... and I'm getting scared
Dylan was originally supposed to move up to the toddler room at his daycare at the beginning of July. Due to some staff holidays, and a child that was supposed to be leaving deciding to stay until the end of the summer, Dylan won't be moving up until September 7. Other than the cost ($50/day vs. $38/day) it didn't really bother me at all; DH's sister is one of the carers in the infant room and he's got a good routine going there. He's definitely developmentally ready to move up though - he's WAY beyond the rest of the infants (only 2 of the other infants are walking, and only 1 is attempting to talk) and he gravitates towards the toddlers when they're all out in the playground together. I know that he needs to move up and be with the older kids and doing the activities they do. He likes the 2 carers in the room, he's already got a couple of little friends in there from out in the playground, etc. Socially and developmentally, he needs to move up.
But his allergies scare the crap out of me.
In the infant room they all eat in high chairs, and Dylan has his own that no-one else ever uses. There's no chance of something spilling and not getting wiped up properly, it's HIS highchair. But it's with all the other ones, so he's not segregated at meal time in the slightest.
In the toddler room they eat at two toddler sized tables with chairs. Together. Where they can grab, spill, touch, and, well... generally be toddlers. There are two other kids in the room that drink soy milk (one is lactose intolerant, one is MPI) and the carers have said that they will place Dylan in between them, so that will help some, but
Also, because of the high chairs in the infant room, Dylan can't see what everyone else is eating. So if today's lunch is cheese quiche (pretty much the worst thing possible in the nut-free daycare) and I bring him something different it makes no difference to him! The carers always put his food in the same type of bowl as everyone else's and he happily munches away. But at the toddler tables he would be able to see that his food is different. And it does matter to him - when we eat dinner at the table, if there's something on DH's or my plate that is different (even if it just looks different, like a large slab of meat vs. his cut up little pieces) he points at our plate and then points at his open mouth
and he is very insistent. Fine at home (if we are eating as a family I ensure that the meal is safe for everyone; if DH and I want something like bacon and eggs we do it after bedtime) but at daycare there will be unsafe meals. I have to provide his lunch at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3 times. At home our plates are out of reach, at daycare that bowl full of hives and swelling is going to be within arms reach...
And toddlers feeding themselves yogourt for snacks. Cheese. Quiche. Loaves made with egg. Cream sauces on noodles. Mustard in a dressing. The daycare is peanut/nut free thank goodness, but everything else...
I know that this is something that I'm going to have to deal with. We're doing a tour of the toddler room with the daycare manager and the staff of the toddler room next week. I don't even know what questions to ask, what requests to make. I do NOT want Dylan segregated from the rest of the toddlers at meal time. It's not fair to him and I don't want him to feel different and not understand why. But I don't know how to suggest that they keep him safe. I know that there's going to be a learning curve, and I'm prepared for hives to happen. With all their experience and care with him in the infant room, he would still get at least a couple random hives per day and have enough hives to need benadryl occasionally. But how can I minimize it? How can I help? What should they be doing? Any parents who have BTDT in a school or group daycare setting have words of wisdom to pass on?
Sorry that this has become so long and rambled