8 month DS won't nurse during the day!

[ElsMom]

The ladies on the NW board suggested I post here. For about the last 2 months, my DS has stopped nursing during the day and wants two full meals at night. I have tried getting him right after his nap while he's still a bit sleepy and keeping him in the dark room, but he'll only eat for about 2 minutes and then he'll quit. I assume he's getting the liquid nutrition he needs, just at the wrong times. I tried the DF for about 2 months, and it didn't help anything, so I went back to letting him wake on his own. He doesn't need me to nurse him to sleep, and he doesn't want anything but food when he wakes at night. He screams until I nurse him, but it's rarely more than twice a night, and rarely less than 4 hrs since his last waking (unless other issues are going on). I started giving him a bottle of ebm at his first NW so I'd know how much he was getting, as I feel kind of drained by the end of the day.

Here's our E routine:

7:00 am - nurse 5 min at most, usually just about 2 min
8:30 am - solids - eating well most days, getting excited about finger foods
9:30 am - nap, cries to nurse but I don't let him - can't really be too hungry because sleeps til 11:15 without it
11:30 am - nurse about 2 min, cries and fusses if try to get him to eat more
12:45 pm - solids, eats well
2:10 - nurse about 20 minutes (then immediately naps)
4:00 - nurse 0-2 minutes
5:30 - solids, eats well
6:30 - nurse 30 minutes (then immediately sleeps)
1st NW (between 10 pm and midnight) - drinks 6-7.5 oz bottle in 5-10 minutes
2nd NW - (between 1:30 am and 3:30 am) nurses 15-30 minutes

If I try to get him to nurse more, he yells and fights and squirms away. On the days he has a bottle (rarely), he'll take about 5 oz at 11:00 am and 4 oz at 4:00 pm. So I think he's just too excited to see the world, and you can't really look around when you're nursing, but you can when you're drinking a bottle. During the day, he looks all over the place and dawdles with the bottle, but he'll take it a bit at a time. I'm pumping as much as I can right now, so I don't really want to stop nursing for a daytime feed and give him a bottle - I'd have to use more formula and I'd rather not do that. Should I move the daytime feeds around? Make his solids correspond better to our meals? I was thinking about changing to this --

7:00 am solids
9:00 am BF
11:00 am solids
2:00 pm BF
5:30 solids
6:30 BF

But that doesn't seem like enough? I know if he didn't eat so much at night he'd probably eat better during the day, but I'd rather get him to eat more during the day FIRST, rather than not feeding him when he's hungry at night so then he'll want to eat more the next day, if that makes sense. Thank you!

[anna*]

Maybe you could start out by only feeding once at night, and then maybe he would take some more during the day next day, and then if that works you could drop the second night feed. I know you would prefer to up the daytime intake before dropping any night time intake, but it could be that if he's getting two full feeds at night that he's got no incentive to take more in the daytime!

[natashakate]

Hi. Not been through this personally but my friend has had the same problem over the past few weeks.

Her DS started refusing day feeds - she worked out that it was a problem of him being too nosey and wanting to keep playing/doing other things. She had also started introducing bottles of EBM during the day every once in awhile and he wolfed these down. She tried to feed in a quiet, darkened room but it didn't help.
In the end she decided it came down to him becoming lazy and impatient on the breast during the day when he wanted his milk quickly. She decided to keep expressing and giving him EBM from a bottle during the day; he increased his milk intake during the day and dropped his night feeds on his own.

She also tried slow-flow bottles that mimic the sucking required for BF (which did work a little when he did go on the breast - but ultimately changing to bottle feeding worked for her).

Don''t know if this is any help whatsoever - and you possibly don't want to stop BF'ing altogether (if not you could maybe change the bottles?)  but thought I'd share her experience with you. Good luck. 

Natasha. 

[A pair of Charlies]

Hi there

If it was me, I think I would try Anna's suggestion by dropping one of those night feeds and holding out. Hungrier the next morning and will maybe take better feeds that day to make it up. I'd try that for a few days.

The day feeds he struggles with - how about taking him to your bed when he wakes from that nap. Nappy & knickers time for a feed in a darkened (not dark!) room. Lie down for the feed, cuddly and snuggly. If he comes off, let him. If he crawls or shuffles around, let him. Encourage him back, keep him safe, but let him enjoy the time rather than pressure for the feed. Sing, look at texture / noisy books, small handheld toys etc; try things that bring him back to you for a feed and entertainment. I did this with my DS to get him to take the mid morning and mid afternoon feeds (and to improve my supply) and worked well, but did take a little patience! After a few days or so we didn't need to strip off each time! I did beatbox (very very very badly and never to be done in public) and he loved it! He'd come off the breast, laugh, carry on feeding or if he was crawling around the bed, it would be something that could entice him back.

I guess if you feel that the world is too exciting that he doesn't want the feed - then make the feed exciting and interesting? Interesting necklaces, tops with funny buttons etc to fiddle with can also help, but usually with a younger age group.

I do remember a few Mamas sharing that they had luck with solids & BFs by switching the 2 around. Not the morning BF, but doing a snacky lunch and then a BF later (swapping the timings over). Again, could try it for 3 days if dropping a night feed etc doesn't help.

HTH

Charlotte