Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2

[brownc623]

Last night, she was asleep at 9:30 and then needed help to resettle from 10:20-11:10.  I did a dream feed at 12:30am (I wanted to make sure she was fully asleep b/c I think she sleep easier afterward if she can just remain asleep).  After that, she slept peacefully until 5:15 (needed shh/pat and 2 pu/pd- 20 min total), fell asleep, fussed a  little at 6ish but went to sleep on her own and then we woke her up at 7am.  This was a good night!! She effectively slept from 11:10-5:15 and only needed our help one time.  PROGRESS!

Awesome!! So glad to hear, especially that she self settled at 6. I think you're definitely on the right track.

[tori1083]

Very rough night last night.
It seems like anytime we have a "good" night, it never happens two nights in a row. 

After having, what I would consider, ' A perfect day', she was up SO much throughout the night.  I thought having good naps, a good daytime schedule, and getting to bed a touch earlier would help her have a good overnight.

Note, that she slept pretty well the previous night (up for 50 min between 10-11pm, up briefly at 5:15, then resettle herself at 6am), woken up at 7 to eat and begin day.

This was her day yesterday:
E 7am
A
S 10-11:40am

E: 12
A
S 3:15-5:10

E: 5:15
A
E: 7:15
A
E 8:40
S 9:10pm

E 11pm (She woke up and I fed her b/c I would have done the dream feed soon anyway)

Then, overnight, she was up at 12am, 1am, 2am, 3am, and 5am.  She would take about 20 minutes to settle and then sleep about 30 minutes before waking up very upset.  I fed her at 5am b/c I thought she would have to be hungry at that point and thought it would increase our chances of a few hours of sleep.  She ate about 1/2 a normal feeding and then did sleep until 7:30am- when she woke up screaming.

It's so hard- this constant waking without understanding why.  My husband handles most of the 1am-5am wakings b/c I don't want to agitate her further with the smell of breast milk.  He works and is very patient, but he is so ready to just let her cry herself back to sleep and learn to cry and deal with the night on her own.  I am really conflicted about this.  I keep telling him that it will get better, but I don't know if it will.  ?

So frustrated.

[brownc623]

Hard nights really stink. Its so easy to let them shake you. Remember that its always darkest before the dawn.

Changing habits takes time, and you will have to make changes in steps. It will take more time—usually each step takes three days—and require a fair amount of patience on your part to “fade out” these night wakings. You have to be consistent, though. If you give up too soon, or if you are inconsistent, trying one strategy one day and another the next, you’ll end up encouraging the very behaviour you’re trying to change.

Remember, she's still overtired. She still had a 14 hour day with 4 hours of A just before BT. Once you've gotten to where BT is back to a more age appropriate A time you will start to see results. Depending on your LO maybe immediately, but you will certainly see an improvement within a couple weeks.

[Ima shel Alon]

Please continue to support Tori with routine issues here: Sleeps so little, up so much at night. Starting with 6mo after Reflux and AP
This support thread is for specific questions and advice about touchy babies.

[tinushy]

Hi,
I have a 10 week old daughter who is a textbook baby but VERY touchy when it comes down to sleeping.
We have no problems during the night - she sometimes gets up at 3AM to feed (after a 23:30 dreamfeed) sometimes she'll sleep till 6:00.
When I put her down for a nap she screams. I try to notice her cues (yawns etc) but if I happen to miss the yawning part  we go straight to uncontrolled crying.
I tried winddown - it worked for ONE day and then she refused to do that also! When I try to sit down with her in her room (dark) she wriggles and cries. I just end up holding her till she falls asleep which is something I really don't want to do.
I tried swaddling, shushing all of which worked one time and then I can't make it work again.
Any ideas?
Thanks!

[Ima shel Alon]

I found that I had to stick to things for a while before they started working. Like with the swaddle and white noise which both were life savors for us, took a while before he got used to them.
WD has never worked for us either and was always very short. I still did some things so he learns it sleepy times, but never had the long WD other babies are doing.

It could be that there is a tweaking that needs to be done with her A. Perhaps she is OT or UT and that's why she is hard to settle for naps. If you think it's that, a routine issue, then you can start a thread on one of the relevant boards .

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs. I agree with this

I found that I had to stick to things for a while before they started working. Like with the swaddle and white noise which both were life savors for us, took a while before he got used to them.
WD has never worked for us either and was always very short. I still did some things so he learns it sleepy times, but never had the long WD other babies are doing.

For Z I would take him for a walk around the house or garden rather than sitting in the dark, that just made him angry the walk was a nice WD and he would get drowsy as I did it. Then into room, twinkle twinkle and into bed with ssh/pat etc x

[tinushy]

Yeah, sitting in the dark makes my LO very angry - like I said it worked for a day - and I put her in her crib when she was awake and she fell asleep on her own - I was over the moon. But then the next day she screamed when I tried to sit down with her and that's how it's been ever since. So - it's kind of difficult to stick to something that only makes her more agitated when the whole point is to wind down. What exactly is white noise? Do you mean like turn on a vaccume cleaner or something?

[*Ali*]

You can get tracks that play wave noises or hairdryer noises etc. I downloaded a free one onto my iPod and so it plays continuously rather than the short periods of time you would be able to do the vacuum cleaner for. Just search for free white noise track or similar

[candersen]

Hoping to find some support here for a touchy 4 mo old that was self settling on 3hr easy. Now A time has increased (watching her signs) to about an hour 30mins then start wind down...she starts screaming at the wind down point. At bedtime wind down is exactly the same and past two nights no trouble, but she has been awake for 2.5 hours prior as naps in the afternoon are a struggle as of late.

Have tried shorter wind down, longer wind down....as soon as we swaddle all hell breaks loose for 25 mins of screaming. Shh pat wont calm her and pupd frustrates her more.

my little girl is in tears every time for a nap. Please help!

[Ima shel Alon]

I think you have a thread going about your routine, right?

I found that I needed to give DS more time to get used to things when he was so young and touchy. The swaddle took time for him to get used to, same was with pat/shh. I do think that PU/PD this early on is a no go for touchy babies.
And for us the no WD is what worked best. Whenever I tried WD, even just 5min of it, he wouldn't have it.

Hang in there, the touchiness does get better when they get older and ST as well. Even with non touchy babies it's so difficult to ST at 4m.

[candersen]

Yeh I have a thread on routine but I just wanted advice from some mums of touchy ones. She screams as if I'm murdering her and I am finding it so hard because I give her so much love and I am putting in SO much effort for her, when she gets in a state like that nothing calms her.

Imogen has loved the swaddle from day 1, its not that it's the wind down I think. Today somewhat better with  no WD in dark room just carrying round the house for 20 mins then put down. What I don't understand was she used to love WD, when I DIDNT do it she got upset, and now the other way around? 2nd nap she self settled for and 3rd but can't get past 40 mins on the 3rd nap. I will post on the easy board for that one though.

As I said, looking  mainly for support here, to know it will get better and we will  be able to leave the house one day without her cracking it. I feel as if there is something WRONG with her, like shes not normal or has some behaviour issue. Please tell me I am over reacting here.

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Z was soooo touchy, and he is a sensitive toddler, but the touchiness does ease. I found 6 months was the age where shh/pat, teaching sleep and getting naps and nights a bit better kind of just started to work.

We had screaming at anyone random looking at Z funny let alone touching him. Going out was terrible. I used to feel I had the paci stuffed in his mouth so much because it hour it he was a mess. So I get it. But, she is normal. I learnt to just say 'Zac is sensitive and touchy to new things and lots of people.' When they went to get into his face.

Find 1 thing she likes. Z liked the swing at the park. We went every day. It gave him and me joy. I would buy a coffee for me. If you can find something it will help you both.

Honestly....Re sleep i wonder if you need to ditch the swaddle

[candersen]

Hey, re the swaddle, tried weaning with one arm out so she can suck her thumb (mum took paci off her at 12 weeks when she had her for 2 days and I am not keen to re introduce as she kept waking when it fell out) but she can't settle that way, she can't settle anyway at the moment. At first she would go down happy and either whinge for a bit or talk herself to sleep. I feel as though the crying will be damaging to her because I just can not calm her it's like she sees red and just screams herself to sleep even in my arms at first I thought cot phobia but I don't know. There was so much crying in the beginning with shh pat and pupd taking 40 mins. Then she went great, and now bad again.

This evening she was so OT from being awake since 4.30 (3rd nap only 40 mins past 3 days) that by 6.40 she fell asleep on the bottle, this happend the night before too cos I can't get her to nap, she's dropped her CN and shes paying for it! 

[Ima shel Alon]

(((Hugs))), sweetie, touchies can be a huge challenge.
Like Sara, I also learnt, and I am still doing it, to tell people that he needs time to open up so not to hover over him and let him decide the pace.
I also don't think there is something wrong with. The combination of the early months, sleep issues and being a touchy is a lot for her to deal with.
Do you think she might have Reflux?

It WILL get better. It WILL.