Making food choices for my toddler is stressing me out

[Tweakster]

So I am doing my best to get into cooking and meal planning the whole bit.  I find it's not so much the cooking - it's the deciding what to serve that's the real issue.  On one hand we've got the Food Guide to go by, making sure they have all the required servings in a day and then on top of that, you have all these opinions/people in the medical community saying they need more of this or that i.e. Omega-3, vitamin D, vitamin C, calcium, zinc, probiotics etc. etc.

Trying to come up with healthy meals, containing all of the food groups plus covering all the essential nutrition for a growing kid is making me insane.

I would love someone to just hand me a meal plan and say 'serve this every week and you have everything covered'.   

He's such a good eater, I don't want to limit what we offer either, but I also would like just to simplify things and make sure he's getting what he needs in a few basic meals.
DH and I are not good eaters in a sense that we rarely did big meals pre-Finn and covered our own needs - he prefers Marmite and I prefer salads, wraps, pasta, veg.  So it's like we are really starting from scratch here on the whole cooking thing and eating as a family.

Do you guys know what I mean?   

[Mom to M&M]

Hugs Wendy! I'd say try not to stress too much about it. Keep working on making small changes and expanding your diets as a family and don't worry if each meal meats all the food groups, etc. I've often heard that instead of worrying that each meal is perfect to look at a child's meal over a whole week. DS (and DD too for that matter) has poor days in terms of both quality and quantity and then good days. And it's VERY rare for all meals in a day to be "good".

In terms of "getting as much into" each meal as possible, I do some all in one meals like roasted chicken with veggies (and served with bread/butter), spaghetti and meatballs served with salad (or roasted veggies for DS), shepherd's pie, etc. DS tends to eat pretty badly most days at breakfast, decently for lunch and pretty well for dinner. But that can vary too.

Anyway, I'd just say that it sounds great that you're working on this and trying to all eat healthy! Sounds like an awesome job to me!

[Mama2boys]

I've often heard that instead of worrying that each meal is perfect to look at a child's meal over a whole week. DS (and DD too for that matter) has poor days in terms of both quality and quantity and then good days. And it's VERY rare for all meals in a day to be "good".

exactly. in all honesty i do not knwo of any normal person who can live by the pyramid everyday. It does not take into acct an individual's size, shape, metabolism etc.

I would say take baby steps, by cooking say 1 meal at home for each day and build from there...

[~ Vik ~]

I was going to say look at the whole week too!  I was panicking when Dylan was diagnosed with his allergies, trying to figure out how I was going to make meal time work and get him everything he needed - food groups, vitamins, and especially fats (since the soy milk that he's on is naturally low fat).  It was our doctor that told me not to stress about each and every meal because I would drive myself crazy - he said to offer healthy choices, let Dylan eat what he chose, and look at the week as a whole.  He said that as long as the healthy choices are offered, toddlers generally get what they need!

I actually keep a food journal for Dylan.  It started off as a way to track food reactions, but even though we have everything pretty well in hand I keep using it.  Some days are amazing - lots of fruit, veggies, protein, and milk - others are, well, not.  Maybe he didn't like the lunch at daycare (like today, when all he ate was ham and applesauce ), or maybe I tried to make something different and he didn't like it, or maybe he was just "off his feed" for a day.  I know there are days that I just don't feel like eating!  And there are times (no more than 1x per week mind you) that I give up on the food groups and make hot dogs and french fries for supper

[kimbo613]

Yeah, I think a bit of flexibility is the key here   Some days are just 'throw-away' days as far as nutrition goes. 

I tend to think of meals in threes - protein, grain, fruit/veggie.  I try to offer all three at each meal.  This is also how I (roughly) plan family dinners for the week.  For example, today for lunch DS had eggy toast (protein and grain) with apple slices.  Yesterday he had grilled cheese and grapes.  For dinner we had marinated chicken, broccoli (frozen peas for DS), and pasta (cause it was the only grain I had in the cupboard...need to go to the store   What also helps me is I made a list of lunch ideas that he likes and are quick and easy to make, so I just pick something from the list.  That way he doesn't get peanut butter every day   And he doesn't always eat what I make, but unless it's protein, I don't worry.  (It is difficult to get any protein besides dairy into him.  If he doesn't eat it at lunch, I try again at snack and/or dinner).

But if you are always offering healthy choices and not junk like candy and potato chips, he will get what he needs over the course of a few days.  Toddlers are resilient little creatures   Even if you give them loads of candy, I think they still grow like weeds.

[Mashi]

Wendy we were in a similar situation when DS started eating "our" food - we always ate meals together but at least twice per week there was a ready meal (ie/ supermarket lasagne or shepherd's pie to stick in the oven) as we were both working and home late, lots of whatever we can make quick, etc.  I have really worked on things this past year, and by no means am as good as I would like to be but we are doing much much better.  Helps that I am home FT with DS and have the time (sort of) to cook, I know.

I have a food pyramid servings listing on the fridge. Just a little handwritten chart with the number of F&V, grains, dairy and meats that we each need in a day. I leave DH to himself and I only pay half attention to my own, in all honesty but I do try very hard with DS and I'd say he is getting his proper amounts each day (though yes, nutritionally balanced I look at a whole week not a day). 

For the other things you've said, vitamins, iron, omegas, probiotics, etc, I sat and read a dozen articles on what kids need in their diet (you would be surprised at the variation from one "expert" to another so I read enough until I had a comfortable idea in my mind of either a reasonable compromise between the amounts or went with the sources that I felt most reputable). I did a little check on what the staples are in DS's diet to see what he lacks in - for instance, I know that vitamin C is not something he lacks with how much fruit he eats so there's no concern there and I can not worry. The other foods, I decided what's most important and choose ONE to work on. So for a long time it was fat...DS just did not have enough fat in his diet (hardly any in fact) and we needed to find ways to increase it. I wrote out some extra ways, fattier food choices for him, etc and stuck it to the fridge. Once it got to be more of a habit for me, we moved on to something else...iron.  I know my DS gets such little iron and really needs it so I have a little paper on the fridge with how much iron he needs in a day and some of the things he will eat that have good iron levels and how much iron they contain, so I can mentally keep my eye on it.  One that gets to be habit we will move on to another one. 

I find that when you're looking for the healthiest foods and best choices a lot of the same foods crop up again and again and overlap categories.  So if you're looking to boost omega fatty acids and choose to have sardines once a week, you realise that it does the trick for calcium levels as well, iyswim. 

But to me it is overwhelming to do everything at once, so I pick little bits at a time. My kid can survive without probiotics but he can't survive without iron (IMO) so I am going to pick the one that is more crucial and work on it first before I stress myself out with the other things.

[MLK]

IN one of Tracy's books she describes an experiment that was done early last century - a researcher looked at what babies ate over a period of a couple of weeks and found that if offered a variety of foods, they self selected a balanced diet EVENED out over the 2 week (I think) period. So the key thing really is to offer and trust he will self - regulate... which toddlers will do as long as they are left to choose for themselves and their taste buds are not tempted by too many treats.

 I would just keep it simple, something like this:

2 cups full fat milk a day

Each proper meal (i.e. not snacktime) offer 1 of each of these foods:
1. protein (meat, fish, egg, cheese, yoghurt, nut butter)  - don't use low fat.
2. carb (cereal, rice,pasta, other grains, bread, potato, sweet potato). I like to have about half the carbs wholegrain.
3. fruit and/or veggie

Make sure the meal includes some fat (butter/olive oil or full fat dairy.) If he doesn't eat everything you offer, that's OK.

Even something simple like cheese on toast and a banana fits the bill!

snacks (twice a day): yoghurt, crackers, cheese, fruit, dried fruit, veggie sticks

I would also limit any treats to one a day. As long as you are offering food that is not too processed, then just trust he'll balance things out for himself.

[Tweakster]

This is great ladies.  What I needed to hear.  It's pretty much what I try to do, most meals though tend to not have a carb because I am really not great at side dishes and I mainly just serve meat and veg.  But I'll try some brown rice, and other things that were mentioned on another thread. 

Oddly he's not a potato fan, sweet or otherwise.  He'll eat fries   But we don't get those often at all.

He gets his carbs mainly at breakfast as he usually has toast AND cereal.  DH does eggs several times a week and he loves them too.

I tend to give him fruit at every meal because he's hit and miss on veg and I know he'll eat it.  He's a fruit fanatic.  Just being careful not to serve fruit in place of other things, we serve the other things first THEN fruit.  He'll still eat up fruit every time, even if he has said he's all done (he uses the sign language for that now!).

He went off yogurt for some reason, but we'll try again I think.  He doesn't drink a lot of milk and his cheese is limited - he maybe drinks 10 oz of milk a day, and 8 of those is only because he still gets a bottle at bedtime.  I'd like him to eat more yogurt and drink more milk.  Hmm start throwing cheese on the eggs in the morning.  Or on the toast.  These are all good tricks!

His iron stores are low and I need to improve that too.  So yeah, I should have a list somewhere with these foods and what they contain.  The dietician told me about heme iron and non-heme and so I am trying to include foods that have these iron types.

I find that when you're looking for the healthiest foods and best choices a lot of the same foods crop up again and again and overlap categories.  So if you're looking to boost omega fatty acids and choose to have sardines once a week, you realise that it does the trick for calcium levels as well, iyswim. 

This is the issue, I am not up on which foods contain which vitamins and nutrients.  I need to educate myself.  In my own life, I tend to pop the supplements i.e. fish oil for omegas, rather than make dietary changes.  Not the best way forward I know but it's easiest.  He might not be getting enough fats.  I need to check that out.

Treats he doesn't really get, last night I gave him half a choc & caramel rice cake and he didn't even want it.  He gets chocolate maybe once a month, if that, and it pretty much comes in the form of cake from someone's birthday. Ice cream he's had like 3 times in his whole life so far hehe.  He's never had any candy.  We rarely even give him biscuits.  He mainly eats fruit as his treat.  Or some crackers like Goldfish or the veggie Bear Paws.  He's had potato chips/crisps at parties but not at home.  Daycare don't give them treats either.  Too many risks about allergies etc. there so they really keep it simple with meals.  If we are going to eat something 'bad' we wait until he's in bed.  The less modeling we do eating naughty foods the better it will be for him and actually for us because we are eating less of it.

[Mashi]

This is the issue, I am not up on which foods contain which vitamins and nutrients.  I need to educate myself.  In my own life, I tend to pop the supplements i.e. fish oil for omegas, rather than make dietary changes.  Not the best way forward I know but it's easiest.  He might not be getting enough fats.  I need to check that out.

I have a bunch of websites marked and a good "toddler and children's" cookbook that has lots of dietary info in it - but right now DH and DS are out and I am supposed to be cleaning the bathroom  so I'll copy my bookmarks for you later, if you are looking for some good starting points.

[MLK]

Enjoy restricting the treats - it gets harder as they get older! (grandparents and older brothers!) If he gets a lot of carbs at breakfast I wouldn't fuss too much at including them at every meal - it will all balance out.

[bubbabear1]

Need to dash off but want to read later!

Siobhan
xx

[Mom to M&M]

ITA with Lan about it all balancing out. Also - in terms of potatoes, if he'll eat fries, have you tried sweet potato fries? You can make your own OR if short on time I sometimes buy the Alexia brand. All natural and really simple and healthy. I also make my own fries that are SUPER good and healthy. I leave the peels on the potatoes (I use Russets), scrub them and cut them into thin wedges or sticks. Then toss with salt, egg white and EVOO (for about one pound of potatoes, enough to feed DH, DD, DS and I as a side dish I use 1/2 tsp salt, one egg white and 1 tbsp olive oil). Then lay them out on a baking sheet sprayed with Pam, dust with cornmeal and bake at 400 for 45 minutes or so. Come out so crispy and good!

What about chicken noodle soup? SO easy to make a big batch and freeze and a complete meal since I add in tons of veggies, noodles and chicken and DS scarfs it down. My DS doesn't really get dipping yet but DD likes to dip bread into the soup as well.

For healthy fats, in addition to cheese and nut butters, avocado spreads well on toast.

[anna*]

Oddly he's not a potato fan, sweet or otherwise.  He'll eat fries

Wedges! The gateway between fries and 'real' potatoes.