Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2

[jakobsmom]

Gotta love in laws!  We too had a hard time on Easter - but it was with my family so at least they listen to me!  My MIL is always convinced that his stomach is bothering him when he acts strange with her - sigh.  I just end up taking him back an settling him myself - I really don't care about offending her anymore.  I just told her to take it slow and don't just snatch him up.  One day I was playing with him on the couch and she came in and took him, and it was sooo funny.  He kept looking from me to her then just started screaming!  I always have to tell my FIL to talk quietly to him - as soon as he sees DS he starts almost yelling his name at him like he can't hear.  Super annoying and it always upsets my LO.

We too take DS out to the grocery store etc. to 'expose' him, and when people try to approach him I just politely move away.
I'm sure strangers think I'm nuts - but you do what is best for the LOs.

[MommaBrooke]

We had a great Easter dinner with my mom and dad.  Lyanna is really starting to love them!  My mom comes over once a week, and Lyanna has really warmed up to her now that she sees her more frequently.  It helps that my mom just hangs back and waits for Lyanna to engage with her...Lyanna will even reach out to her to be held  

Had some issues with in-laws though...My MIL said to us that the second baby is ALWAYS more laid back because you make mistakes with the first one and change everything with the second.  Somehow in a roundabout way implying that we have created a baby that doesn't like her grandma, lol, so ridiculous.  My MIL also seems to have taken the approach of "I don't care if you get upset, I'm going to hold you/talk to you/get in your face anyway". It seems my MIL is pretty stubborn and believes that my baby needs to change to suit what she wants...We haven't told her yet that Lyanna is much more stubborn than she is   She also keeps asking when Lyanna is going to sleep over at her house...I told DH that a lot of things need to change before I let that happen!  Especially since MIL told us she would just put DH in his crib when he was crying as a baby and let him CIO.  Can't even imagine my little girl getting put through that, because when she cries, you know something is bothering her, so letting her CIO just seems so cruel. 

I laugh about it all now, but I was pretty furious at the time, and had a bit of a cry when we got home.  Anyway, we're lucky we have my parents that we could vent to about the whole thing, and they are so supportive of how we raise our child.  I even heard from my hairdresser (who also happens to be my moms hairdresser) that my mom tells her what a great mom I am!  So nice to hear after having to put up with all the veiled criticisms from my MIL.

[jakobsmom]

I am convinced that my MIL doesn't think before she speaks.  We had a lot of issues with DS in the beginning with reflux and an unknown MPI.  When we started switching formulas etc. I remember her telling me that he seemed fine on the other formula.  I was furious!  She had only spend max a couple hours with DS and never alone - and has been in Florida for I would say a third of the time since he was born.  I remember thinking how the heck would you know?  She was also very fortunate that whenever she came over she caught him at a good time - ie no screaming.  And the first time she saw how bad it could be she was beside herself because "he has never acted like this for me" - ERG.  I had to laugh though she went back to Florida just before Easter and said 'I didn't get you chocolate, because you don't need it.'  I have been struggling to lose the last 14 pounds from pregnancy - and of course get the tummy flatter and abdo muscles back where they should be.

I have learnt (the hard way after many tears) to just let it slide off my shoulder - sometimes I am better at this than others but I too am fortunate that my parents are great and super supportive.

I also wont let her take my LO overnight, I get a pit in my stomach even when she watches him for a couple of hours.  It is crazy and I am trying to trust her more with him but it is sooo hard.

She is a nice woman, and I am really starting to believe that she just doesn't have a clue

[ZacsMumme]

Oh my gosh we are the same! Both my IL and own parents live close and my mu sees Zac every day almost, he loves her and my Dad and has stayed there overnight when we have had to be elsewhere (ie wedding) My MIL said exactly what yours did MommaBrooke, but Zac is our first - I still know its a load of *** though as my mums second (my brother) was touchy as.

My MIL also just grabs him up and then insists on settling him when he bawls at her. MILs can be tough enough even with a 'non' touchy baby hehe. She has him a few hours a week (at our place) and I also always feel ill before and after! (same as your Jakobsmum - she is lovely, but just doesn't get it)

Glad your easter went well MommaBrooke

[Jiinx]

hey ladies,
 In case you wanted to vent about in laws...

* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=179826.255

[jakobsmom]

Thanks for the link!  Was reading some of the posts and I can so relate to some situations - and am very thankful that my MIL really isn't that bad compared to what others are going through!

On the 'touchy' note - DS had four night wakes last night, so unlike him.  I wasn't feeling great last night so my husband fed him at 1030, which I normally do and I did his early morning bottle instead.  I am wondering if this change in routine through him off.  He is teething, but settled pretty quickly with his night wakes - so I am a bit miffed about what happened.  Also had an early wake - another issue.

I know that 'touchy' babies are very sensitive to routine - oh and my husband put him to bed, which again I normally do.  Last Friday I went out with my mom and DH put DS to bed (after much screaming/crying) and we had a horrible night.  Wondering if we should switch things up a couple times a week to try and get him to accept the small changes, or keep with regular pattern.....

[MommaBrooke]

jakobsmom - teething + touchy baby = lots of sleep disruption/sad baby/clingy baby/nws/ews, etc, etc.  We are going through it right now with Lyanna's second round of teething, and with the first two teeth her sleep (especially night sleep) was very bad.  I would hear her wake up all the time.  With all the sleep disruption I found it hard to stick with a routine, but I try to keep her as close as possible to her regular nap times without making her OT.  If your little guy is waking at night, even if he settles quickly you may need to adjust his A times during the day to keep him well rested.  In my experience it's better to keep my touchy baby well rested than to try to keep her on her schedule   I will even take her out for a little nap in her stroller if she wakes early from a nap because of teething.  Good luck with the teeth, I know it's a very frustrating time when you have a touchy teething baby.

[jakobsmom]

Thanks mommaBrooke - He only did a 40 minute nap initially this am so I cut his second A time back to 40 minutes and then got another 45 minute nap (he woke in time for his bottle)  Does this mean that I can now go back to his regular A time?  I will continue to try and follow his cues though, as I am sure that today he will be a bit more tired than normal.  I am going to try and do his second nap in the stroller for sure, he generally always sleeps well in here and I just want him to have a decent nap:)  Lots of AP going on here to try and get through this.  Teething is definately frustrating  - and we are still waiting for the first ones to make their appearance.  His gums are notably much harder and there are really white areas top and bottom middle gums.  And he is VERY whiny today - poor guy.  Really considering giving some tylenol before his afternoon nap.....

Whenever I try to put him down so that I can do something he cries as soon as he can't see me - lots of crocodile tears already today.  Something definatley is not right in his little world - sigh

[MommaBrooke]

Little Lyanna gets very clingy during teething, if she wasn't eating or in her stroller yesterday I was carrying her around.  Not easy on the back, lol.  I have a Moby wrap that I used last time she was teething to carry her around with me and I'm thinking I may have to use it again   I find that Lyanna is able to sit and play on her own while I fold laundry, etc. as long as she has something she can chew on.  I bought some teething rings by Nuk, there's three in the package and they are all different levels of squishiness.  They were easier than most teethers to hold at 4months, and she still really likes them now.  I got them at the drug store, they might be worth a try for you

[ZacsMumme]

Jakobsmum we have been going through the same thing...I thought maybe I had the only baby in the world that found teething so awful (most of my friends say their LOs just get a bit bothered) DS doesn't get bothered, he gets really upset and clingy and doesn't want to sleep, but does then only sleep for 35 mins then is a mess It has thrown our routine out the window and flared up his reflux.

We have been APing through it too, I am so worried he will forget how to self settle. THe only good thing is that his nights seem to have come right and he is self settling at bedtime so not all bad. I have been giving meds before naps to get him through them...As for hanging out on his own during A time..not a chance. Though he is happy if I am in the room and he is distracted.

TBH he seems happiest when we go out! Maybe it is the change of scene and fresh air.

I am also really interested to see MommaBrookes advice re the naps...as our first one has been 40mins (yesterday) - we ended up with 4 X 40 min naps before bed eeek. I just watched his signs and the clock too....  

[jakobsmom]

Teething is horrible - and so hard because we have yet to see a tooth!  He seems to have a few bad days then a couple good again, so it must come and go.  Today first nap was 45 minutes and for the second I put him in the stroller and out we went - got a 2.5 hour nap from that   Today seems to be better he's not as clingy and playing more independantly without getting upset.  It is so weird how it seems like the teeth move a bit then stop - his gums are quite red with white regions and I can see teeth (I think) when I blanch his gums. 

Good luck with everything, right now I am more sticking to our E times and just trying to go with the flow with the naps.  Fighting him to extend naps is so not worth it right now.  It just makes him even more unhappy and scream.  Yesterday he did 3 X 45 minute naps and 1 1.5 hour.  He had an early BT too which resulted in an EW, but he was so exhausted last evening.

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Hi ladies...Just popping on to mark a spot.  I looked at the Know Your Baby Quiz today and for all the questions I can answer so far for my little Grace's short life she's definitely touchy!  Won't let me put her down, gets easily OS, hates being undressed, and if I miss her sleep window it takes aaaages to get her down.  Fun times!  DS was an angel/textbook baby so this is all new to me.    Looking forward to getting advice here as time goes by!

[ZacsMumme]

Well we had the weirdest day yesterday! DS slept 2 X 2.5 hour naps. I was terrified of waking him from them as he NEVER naps that well, but of course last night he wasn't tired for bed and didn't need as much sleep overnight so we were up at 5am. I also thought I would try just leaving him for a few minutes once the calling started to see if he had grown out of the all out wailing after a few minutes and just chill out. FAIL....he had a meltdown

Today will be fun.....I was hoping he was having a bit of a growth spurt and would sleep well las night on top of those naps. I was wrong!

Kmk512 welcome

[jakobsmom]

That's too funny, yesterday we had two short and 1 long nap with DS...pretty good for him.  However, it too did not make the night any better.  He woke at 1130, 0300 and decided to try and start the day at 0500.  He had a pretty unsettled sleep from 5 until 645....I refuse to start the day that early

DS rarely resettles himself without assistance once he is awake - however, with his 11 pm bottle he goes back in his crib awake and I hear him talking etc. and usually within 15 minutes is asleep.  He is a bit of a mystery man, I know he can settle himself to sleep, but have no idea why he can't do this at other times.

Oh well, they keep us on our toes!

[ZacsMumme]

Sounds exactly like what DS was doing a few weeks back. We had no wakings last night, and usually only getting 1 replug around 11.30 but we are also having EW of anywhere between 5-5.45am. DS is WIDE awake and happy as. I can not for the life of me get him back to sleep (I even tried APing him for an hour and it didnt work!) I figure if hes getting 10.5hrs overnight with 1 replug (5mins) I can handle that for now hehe.

I think I might try the W2S on him, I just have to get my bum out of bed at 4am to do it! I am sure he will wake right up though and it will all be over at 4am, he is so sneaky and alert like that.

I wonder if they just cant settle when they are ever so slightly uncomfortable or OT/UT you name it....sensitive souls