wake my 4 yr old or DH.

This is part of the reason DD sleeps in the basement and honestly DH has no choice-it is all hands on deck during most NW or EW bc it seems as though my children are magically connected.  Even though they sleep no where near on another, if one is waking the other is usually sure to follow (or at least stir) it is super weird!!

I hope your day gets better..it has to get better right?!?

[marlowsmom]

Funny you say that Sarah because I thought of you after 4hr 15min A.   She wasn't having any of going to sleep.   OT?  Yes she is but can she be UT when I'm trying to put her down ?   I started putting her down at 3.5hr A and she fought for an hour.   I thought of what you said that if you LO isn't showing that he is tired you take him out and try 30 min later.   I took her out and gave her some food and milk.   She went back upstairs at 1130 and fought some more.   Refusing to lay down and even shaking her head "no" when I told her it was sleepy time.   She finally fell asleep in my arms at noon.    That's almost 6 hours.   

While trying to get her to sleep, I thought that I'm going to make a sleep chart.    I'll have to go back and look at all my posts and write down awake time, morning A, nap, after noon A, nap(if it exists), bedtime, NW and EW.   Maybe I can see something if its all laid out.

[marlowsmom]

Also, I've had nothing but one nap days so she is trying to tell me something too.   I think I have to give up on the idea of any second nap ever happening.