Time for 1 nap a day for 8 month old ?????

[A pair of Charlies]

I think the thing with CIO is that babes don't understand what or why you are doing it, or what they are then meant to do. He won't know he's to cry himself back to sleep because you want him to go back to sleep. He will think you have left and aren't coming back, even though he's crying for you. Because you don't come back, he will become more and more frightened, terrified, and anxious. Hardly a good way to fall asleep. And the next nap or bedtime?

You mentioned that the developmental milestones have been tough. With the age of Seperation Anxiety coming up for him, I think CIO would be a disaster for him. And you.

Happy to help with Wendy to see what we can come up with for an EASY. Sounds like he's a spirited little sleeper and once the window is missed, it's full on hyper time instead. I know how hard that is to work with - been there. It will get better, it will.   

Charlotte

[*Jo*]

hi there, just taking a look at everything you have posted, hun you sound like about 4 months ago! i was at my wits end! the only thing that helped us was set naptimes and just accepting whatever nap we got. however that was after we exhausted all other options, so lets have a look at some more.

have you tried shortening his morning nap to 45mins? of course you cant do a full A time before that or after it, so i would suggest an A time of around 3 hours before, a 45 min nap, an A time of around 3 hours again (of course watching tired signs here) then aim for a long PM nap. hes definately building up OT so we need to try and nip this in the bud quick.

I agree with Wendy and Charlotte though, CIO is never the way to go, we all go through this and its just a matter of trial and error with ALOT of support along the way, which is exactly what we are here for
 

[2greatboys]

Ideally I would like for him to wake between 6:30-7, nap 9:30 or 10-11 or 11:30 and again around 2 or 2:30-3:30 or 4 and in bed between 7:15-7:30.  DS1 starts preschool in 5 weeks and I will have to drop him off at 9 and pick him up by noon.  I do not have anyone to watch DS2 if he's still napping.  I would be gone all of 5 mins to pick DS1 up, the school is 0.5 mile away.  I have a new fear that DS2 may have a super short morning nap and it will start a whole new set of sleep problems.  I have stuck to a routine since the day I brought him home and I just don't know what went wrong.  I feel super short afternoon naps is messing everything up.

This morning he napped for 1 hr. 15 mins. was A for 2.5 hrs., showed sleepy clues and I had him in bed and asleep within 10 mins. of his first sleepy clue, he napped for 40 mins. and was cranky when he awoke and off and on the rest of the day.  I've tried PU/PD for 30 mins. or more and he just becomes frustrated.  He was in bed and asleep tonight by 7:20 this evening. 

I really appreciate all of your help and effort.  I've talked to so many other moms and most just tell me to do CIO.  A few have even suggested that I use Benadryl !

[A pair of Charlies]

How long was the A time before the morning nap? I think, I would drop the nap down to 1h for a few days and see if that helps get him to take the second nap.

For us, the start of the 2-1 switch was the pm nap refusal (just wouldn't go to sleep) or short pm naps (woke & wouldn't go back to sleep). Meant really early bedtimes!

CIO is an easy thing for people to suggest, but I just get the feeling you are the CIO kind of Mama - you are the Baby Whispering, listening kind of Mama. It can take a bit of patience but so much better for them and you, to find the solution to the problem (the bad naps) rather than leaving a baby distressed thinking the one person they rely on isn't coming back / doesn't care.

AND, as you did PUPD and it didn't help getting him to nap I think CIO would be pointless - not tired enough to sleep doesn't change whether you're left to cry your heart out or not!

Let us know what you think about cutting the first nap down a tiny bit?
 

[Tweakster]

Hi there, I was thinking the 1 hr as I mentioned before or if that still proves to be too much then perhaps the 45 min Jo has suggested.  A shorter AM nap has a good shot at working.  We had the same as Charlotte, complete PM refusal after a good AM nap, just full stop.  He's young but perhaps this is where he's at, at the moment.

[2greatboys]

Thank you all so much for the support !!!  It is truly helpful to know that I am not the only one who's LO has/is doing this.  I know it can take several days for change to occur.  How long did it take to get your LO's to make a change ?  I know all LO's are different, but an idea would be nice.

Today was the 4th day I cut his morning nap to 1 hr.  It has not helped.  He is still only taking a 30-40 mins. afternoon nap.  He has awoke in the morning around 6-6:30, had a first A of 3-3.25 hrs.  When I woke him each day he cried and cried for quite some time afterwards.  He was also very clingy.  DS1 became upset yesterday and went upstairs to his room and cried.  When I went to ask him why he was upset, he said he wanted me to hold him as much as I held his brother.  It totally broke my heart !!!  When I woke him after 1 hr. DS2 was yawning and rubbing his eyes after only being A for 1hr 10 mins.  He only slept for 30-40 mins. each day for his afternoon nap and was ready for a 3rd nap before dinner.  Only two days did I get him to take a third nap, which was also 30 mins., and he was still falling apart at dinner.  Because DS1 has swim lessons at 5:30 two nights a week DS2 didn't get to bed until 7:30 and didn't fall asleep until after 8pm.  He was so OT and woke several times during the night, I felt horrbile.  There just isn't a way for me to get him to bed any earlier than 7, even then that's rushed most times, but doable.  DH usually is not home for dinner or when I put the boys to bed.  Tonight DH came home  earlier and DS2 was in bed and asleep at 7.  I'm hoping this will help him tremendously.  I don't think I can wake him another day after a 1 hr. morning nap.  He was still so tired.

I thought alot about the CIO.  I tried the walk in and out method and after 30 mins. I just couldn't do it any longer.  He was so distraught and completely did not understand why I was doing it.  So we ended up sitting in his room snuggling, rocking, and sobbing.  All the while DS1 was stuck in front of the TV. 

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I will not get DS2 to take a longer PM nap no matter what I do.  I will just have to take what I can get for the morning nap and accept a 30-40 mins. afternoon nap with set nap times.  It's completely drainging me and I feel like it's taking a toll on DS1 too.  I'll just take what I can get.  DS1 starts pre-school in 4 weeks.  I will need to pick him by noon and will  just have to hope DS2 gets something close to a good morning nap.