18 month sleep regression support thread

[stardust599]

Ladies i still don't have a laptop so can't read the thread fully but i really need help before i crack! After our failed attempt at capping... We did a week of CU with LO napping 2.15 - 3hours and STTN 11hours ish. My problem was that LO was falling asleep mid morning so we couldnt go anywhere in car or pram and also LO was in a rubbish mood in mornings but still happy and rested right up to  BT. Then sunday LO was at my mums and only had 2 short CNs although still STTN. Monday she had CU nap of 3hours til 3.30pm then PD at 7.30pm as we cant do BT later than this. LO chatted in her cot UT until 8.35pm and woke in her worst mood ever at 6.45am yesterday. So i decided the nap needs to shorten if its going to steal night sleep. So yesterday.. Wu 6.45am nap12.30-2.30 bed 7pm.  And it backfired on me again with 2 OT NWs and EW at 5.05am! With 7.5weeks until baby is here, several toilet trips a night, extreme preg fatigue and noisy neighbours i just cant cope with a rough night and EW. LO was 3 wks early and looking to be the same this time and i can't do nights of breastfeeding a.newborn as well as a toddler EW!!!

What do i do today? Should i stick with the capped 2hour nap or is my LO going to be too sensitive to capping and OT as i thought before? If i cant cap what do i do??? Help!

Edit - realised our routine has a long morning a and shorter afternoon with the fixed nap at 12.30.  so today i PD at 12 as she was lying.on the floor falling asleep at 11 at.toddlers again!. Now she is.moaning.and having the.odd cry.and refusing her.nap. Hope she falls asleep soon. I will wake at 2.15 which should be around 2hours sleep if i include time taken to fall asleep. And BT at 7? Does this sound okay? I hav a feeling i may get another restless and short OT night.

Please excuse my typing, will come back and tidy up when.not.on phone x

[clairebear79]

melissa - glad you got a nap yest!  Hope she slept ok overnight for you.

kara - hope A gets back on track today

stardust - I think the thing you need to bear in mind is that when you start to cap there WILL be some OT.  The OT isn't necessarily coming from capping (so long as you don't push too far/cap too short of course) but is more likely a build up of OT from what has happened over a few days prior to you starting.  For eg, last night you got 2 NW's & an EW which certainly sounds OT.  However, is it OT because you capped her nap, or is it because the day before she had a super long 3hr nap, went to bed UT & did a short night.  DYSWIM?  Sometimes it can take a wee while for them to get past the OT & settle into a new rhythm, so it may be you need to do it consistently & keep with the same nap time, nap length & bedtime for at least a week or 2 before you can say for sure whether it is or isn't working.  

And (((hugs))) hun b/c I've been there & with DS also being touchy I know how awfully grumpy OT can make him, but I have also learned that in being so afraid of him getting OT, I can often end up putting him down UT & IMHO this is worse, b/c if he isn't tired enough we get EW, and in our house EW = long day = OT.  That was a lot of waffle but I really hope it makes sense.

xx

ETA: I also want to reiterate that a 2hr nap is still a really good & restorative nap.  If you were capping at say 1hr & she was getting OT then I'd definitely say the nap is too short & its the cause of the OT, but at this stage I don't think that's the issue.  I think she is just in an UT/OT loop (UT at BT, OT at naptime) & the way to sort it is to cap, or increase the A time to BT.  I think a 2hr nap at 12pm & a 7pm BT sounds good for today though hun.  I really do think she'll need a consistent 5hr A to BT if you want to get out of the loop.

HTH.xx

[*Kara*]

Things are awful here... refused a PM nap so took her for a drive and she slept an hour from 145-245.  Went down after some chatting at 710pm... STTN but woke at 450am! 

What the heck do I do now?  She has had 2 nights in a row of less than 10 hrs sleep and a day of only 1 hr 10 mins total nap in the middle...

I think I have to just let her take a mega nap to catch up today?  I am terrified of trying 2 naps as I get a PM refusal with as little as a 5 min AM car snooze!  Ugh.

[stardust599]

Kara we are the same. LO will only nap once no matter how tired. I would allow a mega CU nap but not sure what the other girls would do?

Thanks claire. I think we are at another of those stages where no matter what i do her sleep is going to be poor and all i can do is salvage whatever i can! She is over sensitive to OT and cannot handle even a teeny bit without that EW coming.back and awful mood. Today went -

5.05am WU
7 hrs A (falling asleep on floor by 10.45-11)
PD 11.55AM, refusal until 12.45-1pm
Restless nap, awake for a bit at 2.15, back sleep until 2.45pm woke self think she had 1hr50ish maximum?
Tired by 5.45pm, low key evening and PD when comfortably tired at 7.15, no refusal!

UT is always better than OT at our house as OT means short naps, EW, NWs, PD refusal and SA all in one! As well as poor mood and complete food refusal  its no:- fun!! ;-)

Her morning needs to be shortened meantime until her WU goes later as we are missing her sleep window and putting down OT.  No idea what WU we will get tomorrow!

[*Kara*]

Yikes Stardust - sounds like we are living in the same ugly reality right now...

I am hoping for a mega CU nap....

I managed to keep her up until 10am... but she was OT and had to be AP'd to very drowsy (only had to rock/snuggle for about 5 mins).

Our day so far -

450am - WU
1010am - nap started, 1120am - very rough transition with loads of faffing for about 10 mins... still sleeping at 1137.  

Ugh - she is awake: 1212pm.  FARK!

She dozed back to sleep until 1230pm...

Kept it low key and she was shattered by dinner time.  Off to the bath at 615pm, sleeping at 645pm.  Phew. 

Her days are soooo long right now, but I don't know how to address it effectively... ideas?

[stardust599]

How did your night go Kara? Does sound similar to our house! If I ever find something that works I will let you know!

No change here really. Still a very tired and unhappy LO refusing sleep.  I have just ttied an earlier PD in the hope that she falls asleep without getting too OT.

[stardust599]

Hmmm.

I made a bit of a silly mistake.

Decided to work with the 6.15am WU as this is the time we've had for 7/10 days regardless of BT and nap length.

So I decided to start with 5.5hour A time and PD at 5hr20 and she did fall asleep at the 10min mark without a peep which is unheard of recently so a good start. But 5.5 can't be enough A as she woke chatting at 1hour20 but was then exhausted after another hour! So will add 15mins A and see what happens. Quite stuck at BT as LO is exhausted but won't do a 12hour night so can't really put down earlier than 6.30 but if LO is too OT we will get  5am Wu which is worse  so just got to PD and cross fingers!

Today 6.15 wu. Nap 11.45-1.05. BT 6.30??

[*Kara*]

Ugh.  I would do no earlier than 630 but but no later than 7pm for sure.

We have hit an all time low here.

PD at 640pm and was asleep at 645pm last night.  Up at 430am and would not go back to sleep

I am at a total loss now.  I have to get BT later as she just is not tacking on anymore and rarely sleeps longer than 11 hrs.  Most common nights are 10.5-10.75hrs.  So, I have put her down for a nap at 935am and giving her an hour.  Then will try to get a PM nap as well. 

[clairebear79]

Stardust - I would probably try & aim for nudging her gently towards a 6hr A in the AM.  Let her nap for 2hrs & then shoot for BT 4.5-5hrs later.  I can say that helped us through this regression, without a shadow of a doubt.

Kara - I think the same advice will probably apply for you too.  ATM A is having a very early & very long morning nap & this will just compound the EW & I also fear if you allow a 1hr AM nap today you may get PM nap refusal & end up with her being super OT at BT, or if she takes one she will be UT at BT leading to another EW.  IIWM (having BTDT of course) I would really really recommend pushing her nap later.  I think you need to get it after lunch at 12.30pm earliest, possibly heading towards 1pm to be rid of the EW.  And I also think you need to cap at 2hrs max, or nap will steal from night.  I know she is OT but its the combo of long & early nap that is causing the short nights, which makes her OT.  So allowing more long naps is like adding fuel to the fire IYSWIM?

Sorry ladies I hope that doesn't sound harsh - if it does I don't mean it to.  Its always easier from the outside looking in, when you are in the pits of OT & sleep deprivation its not fun & its not easy to see clearly what you need to do b/c you just want so desperately to fix it.  Big (((hugs))) all round to you both today.

We had an EW (10hr night) this morning too, so we're all in the same boat!x

[stardust599]

Thanks claire. Its just so hard to see LO in this horrible mood all the time and we are missing out all our activities etc. as shes just so exhausted and not interested.  And i cant go visit anyone in the car as she falls asleep within 10mins!

I think we made a slight recovery today...

6.15 wu
5.30 a (p.d. at 5.20)
11.45 - 1.05 nap
3pm almost almost asleep on walk
7.00 bed (p.d. at 6.40)

Tomorrow we have a funeral so Mum has LO meaning probably CNs only but i will ask her to PD at 5.40A (so pushed 20mins later than today) anyway and cap at 2hrs.

I will beat this before baby arrives! I will! This too shall pass :-)

[clairebear79]

Awww (hugs) hun - we were right where you were a month or 2 ago & I know - its not nice seeing them so tired.  I think today looks good, hope she has a good night.x

[*Kara*]

Thanks Claire - you are totally spot on hun.  Though, she did not at all refuse her PM nap   Had an hour from 935-1035am... she went down after a 30 second mantra at 2pm.  I was planning to wake at 330pm, but she just woke on her own at 325pm from a nice well rested nap (no OT business).

BT at 730/745pm??

[Mama_Mia]

hi Ladies, sorry y'all are having such a rough time right now. Hoping you can look at M's schedule and maybe offer some suggestions. I really dont think this is the 18 month regression, I think he just needs a change in his easy since he has been on the same one for so long, but who knows.

He used to do..

wu 7;00
nap 1:15-2:00
BT in bed by 7:00 sleeping by 7:45 (he always like a long wind down to himself)

now he is skipping naps and having long nws.

Last night he STTN for the 1st time in over a week
wu 7:00
in bed for nap 1:00 .. didnt sleep, happily played until I got him up at 2
BT in bed at 6:15 asleep within 5-10 minutes.

The main problems I have is that I really dont want to cut his nap shorter than 45min or have a later bt. I'd rather just do no nap and have a decent bt. But I dont think he can handle no nap everyday... I dont know what to do.

[clairebear79]

Kara - phew!  Glad A took the nap!  Hope she had a better night as a result.

Mama_C - have you chatted to MommaBrooke? - L has no nap days & I think she just gives a nap every few days to keep OT at bay.  Maybe that would work for M?  Might be worth PMing her to see how she's handled it?  My only other thought is to try him for a 1.30pm nap & see if that helps him settle more easily?

[Mama_Mia]

Just as I suspected, after no nap yesterday he had a 3hr long NW. From midnight to 3am. Got him up at 7:00 as normal and he is happy as a clam. I am so lost..

Claire I will try your idea of putting him down at 1:30 for his nap, that will make BT later but I guess thats better than these long NW's. I'm sure today he will need an earlier nap after being up half the night so as long as everything works out today I will try it tomorrow.