18 month sleep regression support thread

[stardust599]

lily - i don't think your LO is ready to drop the nap.  my LO can sometimes tack on after a no nap day and take a super long night but it's not a long term solution!   i guess i am too late now but what did you do in the end?  i would be tempted to PD later to work with the later WU but I would also cap the night so she is ready for bed.


well, girls today i had a much better day.  after last night she was in a horrible mood but we went swimming and out in the sunshine and i did usual PD at 12.30pm.  i accidentally let LO sleep 2hours15mins as was sleeping myself but i'm glad i did now as she woke by herself in a fantastic mood and has been a little star all afternoon, so happy, eaten great and not a single whinge or clinginess!   I have no idea what has been up with her.  BT at 7.25pm with no fuss, she could have been ever so slightly UT at BT from the longer nap, shorter A but at least we won't have a 5am EW from OT!  I'll be very happy if we make 6am tomorrow but just wish we could get a consistent WU time so that I can work towards a consistent nap and BT.

sorry for no punctuation or rubbish spelling, i'm on my phone and it takes forever!

[lily528]

If you cut the nap AND push BT & it goes wrong you won't know which is to blame.

Agreed!  solid advice!  good luck!

[lily528]

lily - i don't think your LO is ready to drop the nap.  my LO can sometimes tack on after a no nap day and take a super long night but it's not a long term solution!   i guess i am too late now but what did you do in the end?  i would be tempted to PD later to work with the later WU but I would also cap the night so she is ready for bed.

No she is def not ready to drop the nap, but admittedly still scary when it happens...I am pushing for this nap for as long as I can.  I know she still NEEDS it.  yes I put down later only by 15 mins and worked out great!

Glad you had a better day...sounds good.  sometimes it just takes one good day to bring a slew of them..hopefully you get the later wu and have a starting point...good luck!

[ZacsMumme]

lily - i don't think your LO is ready to drop the nap.  my LO can sometimes tack on after a no nap day and take a super long night but it's not a long term solution!

I agree, and understand your pain  
I have a friend whose LO is refusing to nap Turns out its mostly canines causing havoc along with this regression. SHe said to me 'he slept 13 hours after no nap but was shattered by 3pm, do you think I should just drop his nap' - NO, 2 days later....this kid was a mess. so tired he was napping at 9am after a 7am WU. They confuse us but one thing I am learning with Z is consistency usually wins over all, a 'little' tweaking will tell you which direction to move in, but I guess when you think of it in that 1.5/2hrs to nothing is a big jump for a small kid KWIM?

SO we are getting 1 good day/night and one shorter day/night. I think its partially teeth and poss UT/OT days as a result but only a touch if that makes sense. Any of you been through this.
ie
Night 1
BT 7
WU 7 (yus)
Night 2
BT 7
NW 10.30-10.50
EW 5.50 - drifts in and out and damanding to get up at 6.30

Nap is 12.30 for 2 hrs but I suspect its more like 1hr45/50 really once he is asleep.
These EW mornings are tough to get him to 12.30 so sometimes I PD at 12.15 and BT 15 mins earlier if needed.

[creations]

Hi ladies
I'm just wondering, what IS the 18 month sleep regression?
Is it so common that just about every LO goes through it and what are the signs?  Sorry if there is a FAQ somewhere that I've missed, can't see one.
My DS isn't 18 months yet but it would be cool to know what to expect in the next couple of months.

And big hugs to all of you coping with sleep problems xx

[lily528]

They confuse us but one thing I am learning with Z is consistency usually wins over all, a 'little' tweaking will tell you which direction to move in, but I guess when you think of it in that 1.5/2hrs to nothing is a big jump for a small kid KWIM?

I totally agree...even though they aren't entirely consistent themselves sometimes they thrive on consistency...I find the same works for us as well.

[ZacsMumme]

Creations...I wondered this too! I 'think' it isnt so much a 'regression' as it is more a combination of things that caused increased # of NW, or nap/BT refusals and EW. These 'things' are teething (discomfort) a huge change in development ie language explosions, abilities etc and learning that they are their own person which results in SA in a lot of LOs. Some also have a change in sleep needs so this can get masked (as the others can mask each other) so it becomes hard to 'know' what your LO needs and why they are behaving the way they are.

ie for us we had NW - SA related, some nightmares/NT and teething. After a few of each I realised the differences between each and this made the NW easier to handle. ie if it was pain, meds, cuddles and back to bed. If SA/nightmare cuddes and reassurance then back to bed. SA same thing, but a little bit of WI/WO.

The reason consistancy is recommended 'I think' is because if you make too many changes LO can get confused, pick up bad habits and/or get OT or in an UT/OT loop etc. A lot of articles I have read on this suggest 'riding it out' However, in doing so you can end up having to re sleep train.

sigh...did any of that make ANY sense

FWIW we got to the point of 1 NW every night. Before that it was 1 in every 3 or so. Now we are back to only 1 in every 2-3 and they are 99% teething related. NT/SA all seems to have come right for now. x

[creations]

Thanks Sara.
From what you've described I think DS has already hit the 'regression' then despite not being 18 months yet!
I'm currently changing his nap and BT times - or rather HE has changed them and I am trying to catch up and work out how to help him tweak them into something more appropriate for us both
But I can see that a lot of his disturbance is language development, independence and skills development, teething...just like you describe.  I've also noticed a massive appetite increase, and this in turn has effected BMs which then delay nap or BT.  I'm useless with knowing when growth spurts but from the way he's eating I assume there is one around 16/17 months.

Thanks again for filling me in. xx

[cath~]

Creations - I think Sara's expained it really well. Just one thing I'd add..

The reason consistancy is recommended 'I think' is because if you make too many changes LO can get confused, pick up bad habits and/or get OT or in an UT/OT loop etc. A lot of articles I have read on this suggest 'riding it out' However, in doing so you can end up having to re sleep train.

We ended up having to re-train because we were staying with L at BT until asleep and then co-sleeping after NW. However, we found this was the best way for us as a family to get through it. L had lots of SA and really needed the reassurance at that stage and we all got more sleep. Once she was ready for it, re-training too about a week or less in the end.  I think you just have to see how it goes, judge what's best for your family and don't feel too bad about using any 'bad' habits - you can always retrain.

[creations]

Thanks for that Catherine.
We don't have huge SA at the moment, a little when he is in teething pain or tired from waking too early in the morning but we've had phases in the past that have been worse so I'm not considering it as a 'problem' (not yet!).
Obviously knowing how other people have coped is useful, but I can't ever imagine co-sleeping.  DS has always refused to sleep in arms and won't even lay in or on my bed.  The only time he did was the two nights prior to being admitted to hospital.  He was SO poorly he chose to sleep with me.  So, yes, I can't imagine it but then I've never had an 18 month old before so I am open to anything coming my way.

[cath~]

Obviously knowing how other people have coped is useful, but I can't ever imagine co-sleeping.  DS has always refused to sleep in arms and won't even lay in or on my bed. 

This was EXACTLY L too.  LOL.  She would NEVER fall asleep in my arms as a NB (or older) and would NEVER sleep in our bed.  Up until about 17 months (I think) I could never ever imagine us co-sleeping.  I have no idea why/how though, but at some point in the last few months we found that she would sleep in our bed.  Still no chance of her falling asleep in our arms/lap though!

[clairebear79]

Agree Sara explained that well.

a huge change in development ie language explosions, abilities etc and learning that they are their own person which results in SA in a lot of LOs.

we found this to be the biggest factor of all.  DS has had a HUGE language explosion & is now talking in full sentences of 6-7 words & is saying words he's never ever said before & saying them in full.  It is truly amazing but I think his little brain must be on overdrive!  I think this is part of the reason they suddenly start to take ages to settle to sleep at bedtime, b/c their minds are whirring with all the new information.  The other thing we found, is that DS certainly learnt he was his own person - he wanted to assert his independence & so along with that came verbal refusal of nap & bedtime 'no, Ollie playing' etc & oh the tantrums if we said no!  We never suffered much with SA at sleep times or in the night - ours was more during the day e.g. when I needed to leave the room he would scream & sob & be absolutely distraught.

It is hard to know how much of it is developmental & how much of it is down to changing sleep needs.  Like Sara said, one can mask the other.  But I certainly found it to be a combination of both, and after 2 months of difficult naps/BT's & EWing, pushing the nap later has been the one thing that's got us back on track & things have settled nicely (for now!).  So if all else fails, hang onto the thought that it will all suddenly settle back down within the next month or so.xxx

[trimbler]

Welcome to the craziness, creations!

Well, after an unpromising start to the 1pm nap, on Sunday he woke at a reasonable time (can't quite remember when) and things seemed better for a while:

7:15 got up
1pm nap
2.45pm I woke from nap
8pm PD, 8.15ish asleep

Then uncharacteristic NW 1:30-2:30ish (putting it down to teething), then slept until...
Monday:
7am woke, not exactly happy, prob still tired after the NW
7:15 got up
1pm nap
2:45pm woke from nap (childminder)
8pm PD and straight to sleep!!!!!

today:
6:30 woke (urgh), again not so happy, don't think it was enough sleep
7:15 got up
1pm nap (short cry out around 2ish)
2:30ish woke and couldn't get back to sleep so got him up 2:45
7:50 PD (bit earlier as I didn't want OT, don't think he was at that time but...)
8:45 - DH has just gone in to reassure, he's still not asleep and definitely OT now

So I guess we just have to stick with this 1pm nap until he settles into it before we really know where we are. Then of course we have canines flaring up again and a sudden change in weather (has been cold and wet for weeks, today suddenly 26C - the joys of British weather. no wonder we're always talking about it!) so who knows what's to blame?

Sara, I'm sure I did read someone else's post about getting alternate long/short nights, but can't remember who or where, sorry! We tend to get one good night and at least a couple of weeks of short nights before the next freak/fluke good one!

Stardust, hope you see some improvement in DD's mood and sleep soon, I'm sure you need all the rest you can get!

Claire - does that mean you've reached some consistency now? Thanks for the reminder not to try and push BT back together with the nap, makes sense to keep it at the same time, and I really don't want that time to be after 8pm. Looks like we're aiming for something similar to you at the mo, ie our day on Monday above, so with the nap 15mins earlier than yours. But I'm guessing that was a big fluke! [just read your last post as I was about to post this - have to say I'm impressed with O's language! We're finally getting a few attempts at single words now, which is really exciting but I guess they all just do it in their own time ]

Thanks everyone for posting your woes/advice on here, helps me feel less alone in this and it's kind of reassuring to know that other LOs are doing similar things and that I'm not the only mum who thinks about it way too much

[ZacsMumme]

Creations, there is a developmental leap around 16 months...you may have hit that....basically I found they have developmental blimps all through the second year....

Z wont have a bar of my bed either. One time I tried climbing in his cot and I swear he thought i was bonkers!

I agree Catherine, we also just found ourselves giving in a bit because really, he wasnt doing it to be a PITA, we could tell each NW was a real reason....we havent had to sleep train ... but we are not out of the woods yet....

Claire - I wanted to ask you about pushing that nap. We have had a few EW, but luckily Z is going back to sleep. It is a sign of bad things to come though I think (unless its teething or illness related) - But to be prepared was O EW and if so were you being strong with his nap time, then pushing it, or going by A times then gradually pushing back as his WU got later?

trimbler - posted at the same time Good luck sticking with the 1pm nap...I think we may be heading there

[trimbler]

Good question, Sara, will be interested in that too! We're keeping 'up' time and 'down for nap' times pretty consistent, so that the 'A' time of actually being out of his cot and doing stuff is the same (5.45h in the morning at the mo) but he may be awake for longer than this. We're just trying to stick with the routine as much as possible, and I know that despite obviously seeing some OT and still having BT battles, this approach isn't affecting him nearly as much as it would have done ~15-16mo. I wouldn't have believed that at first, but it actually does seem 'safe' for us to do it this way now, which is a relief! We've been pushing the nap back by 15mins each time, but it does take him at least a couple of weeks to settle with the new time, by which I mean to nap well fairly consistently and to be consistent enough in his sleep patterns to have a reasonable guess at what to try next! Still hasn't solved BT issues but Claire's giving me hope that it might possibly all work out in the end