Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2

[tigerlilly905]

Thanks Tigerlilly! How did you place him on his side? Did you use some kind of wedge? Any particular one you recommend? I think he would really like sleeping on his side because he settles well when I put him on his side and pat his back.

Glad to help   Yes, we used a sleep positioner (and are using one now for ds2 actually) Ours is a "first years air flow" sleep positioner and it works quite well.  You can also roll up a couple of receiving blankets and place your l/o on his side between them.

[charmie]

Hi!  I just did the quiz for my 8 wk old ds Ryan.  He's mostly touchy with a touch of textbook and spirited too according to the test.  But I'm starting to doubt my answers as he's quite portable and he's fine with being held by others.  He's also got silent reflux.  I cannot get him to nap well.  And although bedtime is not bad he does sleep very fitfully after midnight.  Getting his sleep window right...no  joy.  Shus/pat keeps him awake.  I try not to stress and I tell myself things will get better.  But when I see no improvement no matter what I try I start to despair! 

[ZacsMumme]

(HUGS) Charmie. My DS Zac is a very touchy bub...but his touchy-ness (is that a word?) emerged a bit later...around about 3-4 months in particular when he became a lot more alert. Our biggest problem with Zac being touchy was that when he didnt get his sleep he got OT very very quickly....This was made worse when his reflux was bad as of course the pain would keep him up, he would miss his window and then sleep like rubbish

Not sure if this may help, and this is mega AP but we used to rock and pat Zac on the butt to the rythem of a heartbeat with his face buried in my boob or armpit...this helped block the stimulation out and gave him a rythmic movement to lul him to settle/sleep. Reflux is so hard hun, and being touchy too makes it a bit harder too. BUT They do seem to grow out of it...at least my DS is a lot better now he has hit 7 months. Just don't put your face in his or he will melt down

Question for you other mummas with touchies who are a tad older than Zac (7months) Do any of you have to contend with meltdowns when your LO is doing something they love (in our case having a bath) and then you remove it (take him out)? DS has just started to lose it when we do this...obviously the bath is now his favorite place...but he cant live in it!!!!! And I really don't want meltdowns near BT At the moment we are using distraction but I figure this may be a thing that gets worse as he gets older?

[Ima shel Alon]

(((Hugs))) Charmie, these touchy ones are hard work
Did you try to block stimulation when you put him for his naps?
I found that the pat drove my LO nuts, so I tried to do only shh and very quietly, and it worked. I guess the normal shh pierced his ears, poor soul.
What also saved us is the paci, I wouldn't have survived without it. Are you using one?
HTH

[clairebear79]

Hi Charmie - welcome to the thread.  I second what ZacsMummy said - my DS was touchy from birth but was fine being held by other people until he hit 3-4 months, when suddenly it was like he had this realisation that those other people holding him were 'strangers'.  We used swaddle & dummy to settle our LO when he got OT - this would really help to calm him.  But things do get better I promise!!  He's 9 months now, no longer uses dummy (lost interest so didn't have to wean), self settles for all sleeps & provided I catch his sleep window, he will give decent naps & STTN (although he's an early waker but that's another story!)

ZacsMummy - DS is now 9months & over the last month or so I am seeing the beginnings of 'tantrums' if I take things away from him.  He is belly crawling all over the place now & going for anything that isn't his to play with e.g. magazines, remote controls, mobile phones, wires etc etc.  If I take something away that he has managed to get hold of & say no, he will cry.  I also find the best thing to do is use distraction & try & get him interested in something else.  I guess the more mobile they get, the more this is going to keep happening!

[charmie]

Ds is 8 weeks.  Can anyone guide me as to what kind of A times a touchy bub of this age would need approximately?  And what do they look like when they are tired?  Do they need to be swaddled and ready before they show tired signs?  I cannot read this lo!  And I feel guilty and frustrated for his poor sleep.  Am I expecting too much out of him?

[MommaBrooke]

Charmie - Things started getting better for us right around 8 weeks...I was also clueless about A times for DD, I think she was low sleep needs and I was trying to put her down too soon.  Then I discovered that everything made her yawn...she yawns when bored, she yawns when hungry, and she yawns when sleepy   I used to do a "change of scene" at her first yawn to make sure it wasn't just boredom, and if she was still fussy or kept yawning then start her naptime routine (which I have always had to keep very very short).  Hang in there, things will get better soon!

[charmie]

What would the nap time routine consist of?  Here I just do swaddle, dummy, sit, cot. I have tried A times from 45 mins to 1hr 15.  I doubt he needs more A time right now with so little sleep.  Today I'm trying to do bottle, nappy, swaddle etc.  Without any play time at all.  He still fights me when we sit down.  Shush pat keeps him in a light sleep forever.  I am really at a loss.  He can't possibly continue like this.  It's way too little sleep.  I can't get him to have a decent nap neither in the swing!!

[Ima shel Alon]

I think if you put him straight after a feed to bed then he is UT, I had this problem a lot, one day he was UT, one day OT, he confused me so much. But you will get there, you will learn to see when he is ready, he is still so little and you two are getting to know each other. But yeah, I know how hard it is.
I don't know if it's the case with all touchy ones, but as someone mentioned here the time putting him down for a nap is extremely short, almost non existing. What you are telling happened to me, he fought me when I tried to sit with him so I started to put him down straight away. Try to separate between the shh and pat, some babies prefer only one of them.
 

[charmie]

Did putting him down without sitting work?  It did not work for me.  I think by that time he was ot, wanted to suck on his paci ferociously and being very fidgety he drops it and then gets upset. 

I ended up taking him out and giving him more a time.  After 15 mins he yawned, I swaddled him, he started fighting me.  Finally I put him in the swing and waited.  It took him about 20 mins of trying to keep his eyes open!  I didn't even strap him in so as not to wake him!! 

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Charmie, I don't have too much helpful advice to add, unfortunately, but to say that I completely hear you.  Grace is a champion of waking up right when I'm sure she's asleep.    I also understand about being frustrated and feeling bad for them all at the same time. It's so hard!!

Do you have a baby carrier?  That's the only way I can get Grace decent sleep and try to catch up on the OT.  Tracy said 1 nap a day in the crib at 8 weeks is great so if you can get the other sleep in the carrier maybe that will help?

Hugs, I'm struggling too so know you're not alone. 

[ZacsMumme]

I totally second/third? the short wind down, sitting with DS makes him agitated, his wind down for a while was literally 3 minutes and then he was out to it! I also agree with Brooke in that DS yawns all the time.....

In saying this, we didn't really get Zacs sleep sorted till later than 8 weeks so you are WAY ahead of us...just remember that his reflux will be affecting his sleep too, so even if he is tired, by the time you deal to the pain he may be OT poor darling!:(

Totally agree with everyone else re the dummy...it saved us here too, and helped immensely with his reflux.

[MommaBrooke]

We did carrier naps all the time if I couldn't get a crib nap...I would do anything I could and then things started sorting themselves out.  It seems like it takes forever when you are in the moment, but looking back it wasn't that long at all...DH came home one day to find my sitting in the closet with her because she was crazy OT and her room wasn't dark enough

[ZacsMumme]

hahahaha Brooke, I did that once too (closet) so glad to hear I am not the only one

DS is now 9months & over the last month or so I am seeing the beginnings of 'tantrums' if I take things away from him.

This, is exactly what I am seeing! Will keep using distraction for now...at some point they have to learn no though don't they, when I say it ie no Zac that is not a toy DS just looks at me like I'm a crazy lady, and if I use to stern a tone he gets upset.

[clairebear79]

when I say it ie no Zac that is not a toy DS just looks at me like I'm a crazy lady, and if I use to stern a tone he gets upset.

So far I've opted for a gentle but firm approach (even though in my head I might want to shout NO!  ) e.g.:  'no Oliver, you can't eat the wires because they are dangerous' or 'no Oliver, you mustn't eat Daddy's magazine because he might like to read it later'.  Spot a common theme there?..... he eats everything!!!!

I know he doesn't understand what I'm saying yet but I figure if I explain why I'm saying no, as he gets older he will eventually come to understand, and if at that point he still repeats the behaviour then I can be more firm with him.  But atm he is just little & exploring the world & his newfound mobility - he doesn't understand why he can't have some things or why some things are dangerous.