4 months - won't take DF from DH

[brynhilde]

Hi
DD is 4 months and in the past week or so has started refusing the DF when given by DH. She has been EBF but always had a bottle of EBM for the DF (DH and I took turns giving it) and recently we have started giving formula, mainly because I am sick of expressing all the time!
Recently though, she has started to wake screaming whenever DH tries to give her the DF. If I do it she is fine and takes it without waking up. I suspect this is part of an increased awareness of "mummy" and attachment to me - does that sound right for this age? I've noticed during the day too she tends to prefer if I hold her and can become quite distressed when I'm not around, even if she's with DH.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and whether you have any suggestions for how to get past it?
Thanks!!

[natashakate]

Hi. I had this with my DD (thankfully DH is now in the 'inner circle!')
I found that if my DH had a piece of my clothing with him then she was less likely to realise (in her sleepy state) that it wasn't me because she could 'smell me' - especially if it was my t-shirt. I have also sat with her teddy down my t-shirt (sounds weird I know!) so that it has a familiar 'mummy' smell. I also noticed that he held her differently to me - the difference was only slight but once he changed how he held her she settled much easier (much closer to a BF position, tummy-to-tummy, arm hooked round the back)
I think as they get older they move in and out of mummy attachment mode - my LO is 7.5 mo and just starting one again, but I think if you go with your baby and let them need you then they realise there is nothing to worry about and get over it much quicker. it seemed to work with DS, so fingers crossed no. 2 will be the same!
Don't know if these will help but maybe worth a try. Good luck!
Natasha. 

[brynhilde]

Hi! Thanks so much for sharing. Unfortunately things have gotten worse as this has moved on to her rejecting the bottle entirely, whether given by me or DH. (I've just posted on this as a separate topic in bottle feeding.)
I do think there's mummy attachment at play here, because at the same time she's started becoming really fussy (and sometimes hysterical) when I'm not around. Poor DH is feeling very rejected, and I'm feeling very tied down!
Anyways, think we need to get her on the bottle again first and foremost... will continue to persevere. Hopefully it's just a phase.....

[natashakate]

Oh dear. It's nice to feel wanted but I know it's really frustrated to feel tied down. My LO also went from taking the bottle totally fine for about a month and then one day she just rejected it totally. This is the advice I was given by many sources:

1) try a different bottle
2) keep perservering - babies won't starve themselves (this one is hard, especially if you find it difficult to hear them cry)
3) forget the bottle and offer milk in a beaker or cup (a 'doidy cup' is especially recommended)
4) keep breastfeeding and wait until she drops her feeds when weaning (obviously a way off for you)
5) keep offering the bottle but don't force the issue

Obviously you could try a combination of all/none of these...not sure what you've already tried (haven't read your other post).
We opted for the cup and wait for weaning approach as it's not super important for us that she takes a bottle. My friend on the other hand whose DD is 4.5mo has recently opted for the stick it out approach and it worked for her - her LO just stopped fighting it one feed and started taking the bottle.

HTH in some way. Fingers crossed that whatever you try works.

Not sure if you'll check this thread so will post in your bottle feeding thread too.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Natasha.

[brynhilde]

Thanks Natasha! In the interest of not running two parallel threads I'm jumping back to the feeding thread.