need nap help! 18 months old

[alohahellokitty]

Oh looks like we were posting at the same time. So sorry he's back up from the neighbor's noise. GRRRRRR

Once he does take that nap when you go to him try to really build him up and tell him how proud of him you are. He did such a great nap, bet he feels better now that he's rested, lets go and do something really fun and have a super yummy snack... exc........

I'd really start to communicate with him about nap/bt's... have some chats about the 'rule' about how EVERYONE (this was one of the keys to helping anna) has to nap once a day (daddy goes into the bedroom like he's going to nap and Jace goes into his crib.... in the beginning, doesn't have to now though) and everyone goes to bed. Everyone in our house does it and its a good thing.

Try to play naps/bt out with a teddybear. Give lots of warnings 10 min's, 5 min's. I do after lunch we will take a nap. Okay its lunch time in about 15 min's we will nap. Okay lets clean up lunch, we will nap in a couple min. Okay all cleaned up, lets change your diaper and go down for a nap. Okay we are changing your diaper we will go upstairs for nap time. Diaper done, lets go put baby doll in her bed for nap. Dolly's resting so lets go upstairs for Anna's nap time. then we head up stairs. It takes her at least 15 min's (if she doesnt ask for the nap) to wrap her mind around going down for the nap.

[*Jo*]

I started doing that today, in teh car on the way home i said "when we get home we will take a nap" "oh we are nearly home, almost time for sleep" etc, he fell asleep in the car for 2 mins, i transferred him to his cot and as soon as his head hit the pillow his eyes popped open. That was exactly an hour ago... he is still screaming as I type. he just stands up and I put him down. every now and then he stops for about a minute but then revs up even more than before.

DH wants to take over now that Ive been doing it an hour, but that will just disrupt him wont it?

[alohahellokitty]

ahhhhhhhhhh yes when Anna wasn't accepting her nap/bt the minuet her head would hit the pillow she would go bonkers and pop up screaming in total outrage. grrrrrr. hate that.

We don't do the put down part. it makes her soooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry. But if it doesn't rev him up and tick him off royally then I would go ahead and do it.

We just walk in and tell her to lay down, us laying her down makes her sooooooo irate. I don't even step in her room, I just open the door and smile telling her to lay down its nap time, I love her and will see her when she wakes.

TBH I'm not sure if it disrupts it or not. We've had to trade off before when someone has to leave the house for a appointment/ errand or one parent is just too mad/exhausted exc........... I think every lo is different. You can try letting him take over and see how it goes. He does need to know both parents expect the same out of him. But I wouldn't trade back and forth every time someone walks in. Just only when necessary.

[*Jo*]

ok, i am losing it with him now, its just gone 1 hour 20mins and hes still going strong. whats the bloody hell is the matter with this kid??!! I think I will let DH take over, when Dh was doing it at 1am it only took 40mins but it is daytime so that makes a difference, but i tell you what, i dont care if i have to go three hours with Wi/Wo this time we are not giving in, he HAS to sleep!

Update: its been 1 hour 40mins, still no sign of him giving up.. Dh just asked me "will it ever stop?" are we going to be doing Wi/Wo till bedtime?

[*Jo*]

we are up to 2.5 hours of Wi/Wo........ when do I stop?

[*Jo*]

ok we stopped at 2.5 hours. DH said if he wasnt going to sleep at that point hten he wasnt going to sleep, we are going to try again in an hour and if that doesnt work we will drive around for a little bit even if he just gets 15mins sleep, something to carry him trhough till bedtime. I feel like Im going crazy!

Hes still passing ALOT of wind.... maybe its not the pain meds because Ive slacked off on them alot for that very reason... maybe he has a tummy bug?

[*Jo*]

still couldnt get another nap into him, so he literally slept 7 mins all day, in teh car! its 4.50pm and ive just put him to bed now, its early I know but Im going on the fact that hes not had a nap in three days....

Tonight i decided to take my time wiht him, ive been reading Raising Your Spirited Child in teh sleep part and it talked about how spiriteds cant destress once they get caught up in it all and its our job to help them be calm before bedtime, so at 4.15pm I took him to his room and we got dressed slowly then i decided to give him a little leg massage which he seemed to really enjoy. I kept talking to him the whole time saying "after your nappy is on we will read a story, then have our bedtime milk" then after that i said "now we will brush your teeth and read another story and after that its cuddles and into bed" which went really well. I cuddled him for quite a bit because I felt that he really needed comfort and everytime I said our key phrase he pulled my neck in tight as if to say "dont you go anywhere" but then i said to him "We really need to sleep, if we dont sleep then we wont have any energy to play! and we love to play dont we?" so then I sang him a song or two and just kept cuddling him, telling him I loved him... i really dragged it out, wanted to make sure he was really relaxed. then i said our key phrase three times instead of just one, i would say "Its time for sleep now sweetheart" then he pulled me in so i said it again and the last time i said "Its time for sleep now, Im going to pop you into your cot and it will be time for you to sleep" So i put him in and as i shut the door he began crying and after about 2 mins he stopped! so its all quiet....

Im going to try this same approach for naptime too, do a long wind down of about half an hour, really help him to be relaxed and calm for bed and hope that helps. Its obvious by todays escapade that Wi/Wo isnt working so I have no idea what to do but keep doing what Im doing and hope for the best.

Liana -  just wondering again about your set times, if you were ever refused a nap did you still stick to a 7pm bedtime? I just pondered whether doing that today, he was just so exhausted I didnt think he was gonna make it, he refused lunch and dinner today so i didnt think I could do much else with him really

[katie80]

Great job on bedtime, Jo!  It sounds like the slow approach really helped.     I'd do the same for naps.  We don't keep a set bedtime if the nap is a bust, like you had today.  That just wouldn't work here!  I think you did exactly the right thing.

With the nap, I honestly think it was the 7 min in the car that did you in.  I think these toddlers get to an age where that little amount of sleep, then disrupted at an inconvenient time, prevents them from going back.  I remember going to ILs when DD was about 16.5 mo.  We stopped for coffee and didn't realize that she'd been sleeping for a few min.  She woke and wouldn't fall back to sleep for 1.5 hours longer in the car; she was so upset!  It was terrible!   

Next time, you might have to have one of you sit in the back with him to keep him awake til you get home.  Then, proceed with your wind-down and nap.  I think he'll probably do better with that than trying to transfer him.

Hope the night went well! 

[*Jo*]

DH said the same thing about the car rides Katie...

However we are now in a dilemma, its 2.45am, he woke up at 2.30am with massive explosive diarrhea, had to change his clothes and nappy etc and boy it stunk, ive never smelt it like that before, ive never seeen him wiht a nappy like that before, his stomach is making the most awful noises so its clear hes got some sort of tummy bug, some sort of gastro perhaps? that would explain the passing of wind. so we cant do Wi/wo when hes like this, hes dreadful upset and his tummy is making awful noises....

cant help but wonder if its the nurofen i keep giving him... however DH is patting him back to sleep now as hes really not well.

[Tweakster]

Jo do you guys have paracetamol there?  It's easier on the tummy and can help with teeth too. 

[alohahellokitty]

OMG Jo!! I'm sooooo sorry!! We just got back from being at my parents house after church.

Sounds bad. Poor little guy! He's really having a rough time.

Sounds as he does in fact have a tummy bug.

Since wi/wo isn't established and you have the ability (no other lo to care for) I would go back to your primary way of putting him down (patting). I never think its right to do new sleep training with any illness going on. In other words I don't 'change up the game' when they are ill. Its not really fair to him as that is the only way he knows how to go down when not well. You can always get a fresh start after he is well.

When on the set nap/bt and the nap was a 'no go', we just did bt when she could no longer tolerate being awake. So we did a couple 5pm bt's. Its okay to do that here and there until you get that nap well established, especially if they are teething and just can't make it. I don't do it ever on a regular basis as it will set their body clocks to that time... the older they get the easier it is (with constant early bt's) to set their clocks to that time if always put down then. Then you get in the early bt/ early waking cycle. So I stretch until I know we just need to put her down, and then I do it. I also find as they get older they don't fight nap/bt b/c of OT, they crash out.... baby and toddler sleep are quite different. As they get older things change.

Sounds like your extra communication is working for bt. I would keep that up FOR SURE! Really prepare him mentally and give him time to get himself ready to go down. Spirited kids need more time sometimes than others. Trying to portray it as a good thing sounds like its working too (we need to let our bodies rest so we can get up and play more, everyone has to rest so we feel better and can have more fun exc..........)

KATIE YOU ARE SOOOOOOO RIGHT!! If you or DH can stay in the back seat with him on the way home from church to give him snacks/ play with him to keep him up that's best. Then do wind down and nap time.... other wise he's at the age he'll start to sometimes refuse the transfer.

Sounds like you might need to just stick with the patting and ride it out until he's well. Later then you can asses it with DH and decide if you want him to learn to go to sleep another way. But I wouldn't forge ahead at all with him being ill. Just love and comfort for now.

Sure hope he gets better soon!

[*Jo*]

Wendy - yep have paracetamol. will be giving it to him today

Liana - the patting still didnt work last night so we gave him a bottle (as he hardly ate yesterday, probably due to his sore tummy) then gave him lots of cuddles, did the whole "its time for sleep, will put you into bed in a minute so you can sleep" thing again and then put him into bed, he cried as I left, i waited, went back in and put him down and said "its time for sleep sweetheart" and he mantra cried himself back to sleep!

then he was up at 6am so with all NW's it was a 12 hour night

So this morning he was playing with his teddy and I had this conversation with Teddy:

"Good morning Teddy, did you sleep well? Oh you did? you slept ALL night?! thats fantastic! you must feel so good! and I saw you had a nice long nap yesterday too! I am so proud of you Teddy!! Its so wonderful when you sleep and get more energy, then we can all play together!" Caleb chatted away to him as well for a bit then started playing with him again, so i said "Oh i love how you have so much more energy to play with Caleb Teddy, it must be because you had a wonderful nap yesterday and a long sleep last night, it really do feel so good to have a sleep doesnt it! You are a very  good sleeper, I bet you cant wait to take your nap today!"

So who knows how much Caleb took in but he started putting him under the blankets and they pretended to sleep a bit LOL

[*Jo*]

so its naptime now and I did heaps of relaxing with him, but the screaming has begun and im back to Wi/Wo again..... Ive given pain relief, ive done all that I can to help him be calm but this boy is refusing to sleep. this has been going on for a week now of no naps.

He didnt fall asleep in teh car this morning but he was seriously tired by naptime

[alohahellokitty]

Great night last night!!! Sounds like Caleb is liking playing it out with teddy. You would be surprised how much they do take in. Sometimes when DH is home before I put her down for her nap we go and tuck Daddy in first. She gets a  real kick out of that! LOL!!

He's just having a rough time with this tummy bug and also the teething.

With the tummy bug make sure to keep him hydrated. One new trick I learned is to make homemade Popsicles with fresh juice/fruit and freeze them. I always give them to Anna when she's sick and its good vitamin C and hydration.

[alohahellokitty]

looks like we were posting again at the same time.

I'm so sorry he's on a nap strike!!! I remember that. soooooooooooooooooooo frustrating. nothing like the sound of a screaming toddler to make you anxious!