Help my 9 month old sleep better!!

[CrimpleDimple]

Okay, for the past three days he's been waking up earlier and earlier. He went to bed at 9 pm last night and woke up at 6 30 am this morning!

[deckchariot]

Remember, you want to aim for 12 hr days, so if he's waking at 6:30, he needs to be heading to bed by 6:30.  Can you post what yesterday's EASY was like?  Let's start there....

[CrimpleDimple]

Honestly, I don't think anything is going to get better until I can regulate how much ounces of milk he is actually getting per feeding. I don't think I'm producing enough at every feeding so he eats more frequently than he should. Sometimes I end up feeding him before AND after naps, sometimes somewhere in between, too. He isn't eating his solid meals very well, either...he is a really tough baby to work with!

I'll just post his sleep schedule because everything else is all over the place.

Woke @ 7:45 am
First nap @ 11:20 am- 12:15 pm
Second nap @ 3:25 pm - 5:30 pm

I tried having him in bed around 8 pm but he didn't end up falling asleep until 9 pm.

[deckchariot]

I notice that his first A time is a lot longer than his 2nd A time - has that generally been his pattern?  I might move that first nap earlier in the day, so that the 2nd nap moves earlier.  I'm guessing you're having bedtime issues because his last A time of the day is much shorter.  At this age, bubs are doing between 3-4 hrs of A time.  It looks like he did 3.5 then just over 3, then you tried for bed at 2.5 - based on that EASY, his most successful nap was after the just over 3 hrs of A time - so you might want to aim for A times closer to that.

In terms of his eating = if that's a concern, please do post on feeding solid foods or bfing for some suggestions there.  It's possible he's snacking with the bfing.  My hunch is that your supply is fine.  Are you offering solids about 1 hr after bfing?

[CrimpleDimple]

The reason his A time was like that was because my SO was watching him and can't put LO to sleep as well as I can. Also, LO usually fits sleep for about 10-30 minutes ....very rarely he falls asleep immediately. Today was terrible ....he fought just about every nap and bedtime was miserable. I bathed him and attempted to wind down and so on around 6 10 so I could hopefully get him in bed by 6 30 ....he didn't go to sleep until 7. Lots of hysterical crying ect . I'm really at a loss here. He's not eating well, he's not getting enough rest ....I'm miserable.

[CrimpleDimple]

Anyway, I don't think these 12 hr days are working. Just about every time I put him down at the corresponding PM as he woke at AM ...he wakes in about an hour and won't go back to sleep. He wants to be up and playing.

[CrimpleDimple]

I officially give up. I'm done. I have a spawn of satan ...literally.

[deckchariot]

oh honey {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time.  Sleep training is really, really hard.  Is it possible he's ill - if he's not eating well, there might be something else entirely going on.  I'm going to see if I can get a few more eyes on this.

Please don't give up; he's miserable too, and you can help him, I know you can.  We'll do whatever we can to hold your hand through this.

[speechie]

I've read all the way through, honey, I'm sorry you are feeling so defeated. FWIW, my LO had a really hard time settling. It does get better. IMO, the nursing to sleep association sounds like it's really not broken yet. In addition, I also wonder if he's either teething or has a quiet ear infection? May be worth having the nurse/md check ears? Or try some tylenol for one night and see if it makes a difference?
It's got to be harder to sleep train your LO if all of his caregivers are not on board. Consistency and compassion are really the key. Can you write out what time you want your LO to start winding down for nap and what the hoped for schedule of the day is?
Hugs hang in there!

[CrimpleDimple]

As far as being ill, yes, in the past he has had ear infections which I was going into the doctor weekly to make sure they cleared up and if not, more antibiotics. Those cleared up but his sleep never improved and it's still been about the same. This was about a month and a half ago. As far as teething, he has 6 teeth, in which all have broken through and I've looked in his mouth and don't see anything that may be coming in.

If either of these become a possibility, how do I work with it while sleep training? I just booked an appointment to have him checked out again.

Anyway, lately the caregivers have been working with the schedule I provide so I've got them on board so far.


As far as his schedule, should his A time be 3 hours before nap #1, 3 hours before nap #2 and 3 hours before bedtime? How long of a wind down should I give him? ...It's really hard doing a wind down with him when he's fussing in my arms and/or crying because I won't let him down to play, ect. Every day is different with my LO. Some days the wind down works wonderfully, other days he fights it ...and so on. HE is inconsitent and it's frustrating me. It started off good, went to bad, back to good for a day, back to bad for 3 days .....is that normal?



I want to thank all of you that are working with me through this. It really means a lot to me.

[CrimpleDimple]

Oh, he usually naps about 3 hours during the day ...should I try cutting it down to 2.5 hours?

[CrimpleDimple]

Now, by blacked out, do you mean absolutely no lights whatsoever? Like no clock, no light from the crack of the door? Because we have two clocks and our bathroom is usually bright as can be during his afternoon nap so you can see bright light coming from under the door.....should I do something about these things? Anyway, I guess we don't have a solid wind down. It's really difficult with him because he fusses and cries and literally claws his way out of my arms ....lately I've had headaches 24/7 from the lack of sleep and I just can't take much struggle from him. Often times I just have to set him down in his crib and breath! Before this, he would nurse to sleep pretty much every nap and bedtime. Now, he won't even do that! He hasn't nursed to sleep this past week even if I wanted him to, he won't.....

[speechie]

Hi Hon- yeah- It does sound like your wind down may be needs some help? What personality type is your LO- spirited, touchy, grumpy, textbook, angel?
My spirited LO needed a LONG wind down, starting right after supper. At that age, after he ate supper and was BF, we went upstairs for a bath, then reading books in the rocker with lovey, said prayers, and sang our night night song. It is still the same at 3 yo! He really benefits from the same night time routine each and every night. Helps when we travel too!
So, our wind down would start at 6:30 PM with the bath, and then end close to 7:30PM. REally relaxed and leisurely. Would your LO benefit from white noise? bedtime massage with lavender lotion? Does he have a lovie?
I really feel for you, even with my consistent wind down, schedule, and PU/PD, Nick didn't sleep through the night till 14 mos. I can tell you now that you will get through this, it will get easier! It is NOT easy and I give you credit for sticking with it!

It's really difficult with him because he fusses and cries and literally claws his way out of my arms

To me, it sounds as thought your LO is either uncomfortable (? ears) or undertired/overtired?
I am glad you are getting his ears checked again, that was at the crux of many of our hard nights.

in the past he has had ear infections which I was going into the doctor weekly to make sure they cleared up and if not, more antibiotics. Those cleared up but his sleep never improved and it's still been about the same. This was about a month and a half ago. As far as teething, he has 6 teeth, in which all have broken through and I've looked in his mouth and don't see anything that may be coming in.

If either of these become a possibility, how do I work with it while sleep training? I just booked an appointment to have him checked out again

You can't sleep train if a child is hurting. You have to comfort that LO the best you can. You have to remove the source of pain, then start fresh. If it is an ear infection/teething, you may see improvement with a dose of tylenol as per MD recs.
Hugs and strength for one more day!

[CrimpleDimple]

I tried an hour long wind down last night .....it didn't really work. It started at 8 and he finally fell asleep at 9 30.....with me, in our bed.

Went to the doctor today. No ear infection, he's perfectly healthy. Doc did say it looked like he did have another tooth coming in, though. Anyways, he has been getting his teeth in back to back. Does this mean I'm in for months and months of teething or will he eventually get used to it?

[CrimpleDimple]

Well, last night I wasn't trying or anything. SO and I went out to eat kind of late and decided to just let LO stay awake. After eating we got back in the car around 9 pm and he fell asleep. We got home and I put him in his crib, he slept until 9 45. I went in and he fell back asleep immediately and continued to sleep until 11 45 when I went in and did a dreamfeed. He slept until 5 am!!!!!!!!!!! and then he wouldn't go back to bed until 6  but he got back in his crib at 6 and fell asleep until 7 where I took him in bed and we slept until 9!