Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2

[wifetob]

Hi all, I'm not sure if my dd (12 months) is spirited or touchy or both- where is the quiz? Cant seem to find it. Thanks.

[*Ali*]

The quiz is in the book but the baby one is also on the EASY FAQs  page here The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"
The toddler one for 12mo+ is on the Sleeping for Toddlers board here The BW "Know Your Toddler Quiz"

[scruffymax]

Hi, I haven't had a chance to read back through the thread (will try later!) but I just wanted to check what others have found to be good WD for touchy babies.  I have a 7 week old touchy little man, and he goes from playing happily on the floor to all-out meltdown in about 3 seconds.  I seriously cannot calm him down other than putting him in the carrier - and I am happy to do this some of the time, but it's the middle of summer, 30+ degrees everyday and we both suffer from the extra heat.  I do get him to sleep in the bassinet but it is usually a matter of putting him down when he is already crying, leaving him a few minutes and sometimes he will put himself to sleep, and if not I go in and pat his bottom and that usually puts him to sleep pretty quickly.  I hate that he is crying though.  The few times I've got him in the right window he has gone to sleep pretty peacefully but it's so hard to pick - especially because he displays sleep cues way earlier than *should* be age appropriate.  It probably doesn't help that he is a super speedy feeder (usually 10 mins max) so even to get to 40 mins A time means he has already spent 30 minutes chatting to me, playing on the floor etc.  I'm going to try to be super observant of sleepy cues and put him down before he gets OT/OS, but I think that will mean his EASY will drop from 3hrs down to 2/2.5hrs because I can't really expect him to nap for over 2 hrs each time.

[Ima shel Alon]

I know that many mommies will disagree with me, but what worked for us is just clock watching. Cues were never reliable with my touchy guy and I always had him OT or UT if I went by them.

But if you can get him to sleep with some patting then it's great. At this age he still can't do it by himself so if he needs only little help you are lucky!

If you are going to reduce his A times too much then he might be UT, therefore not nap for long and have more NW at night. Of course it's worth a try, but just bare it in mind.

[scruffymax]

Yesterday I followed his cues and he had quite short A times (less than an hour, for an 8 week old).  First nap was fine (1hr 45 mins), the next 2 naps needed multiple resettles, catnap ended up being quite long, then he woke and fed 3 times between 3am and 6:30am (normally feeds 2-3 times overnight).  I was thinking the frequent early morning wakings might have been from UT so today I'm trying to increase A times... first nap he woke at 10 mins and resettled himself but only slept just under an hour total, second nap (now) he has already woken at 10mins and resettled himself so I'm expecting he's OT and will again wake at 30-40 mins. Bleugh.  Why don't they come with a step-by-step, minute-by-minute instruction manual???

[Daisy_6]

Hi

I speed-read BW after going through yet another meltdown. My baby is 14 weeks and is a touchy baby. I felt comforted after reading the book and angry at the advice I'd been given since having my son, which lead to the routine mess I am in now (so accurately described by Tracy as a on-demand mother).

My problems are:
1. Nurses to sleep, so hard to do EASY (more like ESAES at the moment)
2. Cannot go to sleep in own bed by himself
3. Fights the swaddle but sleeps better with it due to crazy startle reflex
4. Always need to be held

My days have become basically staying in my room in the dark trying to get him to nap, all day in PJs, taking 3 hours to settle him for bed (feed, put down, he wakes, feed, repeat), no time for anything and totally exhausted.


My husband and I decided to start our baby on EASY, from last night. It basically ended 7 hours after starting bedtime and he fell asleep at 1am after passing out from fatigue on my shoulder. During this time, he spent most of the time on our shoulder as he wouldn't stop crying and I was hoarse from all the sshing. He slept till 6 this morning, I fed time and he fell asleep and I put him back in his bed, and he woke up at 7.30. We weren't sure whether to start the day since he had so little sleep, but went with it. I fed him and as usual he fell asleep for 15min, and I started doing A when he woke up. I could tell he was still tired though he was smiling.

When I tried to initiate S, again I fed him till asleep, and he woke up as soon as he hit the bed, and would not stop crying. Ssh/patting did not calm him, not even when I picked him up. He is sleeping now on me because I feel really sorry for him for lack of sleep, and it would be the only time I can type this.

I feel I have done so many things wrong and caused all of these bad habits and I am at a loss how to start rectifying them.

I know its way early days to see any results, but I do wonder if EASY and ssh/pat will work in the end for a baby with his temperament? We believe we caused his bad habits and its our job to teach him properly, but really don't want to cause him so much stress if there is a more appropriate way.

Please help us, I am worried I will suffer from pnd if this lifestyle continues and my husband is worried sick about me. I will very happily pay for a consultant to meet my baby and suggest a way forward for us. I feel so incredibly helpless now.

Thanks ever so much.

[Ima shel Alon]

scruffymax, the NW do sound UT... hope you are successful with tweaking A times.

Daisy, hugs, touchies can be hard work. This support thread is for specific advice about touchies and how to help them cope well with being stimulated so easily and sensitive.
It sounds to me that you need advice about that AND someone to look generally at your EASY and routine. I suggest that you copy and paste your post into a new topic in the EASY board. Hope that's ok with you

[Jservello]

Hi al I'm hoping this gets read because there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of activity. Anyways I have an 8 week old touchy DS. The issue I'm having is he's very clingy. He sleeps in his cradle during the night but for his naps I cannot get him to stay asleep unless I have him  on me for the entire thing. It's making it so that there is no Y to my EASY. How do I get him off me and into his cradle for his naps?

[Ima shel Alon]

I would suggest that you start a thread on the EASY board or on the general sleep board. I am not sure that this has to do with him being touchy, it sounds to me more like it's routine issues or AP that he got used to.

[dache]

Hi al I'm hoping this gets read because there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of activity. Anyways I have an 8 week old touchy DS. The issue I'm having is he's very clingy. He sleeps in his cradle during the night but for his naps I cannot get him to stay asleep unless I have him  on me for the entire thing. It's making it so that there is no Y to my EASY. How do I get him off me and into his cradle for his naps?

Did you start a new thread? If yes, can I have the link pls?

[*Ali*]

The pp's thread is here New to EASY having a hard time with wake ups and bedtime 

[epting57]

So had to do a little travel today with DD.  We had a baptism to attend two hours away and then a lunch afterwards. 

Left house at 8am right after DD finished bottle.  She went right back to sleep in car for trip.  Got to destination. Changed clothes at MOMS house and went to church.  DD had another bottle at church. Seemed happy and alert looking at all the people.  It really wasn't a big church.  Maybe 75 people.

I knew they had an organ and was nervous how she would react as this would be her first experience.  Well as i feared she started crying as soon as it started up.  I took her outside and she fell asleep, so i went back in church and held her the whole service while she slept. PS actually missed the baptism part.

went to lunch where she seemed happy for about 45 mins.  But after meme holding her and taking lots of photos plus others wanting to see her for the first time, she got really upset.  I took her to a different room so we could be alone which helped but nothing could really console her.  She took another bottle but started crying right after it.  We ended up having to leave and go back home because she was just having total meltdown and I knew she was just overstimulated and tired.  As soon as we left she fell asleep and napped for three straight hours.

How do you guys ever go to larger gatherings.  PS she is two months

[*Ali*]

Regular breaks like you were doing helped it does get better as they get older.

[zportiss]

Hello!
I am hoping for some good advice with my ebf  5 month touchy (spirited) little girl.  We have a complicated sleep training mess.  She has always nursed to sleep, has no firm schedule (trying for 4hr easy) and is a very, very bad napper, and lately she is waking right after going down at night.

Any tips on pu/pd shush pat?  My husband and I have decided to start it in the next few days.  I'm so nervous about starting it because I don't know if I have the resolve and when it comes to bf my lo is crazy serious about it for such a lo.  When we head to the couch or bed where I nurse her she immediately starts crying with desperation to nurse....every time.   Sometimes she gets pretty mad and I'm always scrambling to get my boob out to calm her.  Now at naptime, when I try anything else sitting or standing rocking, bouncing, patting, she has that same level of cry...impatient, angry, nurse me right now so I can go to sleep!

Has anyone else used shush-pat or pu/pd with a touchy lo that is extremely difficult to get to sleep and successfully been able to break a nursing prop?   

She's so easily stimulated too....example: today she was napping in my arms and her stomach made a noise, she startled, eyes popped open, and she probably would have drifted back off except she noticed the sheets I recently hung over the windows and started studying them.  Tried covering her eyes but she just fought me and it stimulated her even more...

Also, yesterday we went to lunch with a big group of family and she cried off and on in fear of all the strangers and then last night she woke several times crying and when I settled her her eyes were closed and it seemed like she was dreaming about her scary day   breaks my heart!  Does anyone else's touchies have bad dreams after a stressful day?

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs, my first was very touchy and still is sensitive but it does ease up as they are more able to take in the world around them

Does she have any reflux or colic etc? - does she nurse to sleep for all naps and night sleep? - you can definately try gradual weaning at this age? If you rock or cuddle to sleep to I you can introduce patting on the bottom or back while you hold/rock and then transfer to the cot patting. It's a gradual change but works well.

I'd avoid PU/pd if you can. It's very stimulating for some LOs and touchies tend to get too worked up.