She is the pickiest eater I know

[Dree]

Shiv52 - What is wrong with offering pancakes or a banana ?  Don't insult my list of meals. What works for one child does not always work for yours or vice versa.

Sometimes children are not interested in cereal and toast for breakfast...shocking isn't. But, I bet you your dd would love a pancake filled with sweet potato in the mix. Try it this weekend and try and convince me that it is not a hit.

Dree

[Shiv52]

If I'm making something for dinner that I know DD won't eat (say we're having chilli which she has tried loads of times and hasn't taken too and it is a bit hot) I'll give her the rice and garlic bread but also give her something else to have with it (generally something i have frozen from leftovers) and not bother giving her any chilli IYKWIM?  So in your example I'd certainly make him a side that you know he'll likely eat especially if the other things are new too.

With the self feeding....it depends what your main priority is, if its eating new foods and a range of foods then you feeding him some meals isn't a big deal so long as he's keen!  What age is your LO again?  

[Shiv52]

Shiv52 - What is wrong with offering pancakes or a banana ?  Don't insult my list of meals. What works for one child does not always work for yours or vice versa.

I think you picked me up wrong.  What I said was if that on THAT day (for example) I had planned on cereal and toast and thats what I made and gave my DD for breakfast and she refused it and didn't want it then I would leave it at that and I  wouldn't make her an alternative meal of pancakes and banana.  The actual foods I used were examples, nothing to do with your list of foods, just foods my DD would have for breakfast in general.   Hope that clears it up for you.  I had mentioned earlier in my post that I meal plan for the week for us and gave an example of one day in response to another person's post, nothing to do with your post. 

[scucci1979]

I will give that a try.  I feel awful letting her skip a meal.  

[anna*]

Don't feel bad if she skips a meal! It is not your responsibility to make her eat - it is your responsibility to offer her a variety of healthy foods, a balanced diet. Of course you will offer her some things you know there is a chance she will eat, but the eating part is up to her!!

[Rebecca247]

I hear you on the picky eating Sabs, but i think Max's main problem was he was drinking way to much milk during the day and night.....We have recently taken his bottles away and his milk intake has gone down to almost nothing, but his eating has improved ALOT!!!! probably not the case for you as she isnt having as much milk as Max but thought I'd offer my situation!

Max likes most fruits and LOVES LOVES LOVES chicken, anything with chicken is a hit, not a fan of red meat which i wish he was a little bit interested!
He doesnt eat much bread either and would never touch a sandwhich, so i bought some different cookie cutters and he started to eat special shaped sandwhiches..

I like you felt bad if he skipped a meal and would drive myself and DH crazy making alternatives for him if he didnt eat what i origanlly made and he wouldnt eat the alternative either, so now like Shiv said if he doesnt eat something then he obviously isnt hungry for an alternative either, he often comes out an hour or so later and points to the very high up snack cupboard so i know he is hungry and i offer yoghurts or fruit and he eats it!.....

Hope she picks up for you soon, I sympathise ALOT with a non eater or a picky eater! Its not much fun xxx

[Dree]

One thing for sure, kids/toddlers will not starve themselves. They will eat when hungry. If they skip a meal they will eat the next one at the next meal time. We went through these phases and it comes now and again. At first I felt horrible that she was skipping meals but my dh convinced me that she needs to learn that when a meal is served you need to eat it. You don't need to finish it but you need to try it.

Sometimes, my dd wants chips, cookies or some sugary snack instead I will tell her NO. If you are hungry, you need to eat supper and mommy can then give you a little snack after. If she does eat (not by force of course). Then I will put some chips in a little Dora plastic bag and give that to her. IT IS NOT A REWARD. I explain to her that if she is hungry for chips then she is hungry for supper.

Dree 

[scucci1979]

When she picks at her meals and starts throwing it on the floors, mealtime is over. I take her out of her chair and two minutes later she will go to the cupboard for snacks.  That is the frustrating part. I say no snacks and she has a fit!   

I do like the idea of using cookie cutters to make a sandwich. I plan to try that.

[~*Nicole*~]

Sabs, wasn't she eating more variety before? I thought I remembered that she used to eat things and now is now? If that is correct (I apologize if I am wrong) then I would imagine she is holding out for things she likes and trying to control the food situation. I know Shiv chimed in on a thread not long ago about a mom whose LO went to a nutritionist as all he would eat was sweets, etc. and she had to go a sort of "tough love" approach and he started to eat more. Might be something to read?

[Shiv52]

Here's a link to that thread:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=172443.0


She had great success in a short space of time.

One thing you could do Sabrina is finish the meal when she starts throwing etc but keep it nearby.  If she then asks for a snack/something else you can reoffer her meal.  I would do it for 40-45 minutes after the meal and then its just finished and nothing else until next meal time.  So that way you are being fair to her and she can have a second chance to eat but you are not getting into having to constantly produce alternatives or give in and give her something preferred just so she has eaten. 

She will probably get upset the first few times as she'll be expecting something different but once she realises that something different isn't going to appear because she threw her meal, she should start eating what you are offering.   But keeping the meal available for a set amount of time is something a lot of parents have had success with when dealing with picky eaters.  You are keeping control as you are sticking to what you have made but giving her control over whether she eats it and whether or not to come back to it.  Can't get fairer than that!

What age is your DD now?  I'm blanking.  I noticed Maeve's appetite dropped a bit at 1 but then a lot more at 18 months. HV told me its totally normal and she said they do tend to eat less as rate of growing drops.  I started then to give smaller snacks and or only 1 snack in the day and that helped a lot.  Once she was hungrier she started to eat a lot better too!

 

[Rebecca247]

My SIL should read that thread Shiv and do something about my nephew, he is 3 and she lets him eat more sugary sweet foods in one day then Max would have in 6 months, its terrible....She thinks he's eating so thats good! He doesnt eat any fruit, or veg or decent meats. He lives on nuggets and fries from fast food places and arnotts shapes biscuits! He has about 4 individual packets of shapes a day, I was horrified when she recently came home for a visit. I had to say NO when she was offering Max a packet everytime she would offer her LO a packet. MAx doesnt eat them anyway so it was a waste opening them, then her LO would eat them and thats extra he was having!

YUCK, he is very bad behaved too, might be something to do with it~

[Shiv52]

Eating is such a hard thing to manage.  As mummies we have this need to make sure our LOs have eaten.  Its just part of our programming.  Its so hard to fight against that but I think as Anna sais the best we can do is provide a healthy varied diet and provide the right atmosphere for eating. 

I have worked with so many kiddos who just become pickier and pickier until all they eat is junk or all they'll eat is 10/15 foods and thats it.  I even had a little kid I worked with who would eat pancakes but only a particular brand and that started to spread to all foods.  This same little kid ended up having to have 10 teeth out under anaesthetic when he was 6 as is diet was so poor. 

Thats a lot of sugar your nephew eats!  My aunt is the same with my cousin.  I have never seen someone consume so much sugar and colourings.  His behaviour is awful too and am sure his diet contributes alot! 

How you getting on Sabs?  Just thinking aren't you due in about 4 weeks?  That has flown in! 

[~*Nicole*~]

Besides the poor sugar diet contributing to behavior...it is probably for similar reasons that they eat whatever they want...that they behave however they want as the parents have allowed them to take a lot of control over things in general.

[scucci1979]

Sabs, wasn't she eating more variety before?

She was eating more before! She no longer enjoys her old foods. 

She will be 20months on the 11th.

I try to hold off on snacks and if I do give her a snack it normally consists of crackers, craisins and some fruit. ATM I am trying to get her to eat some more fruit. She will only eat strawberries now.  I have introduced grapes over the last few days and she ate 3 of them. 
I also only give her one snack a day, which is usually mid morning. If I give her a snack after her nap she will not eat much dinner.
I only offer her some sweets, if she ate most of her meal. The only sweets she will eat ATM are: smarties, toddler biscuits, Motts juice treats, teddy grahams or a little ice cream.

Here is what she ate today:
6oz bottle upon waking
Breakfast: yogurt + half waffle + one Melba toast
Snack: craisins + 2 grapes
Lunch: 2 pieces of chicken + a few bites of bread +yogurt + 1 strawberry
Dinner: ate 3 rotinni pasta + 2 tbspn of corn; didn't want to touch anymore when hubby offered her a meatball. She got upset!
Bed time bottle: 8oz

[Shiv52]

I actually think thats a fairly good variety for the day! Fairly good quantity too!   Do you think the bottle in the morning is putting her off?  I had weaned the morning feed by 19/20 months but I also bf'd so not sure what the norm is for bottles? 

That was great about the grapes!