Author Topic: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2  (Read 129698 times)

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Offline stevesmum

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #225 on: November 21, 2011, 08:40:14 am »
Thank you! I'm now that much clearer. We're not Touchy much at all - if any. good thing they're closer to angel/textbook - they've got a screwball for a mumma!


Offline marakino

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #226 on: January 06, 2012, 22:56:12 pm »
Hello ladies,

I need a bit of advice. My LO is 8.5 month old mainly touchy baby, who gets startled by, scared of and upset by every noise very easily. He has been like this since the beginning. Both his dad and I are very conscious of his touchy-ness and socialise him slowly, giving him the time to ease into the situation at hand at his own pace.

However, every time I go to a mothers' meeting with other babies, or baby swimming, which he really enjoys, as soon as another baby makes any sort of noise, both happy or sad, squealing with joy or anger, crying or simply babbling, my LO starts crying. He is also extremely noise sensitive with adults. Sneezing, coughing, creaking floor boards, anything really, sets him off. Outside noises as well - motorcycles, trucks, birds, car horns etc. get him going.

It affects his sleep too, as it startles him out of his naps, or even at night time, a windy night will have him waking frequently.

He seems ok with his own noises though, as long as he's the only one doing the squeeling :)

Seriously though, I don't know what to do, as even just going to a small cafe with one other baby or to a friendly mum's house can prove challenging, and other mums are starting to shy back from letting their babies interact with my LO at all for fear of 'scaring' him and setting him off.

Does anyone have any ideas for how I can desensitise him or at least make it less scary for him? Are there perhaps any exercises or games I can play with him, which could help?

Thanks for your advice.

Offline Ima shel Alon

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #227 on: January 07, 2012, 18:23:47 pm »
(((Hugs))) hun, they can be tough sometimes, ah?
If it's any comfort many mommies if touchies say that with time their LOs grow out of some touchy features, including mine.
Regarding the sleep I recommend white noise. You'd think because it's noise he's going to react to it, but I don't know of any baby who didn't like white noise. You can start with it quite low and every other day up the volume. The white noise swallows all sounds so he will only hear the white noise and hopefully won't wake up.
I don't have much advice about the socializing bit, I am afraid. The only thing is that I remember a mother here telling how her LO was so scared of sneezing and they (mom and dad) just burst out laughing when someone sneezed and made a game out of it. After a while she started smiling as well :) Maybe that would help.
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Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #228 on: January 08, 2012, 07:34:42 am »
Lol Z was terrified of sneezing, he laughs now and tries to copy. They do get better over time. TBH I just tried to minimize large playmates ie do small ones with just 1-2 people and I never put Z down unless I felt he was ready. I still need to let him decide when he is ready in new places. If I push him towards things or people he retreats and rejects.

I notice your LO has a paci.iknow they aren't the greatest in public, but if you feel the sucking helps calm then don't be afraid to offer its while he is still little if he gets upset out, or needs that comfort to stay okay.

Do you play games with noises? I found board books with sounds are great, having music or the radio on at home, encourage him to make noise and when he does make it back and smile.

I try to do all firsts ie first trip to beach, park etc all when I am relaxed and have lots of time, and just me and DH so that there is no extra stress.

Sleep - white noise and blackout blinds saved our sleep...  Hang in there,they do get less touchy.  :-*
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #229 on: January 08, 2012, 12:32:08 pm »
I know Tracy was a fan of comfort items like a blankie. Does your de have one of those? It easy for him to hang on to one of those while still being able to get involved and speak (when he can) in group settings without having to cling to you.
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Offline clairebear79

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #230 on: January 08, 2012, 13:45:22 pm »
Agree with all the other ladies suggestions.  We never used white noise but blackout blinds & a comfort blankie or teddy have been really helpful.  My DS was just like you describe when he was younger, very sensitive to everything & would cry very easily.  I promise you it definitely does get better with time, so hang in there!!!  We've just been to a soft play party today & I was amazed as usually he would cling to me for ages before he feels confident enough to go off & play, but he just toddled right off today! 

Offline marakino

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #231 on: January 11, 2012, 15:00:59 pm »
Thanks ladies for all the suggestions. We used to use white noise before we got onto EASY but then stopped 'cause my LO responded so well (if we stayed within his minuscule window). I might give it a try again though.

As to loud/musical games/toys when he's awake. We've actually given away quite a few, because they would freak him out so much. I've still got some percussion toys lying around though in the hope that he'll get over it at some point and give banging a go :)

Most of the time I don't mind his touchiness. It just makes me sad to see other kids enjoy interacting so much, while he's so scared of everything and every noise. Hopefully, he'll grow out of it or at least get better at dealing with it. Otherwise, I'd worry how he'll cope once we send him to daycare. 

Offline marakino

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #232 on: January 11, 2012, 15:14:04 pm »
Oh I forgot, he does have a blankie, but he doesn't seem that partial to it. He's had it since he was about 4 months old and we've been putting him down with it since then, but on the few occasions that it's been in the wash or in another room, he hasn't seemed too bothered with it missing.

He also doesn't seem to have a preference for any of his toys yet. As far as I've read, it might still be a bit early for him to have developed an attachment though, so I'm keeping an eye out for any preference changes on this front.

Offline petram

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #233 on: January 18, 2012, 10:08:07 am »
Hi ladies
My lo is 7.5 months he is mostly angel but when it comes to sleep hes definately touchy, ive always known this because when he was very tiny he would only settle when swaddled from head to foot, he didn't transition to the cot well until I put 3 pillows around him (1 either side and 1 at the top) covered with a fleece balnket that he lies on to make it cosy, he STTN unless hes cold (you wouldn't believe how many layers he wears at night just now!!)

Any way, I only have a five minute sleep window and if i miss it we have a screaming melt down for ages, yesterday we went to musical monkies which he loves, i was 10 mins later than normal putting him down and he screamed for 1hr 10mins, when he finally went to sleep he kept waking up crying and would take 10mins to 30mins to resettle again, when he is like this I APOP. I don't mind the APOP as he gets such alot out of the things we do but its upsetting to see him sooo upset  :'(

Its not always possible to get back on time, over christmas i had to take my other one to drs and of course the time was wrong and we had a melt down all the way home and beyond!

He loves people, especially other babies and he isn't bothered by new things so i know its just the sleep thing, what do you do when your lo is having a meltdown?
Nothing seems to work i just have to be there while he does it  :(

Offline Ima shel Alon

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #234 on: January 18, 2012, 18:00:30 pm »
Nothing else helped for us either, just to be there, in total darkness and I usually fed to sleep because it was always the one thing that really calmed him down.
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Offline JsMom

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #235 on: January 19, 2012, 02:15:55 am »
Hello,

I have an almost 4 month old touchy baby and am at a cross road with my family. I thought I would come here to vent and welcome any thoughts…

My lo J is a happy baby but very touchy, so if he becomes uncomfortable he has a meltdown. He does not like a lot of people all at once they overwhelm him, he is much better one on one. He doesn’t enjoy the car so when we do go somewhere he is overtired / stimulated form crying the whole ride to where we are going. If we do run out it has to be in the morning or early afternoon after 4 is not an option he will cry the whole time. He won’t nap well anywhere but home.  I try my hardest to respect the way he is so I try to avoid situations that make him uncomfortable. I’ve tried to explain his personality to my family but they just mock me and think I am overprotective.

It’s so frustrating because I feel like they completely disrespect my boundaries. My parents come over and they are so up in J’s face and obnoxious with him it stresses me out. J loves them but they come a 6:30 and do this expecting him to be up and ready to play all night. When they leave he is so over stimulated, it takes me more than an hour close to 2 to get him to sleep. When they do come during the day they don’t understand that he has to nap. My sisters want me to run around with them everywhere and just have him tag along. When I say no they always have some comment about me having to get him used to going places and get him used to being around lots of people. I don’t agree… I do take him places and he is around people but why put my lo in uncomfortable situations for him. When ever I try to explain to them J just has a sensitive personality and he likes things more low key and has to be on a schedule they all laugh at me to my face.

This has me so frustrated! Worst of all it is driving a wedge b/t me and my family. I am tired of all the advice and remarks I avoid them. It’s hard with my parents b/c they will just show up, which is worse.

Since you girls have first hand experiences with touchy babies what do you think? Am I too overprotected and being too much of a first time mom as the fam would say? Thank you very much just venting feels better. Sorry this is so long!

Offline JsMom

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #236 on: January 19, 2012, 02:40:12 am »
Sorry just 1 more comment...I am also sick of them telling me I need to do the double door treatment as in CIO and that I should have stop breast feeding him by now...

Offline Khalam's Mama

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #237 on: January 19, 2012, 22:39:12 pm »
The recommendations by the WHO are to BF to 2yo so why *should* you have stopped by now? I would just say that to them. plenty of BF babies are not touchy so they can't blame that.
Have you told your family how you are finding this very off putting/upsetting? Can you try to highlight some of the things you can do that help him? Maybe if they see him more settled/receptive to them when they take their time or he is well rested for example they will realise you know him best.

Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #238 on: January 20, 2012, 19:10:40 pm »
Hugs. It is really tough dealing with family members when they don't understand. I think you may need to do what KM has suggested and sit down and talk to your family...maybe they don't realize how much it is affecting you. you know your LO best, and touches re hard enough without feeling this way :-*

I do remember with Z a lot of people didn't understand but as he got older they got better...silly really because as he got older he outgrew the touchy side of him and now he is spirited as!

Re CIO I didn't even relate it to his personality as it made no diffence to me, but I just repeated the something to everyone 'I don't believe in CIO, there is a lot of current research to support my reasons which I am happy to go over with you.' my other comment was 'I am his mother, and I believe it is my job to be there for him the best way I can, that doesn't involve leaving him to cry when he needs me or is scared, cold or too tired to do iron his own, there are other ways to sleep train without abandoning them'

HTH oh and as KM says, as far as BF goes, a lot of older people IME are a bit old fashioned with feeding. I was bottle fed as was ALL my friends. BF offers so much to your LO in the first 2 years of life, if you want to keep Bf then don't let them put you off :-*
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Offline roimata9

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #239 on: June 22, 2012, 09:07:44 am »
Help! I have  a completely overtired getting over an illness spirited baby who is refusing to sleep. WHat do I do????? All my usual fall back APOP options aren't working - drive in car, rocking or feeding to sleep. He's so worked up he just won't calm down. Any advice and SOON would be really appreciated! He woke at 1am last night with a fever and has only slept 2 hours since then. It's now 9pm. We are getting desperate!